What do you call a dead Gopher?

Just fur. It doesn't go anymore.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 10
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/mind967
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
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๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/redditsrichter
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 03 2018
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My friend wanted to dig an underground tunnel, I told him...

Gopher it

๐Ÿ‘︎ 17
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Subscribe_to_Sam24
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 18 2020
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My friend wanted to cosplay for Groundhog's Day.

I told him to gopher it.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Lime92
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
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A sore neck was the inspiration for my wife and I to make up this joke together...

A man was telling his friend that his neck was sore. His friend asked him, โ€œwhat happenedโ€? The man said that varmints had been tearing up his yard and that he had been spending hours digging through the dirt trying to repair the damage. His friend says, โ€œgo for massage and that should take care of the problemโ€.

A couple of days pass and the two meet up again. The friend asked the man, โ€œhow did it go?โ€ The man says, โ€œwell, I have to tell you, they are hard to catch, but once you get ahold of them and get started, those gophers sure seem to like their massageโ€.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/jdinmd
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 28 2020
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A rodent has dreams of winning American Idol. His father says

โ€œGopher it sonโ€.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 19
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/KarateChop231
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 19 2019
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My uncle is something else

So my uncle picked me up from my boyfriends after work tonight, and asked how my day went. I explained to him that there was a snake and one of the dogs I take care of was protecting me and trying to warn me about said snake. This is how everything went down:

Uncle: it was probably a gopher snake.

Me: very true. We had a lot of them in Texas so Iโ€™m not too worried.

Uncle: you know, thatโ€™s how you ask for it.

Me: what do you mean?

Uncle: when you ask for something to eat you say โ€˜I could GO-PHER snake right about nowโ€™.

Needless to say we finished the ride with more horrid dad jokes.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/yjohnson259
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 24 2019
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My husbandโ€™s adding to his stash of dad jokes for our future childrenโ€”hereโ€™s an especially eye-rolling example when we were walking back from class today.

I noticed a couple of really cute ground squirrels that have started a little community next to the soccer field at our college campus, and pointed them out. This was his reply.

DH: Oh man, theyโ€™re adorable! Can you buy one of those at a pet store? I wonder how much theyโ€™d gopher....

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Lifeinsuitcase
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 24 2018
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