How does a duck swim from one side of the pond to the other?

Very Quackly

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you combine a deer, an ant, and a pond?

Stagnant water.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keeps attacking him.

I guess that's what I get for buying a pure bread dog.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cyclopropagative
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Why should you never ice skate on a duck pond?

Because the ice might quack.

πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Foamy07
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report
A woman fell into Walden pond last night.

Fortunately she was rescued after a Thoreau search.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/klwill1192
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Why are there no ducks on the pond at Buckingham palace?

Because it is for no bills only

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HueyLameass
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Whenever I walk out to my backyard pond

My fish first pop out to say hello, but then quickly retreat to cover. Then they'll tease like they're coming out again, but then they'll shy away.

What makes them act so coy!?

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FightMilkLLC
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
🚨︎ report
James Pond
πŸ‘︎ 144
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/petarkefa
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I showed my friend my pond, including the best fishing spots and the place where the bank drops off...

I wish the First National would stop sending their packages to my pond's address...

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
🚨︎ report
A stone thrown into a pond in 1990 has been wet for around 30 years.

Let that sink in.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dinner_cat96
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Frog ponds 🐸

Q: How deep is a frog pond?

A: Knee-deep! Knee-deep!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/svn380
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Seen at Walden Pond
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/whirleychurley
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I think the ducks in our pond need help

They’re addicted to quack

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Well, well, well Mr. Pond.
πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Blizzrobe777
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
🚨︎ report
We couldn't find any ducks at the duck pond this morning

They were gone before quack of dawn

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yatzhie04
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2020
🚨︎ report
the names pond
πŸ‘︎ 52
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/weesome
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
🚨︎ report
I called my local aviary owner and asked if she had any water birds for my new backyard pond.

She told me she had a bad experience with some water birds and doesn't sell them anymore. I angrily told her that a real aviary owner would sell water birds too. >!She said she and has no egrets.!<

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2020
🚨︎ report
A goose talking to duck at the local pond. β€œMy husbands gone away for a few weeks to Africa”. β€œOh really.” Says the the Duck β€œUganda?”...

β€œNo I’m a goose. My husband is a gander”

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Snuck a photo of my neighbors pond

It was a koi move

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/snuzet
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a fake pond fish?

A dekoi.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dumb-reply
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
🚨︎ report
My name is Pond
πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2019
🚨︎ report
The names pond, James pond.

I’ve got a license to krill.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
🚨︎ report
James pond
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SamTheDuck59
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the thief who jumped into the fish pond?

People said he was very coy

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/abdic8
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call ducks that steal from their pond?

Robber ducks.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GaMonkey07
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Back of the pond
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NickSkye
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2019
🚨︎ report
There's a beaver in my pond

But I don't give a dam

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wawoodworth
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I was really angry with my friend for building a walkway over my pond...

...I’ve forgiven him now. It’s just water under the bridge

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Harry_Mote
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a man with no arms or legs floating in a pond?

Bob

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RadicalPaganism
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2018
🚨︎ report
I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him..

Guess that's what I get for having a pure bread dog.

πŸ‘︎ 107
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zurcatnas
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I cant take My dog to the pond anymore cuz the geese keep attacking him.

I guess thats whats I deserve for having a Pure bread dog

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tgm810
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him.

Guess that's what I get for buying a pure bread dog.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/anshbob
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
🚨︎ report
I can't take my dog to the pond any more, the ducks keep attacking him.

I guess that's what I get for buying a pure bread dog.

πŸ‘︎ 63
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I can't take my dog to the pond for exercise because the ducks keep attacking him

That's what you get for buying a pure bread dog

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2020
🚨︎ report
We can't take our dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him...

Guess that's what we get for buying a pure bread dog...

πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2017
🚨︎ report
I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him..

I guess that's what I get for having a pure bred dog

πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Armyman194
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him...

Guess that's what I get for buying a pure bread dog...

πŸ‘︎ 225
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him.

Guess that's what I get for buying a pure bread dog.

πŸ‘︎ 112
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/One_Day_Dead
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2019
🚨︎ report
I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him....

I guess that's what I get for buying a pure bread dog.

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tekprojekt
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2019
🚨︎ report
I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him.

Guess that's what I get for buying a pure bread dog.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kaio-renwar
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2019
🚨︎ report
I can't take my dalmatian to the duck pond anymore

I guess that's what you get for having a pure bread dog.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/This_Guy_Is_Weird
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2019
🚨︎ report
I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him.

Guess that's what I get for buying a pure bread dog.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2019
🚨︎ report
How deep is a frog pond?

Knee-deep.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RageMonster17
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2019
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.