Looking for a turtle pun :)
Can u guys help mi with this one :) need it for my presentation.
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︎ Feb 22 2018
My favourite teacher at school was Mrs Turtle...
Strange name, but she tortoise well .
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︎ Feb 18 2021
What do you get when you combine a porcupine and a turtle?
A slowpoke!
*a friend of mine told me this and I thought it would fit well here
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︎ Oct 10 2020
Daddy, look! Those turtles are playing piggyback! Son, I was going to wait till you were older for this talk but...
Those are tortoises , not turtles.
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︎ Feb 02 2021
What kinds of photos do turtles take??
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︎ Jan 26 2021
What happens to a turtle when it dies?
It goes into riga-tortoise
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︎ Dec 02 2020
Where do you find a turtle with no legs?
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︎ Jan 18 2021
My son wanted jellyfish for his sea turtle.
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︎ Dec 03 2020
Teenage Mutant CHINja Turtles
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︎ Sep 15 2020
What do you call a turtle in a chefβs hat?
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︎ Nov 29 2020
Customer: Do you have any books on turtles?
Store owner: Hard cover?
Customer: Yes, with little heads
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︎ Oct 23 2020
I went to the book store and asked the assistant for any books about turtles.
She asked " Hardback? " And I said.. .." yeah, and little heads. "
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︎ Nov 10 2020
How did the mean turtle cross the road?
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︎ Oct 27 2020
How does a legless turtle cross the road? π’
Take the F out of free and take the F out of way.
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︎ Aug 04 2020
I mean hes a bread turtle
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︎ May 31 2020
What do you call an Italian turtle?
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︎ Jul 04 2020
I havenβt been able find my pet turtle for the past few months
Turns out heβs just been sheltering in place.
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︎ Sep 06 2020
What kind of house do ninja turtles live in when they go on vacation from living in the sewers and fighting crime?
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︎ Sep 29 2020
What do you a thin turtle that is a god?
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︎ Jul 09 2020
An alternative... was that A'Tuin was crawling from the Birthplace to the Time of Mating. When they arrived they would briefly and passionately mate, for the first and only time, and from that fiery union new turtles would be born to carry a new pattern of worlds.
This was known as the Big Bang hypothesis.
Joke by Terry Pratchett, βThe Colour of Magicβ, Prologue.
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︎ Sep 03 2020
What's a turtle family called?
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︎ Aug 15 2020
If I want to make Escargot and turtle soup for dinner....
Do I need to use a slow cooker?
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︎ Aug 27 2020
Why did the turtle go to T-mobile
Because he couldn't sprint
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︎ Apr 18 2020
How do you know your turtle is dead?
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︎ Jul 06 2020
Why did the turtle retire and move to the south pole?
He couldn't handle any more hare-racing adventures
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︎ Mar 22 2020
Which ninja turtle likes pastries?
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︎ May 16 2020
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︎ Jan 08 2020
turtle torture
what do you call it when a tortoise has balance issues?
tortellini
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︎ May 07 2020
Every time we went somewhere to eat, my father would close the menu and say, βIβll take a turtle soup...
and make it snappyβ.
I hated eating anywhere with him, now I think itβs funny. Help, Iβm turning into my father.
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︎ Mar 11 2018
Makes a mean turtle soup
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︎ Dec 14 2019
What do you call a lesson on turtles?
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︎ Apr 09 2018
What does a turtle do on their birthday?
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︎ Jul 11 2019
I went to a party dressed as a turtle with my daughter on my back, and someone asked what was on my back.
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︎ Oct 29 2019
Me at the bookstore: Do you have any books on turtles?
Cashier: Hard back?
Me: yea, with little heads.
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︎ Oct 30 2019
You don't often see "turtles" spelled T-U-R-D-l-e-s
because they're an endangered feces
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︎ Jan 12 2020
Turtles
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︎ Jul 09 2019
My turtle was upset.. he couldnt afford the new shell-phone
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︎ Sep 13 2019
What did the snail say while riding on the turtles back?
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︎ Jan 11 2020
What do you call a turtle missing one leg?
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︎ Jul 16 2017
Dad walking into bookstore. "Do you have any books on Turtles?"
Worker: "Hardback?"
Dad: "Yeah, with little heads."
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︎ Nov 05 2019
Why do we think the turtle is the wisest animal?
Because it has tortoise so much.
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︎ Jun 30 2019
A man is sitting at a bar when he notices a turtle near the register. It is covered with bandages ....
and not moving. "So uh, what's the deal with the dead turtle?" he asks. The barkeep perks up, "Dead? you say? I'll have you know that this is the fastest turtle on Earth!" "In fact, I have fifty dollars that say **this** turtle can beat **you** to the other side of the room!" The man looks at the motionless turtle and says, "Alright - Your on!" "on the count of three" says the bartender. "one" "two" "three!" and he picks up the turtle and throws it across the room.
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︎ Apr 19 2019
I asked a librarian if she had a book about Turtles.
She said hardback? I said yeah with a little head.
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︎ Apr 26 2020
I went into the library and asked for a book on turtles.
The lady said, "hardback?" I replied, "yes, with little wrinkled heads"
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︎ May 12 2020
Why did the turtle retire and move to the south pole?
He couldn't handle any more hare-racing adventures
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︎ Mar 22 2020
My favourite teacher at school was Mrs. Turtle
Strange name but she tortoise well..
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︎ Aug 14 2019
Do you have any books on turtles?
"Hard back?"
Yes, and with little heads.
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︎ Nov 09 2019
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