A van full of terrapins crashed into a van full of tortoises.
It was a turtle disaster!
What do you get when you mix a tortoise with a porcupine?
A slow poke
What do you call it when a lorry of tortoises crashes into an aquarium?
A turtle disaster
The Tortoise : I won the Race...
The Hare : you beat me in the race but i had a nap, so who's the Real Winner.?
Where do you find a tortoise with no legs?
Where you left it.
Why did the tortoise cross the road?
To get to the Shell station.
What do you get when you cross a tortoise and a porcupine
A slow poke
What do you call it when a tortoise has balance issues?
Tortellini
I went to a baking school, they tortoise how to make those.
What happened when two tortoises collided?
It was a turtle disaster!
Russian Tortoise
I am a proud father.
Wife: Your teacher has a Russian Tortoise.
6-year old son: Why is called Russian when it goes so slow.
What did the snail say while riding on a tortoise?
WEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
(Bonus dad points the longer you draw it out with your arms in the air and/or in a public place)
I saw a van full of tortoises had crashed on the highway today.
It was a turtle disaster.
The plural of tortoise in Mexico
My SO and I were wondering what the plural of tortoise was.
"Is it tortoises or tortae?" we asked, walking.
"We're in Mexico, it's tortilla."
