Why should you never ice skate on a duck pond?

Because the ice might quack.

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Foamy07
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Pigeon on roller skates?

A Skate-Bird.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bad11ama
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a polar bear on roller skates?

A roller bear!

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/powerninja101
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I’ve been wanting to go ice skating for a while. My friends bought me a pair of skates recently, but they broke on the first use!

If you ask me, they’re cheapskates.

πŸ‘︎ 74
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FunkyFaz
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Why skate board??

Just find something to do

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheeOuris
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What a cheap skate
πŸ‘︎ 472
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Brawl_Noob
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Where do you go to learn to skate?

Boarding school.

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MaximumPollution
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
🚨︎ report
What does Marty McFly skate on that also cleans his carpet?

A hoover board

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/aparks1437
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2018
🚨︎ report
My daughter wanted to buy her own ice-skates and asked "Where's a good place to find cheap skates?"

www.JDate.com

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Datasinc
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2015
🚨︎ report
Why did the hipster drown?

He went skating on the lake before it was cool

πŸ‘︎ 163
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PoolSharkPete
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10
🚨︎ report
Why did the teenager give a shoe with wheels a math test?

Because he wanted to make a skate bored!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DecIsMuchJuvenile
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
🚨︎ report
What's a unvaccinated child's favourite skating pose?

Coffin

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Fuyguy12
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
🚨︎ report
My boss found out I applied a job to be ice skating coach

Now I am on thin ice

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ryonnsan
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2019
🚨︎ report
I went out on a first date with this girl. We went ice skating but we got kicked out.

We were starting to break the ice.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Dad: "Me and your mum met at the winter wonderland skating rink. We jumped when we saw each other".

"It was our way of breaking the ice."

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rethinkr
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Title card
πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JoJoMcFearson
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between Judge Judy & a melting skating rink?

One brings people to justice, whilst the other brings people to just ice.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JoshP99
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I was going to have an ice skating party...

but it fell through.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wisc_lib
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I joined the figure skating team to pick up girls...

literally.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RoninK
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2017
🚨︎ report
Why did the chicken cross the road?
πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a shepard that's always cutting costs?

A sheep-skate.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2020
🚨︎ report
My friends never let me borrow money for arcade games at the roller rink

Cheap skates

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/druebird86
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2020
🚨︎ report
514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 77
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
little sister was 'skating' on the polished floor.

sis: dad look, ice skating!

dad: no no, dear, you say: I AM skating.

πŸ‘︎ 72
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gendermouse
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2013
🚨︎ report
My dad this morning on team Canada figure skating in the Olympics

Mom: "Oh look, Team Canada is in second place for team figure skating!"

Dad: "Oh, that figures."

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/monsieurjello
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2014
🚨︎ report
Watching Olympic speed skating when...

Step mom: "Wow, he swept the podium!" Dad: "Yeah, the guys who were up there before him made a huge mess."

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/speedymya_STRO
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2014
🚨︎ report
Friend and I were watching figure skating on the Olympics

Me: Why is it called short-program skating?

Friend: Because it's the 20 second Olympics.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cortexgunner92
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2014
🚨︎ report
The student becomes the master...

I noticed my daughters earrings went nicely with her shirt, so like a good confidence-boosting dad would, I told her, "Your earrings match nicely." And she replied, "Yeah, Dad, they come in pairs."

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/towneseyes
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2014
🚨︎ report
My boyfriend got me good.

Scene: Bf was getting ready for a skate session and discovered a tiny pocket in the back on the waistband of his shorts intended for keys.

Me: Don't put your keys there, you might fall and get stabbed in the kidneys.

Bf: It's cool, I still have two adult knees.

Me: Oh my god.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fionananana
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2013
🚨︎ report
A friend was lamenting that "Take Me To Church" was playing at her son's rollerskating birthday party...

She thought the song was too sad for rollerskating. I completely agreed and said there should definitely be a separation of church and skate.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/martyz
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2016
🚨︎ report
I took my significant other out on a date to the ice rink.

Entry was half price.

She called me a cheap skate.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ScottyUrb
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2018
🚨︎ report
I don't know why I even do this...
πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tg4414
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2014
🚨︎ report
Does anybody remember the movie "Grind"?

Roger Ebert gave it a skating review.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/disintegore
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2018
🚨︎ report
No idea if anyone is interested but a friend has opened up an ice rink charging just 10p a go.

Cheap Skate.

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IAMBiSH
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2017
🚨︎ report
Why did the hipster fall in the lake?

He went ice skating before it was cool.

πŸ‘︎ 128
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ivegot_back
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the hipster fall into the lake ?

He went ice skating before it was cool.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the hipster drown?

He went ice skating on the pond before it was cool

πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ducks420
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did the hipster drown?

He went ice skating before it was cool

πŸ‘︎ 385
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SideOfInsanity
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the hipster drown

He went ice skating on the pond before it was cool.

πŸ‘︎ 119
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Blobty
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
🚨︎ report
The hipster from next door drowned.

He went ice skating before it was cool.

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RobRoy333
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the hipster drown?

He went ice skating before it was cool.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SunportEnclave
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2019
🚨︎ report
A guy asked if I wanted to use his ice rink for $1....

..... I thought what a cheap skate

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the hipster drown?

He went ice skating on a pond before it was cool.

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2019
🚨︎ report
A hipster drowned yesterday

He went skating before it was cool

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DatRoomate
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2019
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.