(Advice) What are some squirrel puns...need ideas for retirement party?

One of our support staff is retiring. She's been with us for about 10 years. She is known as "squirrel", her nickname from high school.

What are some puns I can use? I plan to have several small squirrel figures holding "signs" wishing her a happy journey, but want to be creative. This will be for a small room with food, cake, coffee, and good company.

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2015
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How do you get a squirrel to like you ?

You act like a nut

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StewTheMoo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03
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I got into trouble at the park today - people told me to stop arranging the squirrels in order of height

I guess they were critter-sizing me

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jamesallen1977
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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I just got thrown out of my local park for arranging the squirrels by height.

They didn’t like my critter sizing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mycorona69
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2020
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I like squirrels
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πŸ‘€︎ u/note_than62
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
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How do you call a gay squirrel

A nut collector

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kuty5
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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How do you make friends with a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mcvroen
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
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Imade a similar one a few days ago bit i fpund more squirrels
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πŸ‘€︎ u/note_than62
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
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I found what looked like a kitten frozen in my iced-over pool. I dug it out and let it defrost, it turned out to be a big squirrel.

I thought I thaw a pussycat.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SayLittleDoMuch
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
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Why didn’t the squirrel cross the telephone line?

Because it was busy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brodacious-G
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
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How do you gain the trust of a squirrel?

You gotta act like a nut

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tin12345678
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
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I recently moved from California to West Virginia and discovered both have the same squirrels.

Except here, they’re in the freezer and buckshot is a side dish.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
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What do you call a space travelling squirrel?

An astronut.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/picklesoiree
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
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What does a squirrel do when it loses its mind

It's going nuts

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
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Where do Squirrels go during Hurricanes?

It depends on which direction the wind is blowing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dennyitlo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2020
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Why does a squirrel swim on its back?

To keep it's nuts dry

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Onowl
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
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I was thrown out of the local park for arranging the squirrels by height...

Apparently they just can’t take a little critter-sizing!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sjdiver2001
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
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Some squirrels had a party last night

And it goes nuts

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πŸ‘€︎ u/annguyenhus
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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squirrel told me a joke

A Squirrel just told me a Joke, it was Nuts

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sah_nzr
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
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What do gay squirrels eat?

Nutssss

EDIT: yikes, just a joke. No offense to the LGBTQ community.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Minhocycline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
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I'd make fun of what squirrels eat

But it'd be acorn-y joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
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My son asked me how to tell a boy squirrel from a girl squirrel.

I told him to check for nuts.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/YDAQ
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2020
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Did you hear about the new squirrel diet?

It’s just nuts

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boipaul27
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2020
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What is the squirrel internet called?

The nutwork!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Adragontype
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2020
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What does a dog say when it chases a squirrel up to the tree?

Bark!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pho_spaghetti
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2020
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If I could talk to squirrels...

I bet I'd have a pretty nutty conversation.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HyperGameGuy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2019
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Why are squirrels not circus animals?

They don’t like to work for peanuts.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kilokiilo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2020
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'No Nut November' has a whole other meaning for squirrels.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dumboooo_
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
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Why don't squirrels swim in cold water?

The nuts shrink.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/igi23295
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
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A doctor for obese squirrels

is called a nutritionist

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ferkeshu
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
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Female squirrels like to stay close to the males...

... but only 'cause their nuts.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2020
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You were mauled by a gang of squirrels. You want to sue them but no lawyer wants to take your case. Why?

They think you are nuts.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dagoor
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
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I saw plenty of squirrels this morning cycling through the park.

I don't know how they can afford bikes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
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What do cigarettes and squirrels have in common?

They're both perfectly safe until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/areateen
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2019
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Today, I saw a squirrel poop for the first time in my life.

That shit was nuts!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2018
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"How do you get a squirrel to like you?"

"Act like a nut."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PersonWalker
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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I got kicked out of the park for lining squirrels up by height...

They said I was too critter-sizing

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SmellyRapscallion
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
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I got thrown out of my local park after arranging the squirrels by height.....

They didn’t like me critter sizing.

πŸ‘︎ 79
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πŸ‘€︎ u/18021982
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you get a squirrel to like you?

Act like a nut.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Habodude
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
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I got thrown out of the park for measuring the squirrels

I guess they didn't want me critter sizing.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlakeMP
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you get a squirrel to like you?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rosiekaykay
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
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How do you get a squirrel to like you ?

Act like a nut

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2020
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How do you get a squirrel to lien you

You act like a nut

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
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How do you get a squirrel to like you?

Act like a nut.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/danuser8
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
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I got thrown out of my local park after arranging the squirrels by height.

They didn't like me critter sizing.

πŸ‘︎ 74
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WhiskeyChugger
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2020
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb into a tree and act like a nut.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/806bird
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2020
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Why do squirrels swim on their backs?

To keep their nuts dry.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VeryLastBison
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report

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