What's the zamboni doing at the hockey rink right before a match?

Initialicing

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mauriel_w
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
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Did you hear about the basketball player who tried to shoot hoops on a hockey rink?

Scottie Slippen

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NateTheSimpleOne
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2020
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The other day, I saw a roller rink that charged only 50 cents an hour.

I thought, β€œWow, what a cheapskate!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xgold4428
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2020
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My friends never let me borrow money for arcade games at the roller rink

Cheap skates

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πŸ‘€︎ u/druebird86
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2020
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Why is it always so cool at a hockey rink?

Because of all the fans.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2019
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A guy asked if I wanted to use his ice rink for $1....

..... I thought what a cheap skate

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2019
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Dad: "Me and your mum met at the winter wonderland skating rink. We jumped when we saw each other".

"It was our way of breaking the ice."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rethinkr
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2019
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What's the difference between Judge Judy & a melting skating rink?

One brings people to justice, whilst the other brings people to just ice.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoshP99
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2019
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I took my significant other out on a date to the ice rink.

Entry was half price.

She called me a cheap skate.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ScottyUrb
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2018
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No idea if anyone is interested but a friend has opened up an ice rink charging just 10p a go.

Cheap Skate.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IAMBiSH
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2017
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Wednesday nights are always half-price at the local ice rink

Makes me feel like such a cheapskate

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lepantswizzard
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2015
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Did you here about the guy who slid around barefoot on an ice rink?

Wait, never mind. He got cold feet

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Maimedbystander
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2014
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Two buddies decide to go ice-fishing one day.

So they get their parkas and snow boots, fishing rods and ice auger, and everything else they need, and go out to find a good spot.

Just as they start to drill a hole in the ice, they hear a great booming voice from above: "There are no fish here!"

"What was that?"

"It sounded like the voice of God!"

"Well let's try somewhere else."

They move away a bit, and settle down to try again. But before they can even start to drill, they hear it again:

"There are no fish here!"

So they pack up and move even farther down the ice. Surely this will be a good spot. But just as they pull out the auger, the voice booms out again:

"Listen you guys, I'm the manager of this ice rink, and I'm telling you there are no fish here!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PeppermintBiscuit
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
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I’ve reached peak Dad!

Went to the outdoor ice rink yesterday with my wife and son. Ran into our friend Rosy and her kids who were just leaving. Rosy said they had fun but were cold now so had to leave. I responded β€œyea you look cold. Your cheeks are...........rosy” cue my wife’s loud groan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/deep_6d
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2019
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Granddad just reeled off this burn:

Got on to the subject of ice skating after dinner, when my granddad told us that "you can have nasty accidents at ice rinks... Me and your grandma first met at one"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CalumW
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2015
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Do not cut a hole in the ice.

An ice fisherman hauls his gear across the ice to his fishing spot. He puts his gear down and begins to cut his hole into the ice. A few seconds after he begins, he is startled by a booming, ominous voice;

"DO NOT CUT A HOLE IN THE ICE."

He shrugs it off and decides he is clearly hearing things, so he resumes cutting his hole into the ice. A few seconds later, again;

"DO NOT CUT A HOLE IN THE ICE."

Clearly he isn't hearing things and begins to feel a bit scared. He still needs to feed his family however, and so resumes his cutting. A third time he hears the voice;

"DO NOT CUT A HOLE IN THE ICE."

This time he puts down his saw, looks to the sky and asks, "God? Is that you?"

"THIS IS THE ICE RINK MANAGER. DO NOT CUT A HOLE IN THE ICE!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/evmag
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2014
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