Hey! Did you see that snail-shaped car with the letter S painted on it drive by?

Just look at that escargo.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jollyflyingcactus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
🚨︎ report
How do you get a snail out of its shell?

You slug it!!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KayakFlyFisher74
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15
🚨︎ report
Why did the snail buy a Tesla Model S?

To drive it around and make people say "look at that S car go!"

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kriskidd21
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do French people eat so many snails?

Because they dont like fast food

πŸ‘︎ 602
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πŸ‘€︎ u/growupyall
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I love snails so I painted the letter S all over my car

Now whenever I'm out driving, people point to my car and say: "Look at that S car go."

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Snail car

One day a snail went to a car dealership, he said to the dealer. I want a custom car, a car that’s very fast and had a big s on the side. The dealer said ok and the snail paid. 3 weeks later the snail got a call that his car was ready. When the snail went back to the dealership for his car and the dealer asked him why he snail wanted a big s on the side, and the snail said β€œI’ve been very slow all my life, so when I’m going down the freeway at high speeds, I want people to look over and say look at that escargot”

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Neg12DollaBill
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
If you took the shell off a snail...

Would it be faster... Or abit sluggish?

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/J0eYT
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What relationship advice did the snail give to it’s friend?

Take it slow.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ConradFlick
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I thought I'd try my hand at snail racing.

My thinking was that if I take their shells off, that they'd be lighter and quicker.

All it did was make them a bit sluggish.

πŸ‘︎ 185
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CMDR-Hooker
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a snail that plays baseball?

Louisville Slugger

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/arc-ion
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
You'd think snails would be faster without their shells.

But they're actually a bit more sluggish.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I took the shell off of my racing snail in hopes that he'd be lighter and faster...

But now he's just sluggish

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yadnivek
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do snails always say foolish things?

Because they can't keep their foot out of their mouth.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/flaveraid
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report
What do snails become when they die?

Escarghosts

πŸ‘︎ 578
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2020
🚨︎ report
*Snail soup*
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MeltedSSD
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Why are French snails faster than American ones?

L’ess cargo.

πŸ‘︎ 71
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
🚨︎ report
(with thanks for encouragement from u/sherbert_suspicious): I built a little model sports car car for my snail, and called it an S-car for Snail.

Every where he drove it, people shouted "Look at that S-Car go!"

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IranRPCV
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Said by a snail lover…

"I put the 'escargot' in 'presh-escargot'."

('Precious cargo')

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Two snails pulled up next to me at a red light.

When the light turned green they sped away.

I looked to my friend and said, β€œlook at that S car go!”

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/davidwayland
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Where do you find giant snails?

At the end of a giant’s finger.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CheesusHChrust
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I took the shell off of my racing snail, thinking it would make him go faster. If anything it made him more sluggish.
πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Trispir
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
🚨︎ report
A man with a Mexican accent is delivering snails to a French restaurant.

He's pulled over for having a broken tail light and before the officer lets him go he asks "what's in this truck anyway?"

Escargot.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AyoRobo
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a snail on a ship?

A snailor

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/uncandy1965
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a snail that gets around a lot?

Escar-ho.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JangoJake
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a snail that’s lost its car?

An es-car-go

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MansNotHot772
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you do when you see two snails boxing?

Nothing, you gotta let β€˜em slug it out.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/r00ski5
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the difference between a slug and a snail?

Snails are better shells men.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ConstableBrew
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I thought I’d try snail racing

My tactic was if I take the shells off, they’ll be lighter and quicker,

All it did was make them a bit sluggish

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/amywit16
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the snail paint a big red S on the side of his race car?

Because he wanted to hear everyone say "Look at that S car go!".

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lisajean1234
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2020
🚨︎ report
My daughter: What species of snail is this?

Me: Species is cargo.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HateGettingGold
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Got arrested for throwing NaCl at snails...

As-salt with a deadly weapon?

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/streaks26
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a snail in the Navy?

A Snailor

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call an evicted snail?

A slug.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zerohero83
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Felt bad for that garden snail after he lost his shell..

Poor guy has been sluggish ever since.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PrisonMike1111
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2020
🚨︎ report
What's a snail on a boat?

A snailor

πŸ‘︎ 42
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Nikolas_101
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2020
🚨︎ report
The snail left his shell at home.

He was feeling sluggish the rest of the day.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him faster. Unfortunately, it just seems to have made him sluggish.
πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hughdman
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a snail on a boat

A snailer.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Yacoubtheprince
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Where do you find a giant snail

At the end of a giants finger

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/les_oueff
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Why don't Americans like snails ?

Because they like fast food

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the snail paint an S on his car?

So when he sped past people they would say "look at that S car go"

πŸ‘︎ 93
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/akien0222
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
🚨︎ report
I met a French guy at my interpreter-training class, we were having conversation about food. And suddenly he said, I like snails.. Why don't Americans eat snails? I was thinking for a second and replied

Because... maybe they like fast food

πŸ‘︎ 184
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AzorChiles
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do the people on diet eat snails?

Because they try to avoid fast food

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the snail say while riding on the turtles back?

Wheeeeeeeee!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/QuandaryOfRed
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Confused snail

I went to get my mail and saw a snail chewing an envelope.

I thought "Poor guy is confused".

So I picked him up and said "No, stupid. Lettuce. Not letters. Lettuce".

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/karma_dumpster
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the snail say to his voice activated vehicle when it asked him if he was ready to go for a drive

Yes car go

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/absurd-bird-turd
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do the French πŸ‡«πŸ‡· eat so many snails 🐌

They don’t like fast food

πŸ‘︎ 251
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/UndeadNineKills
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do the French eat snails?

They don’t like fast food!!

πŸ‘︎ 45
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yashrajt
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2020
🚨︎ report

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