Got my sisters whole family with my dumb owl joke, with a bonus follow up groaner

Me: I don't wanna alarm anyone, but I think someone in this room might be an owl.

Sisters kids: Who? WHO?

Me: gasp OH NO IT'S WORSE THAN I THOUGHT!

cue 2 hours of 4 small kids running around the house like nutcases screaming who at each other

Sister: You don't get to tell my kids dad jokes anymore. You're not even a dad Me: I'm a faux pas

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AusSpyder
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
🚨︎ report
Possessed by an owl
πŸ‘︎ 103
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Redditor_PC
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23
🚨︎ report
Me: someone we know is possessed by an owl

Friend: who?

Me: [narrows eyes]

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/St_Lambchop
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22
🚨︎ report
You know, owls never go on a date if it's raining.

It's too wet to woo.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Nonions
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
🚨︎ report
what did the owl say when he didnt know someone

who who are you

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/firevixen128
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22
🚨︎ report
The YouTube Owl-gorithm decides hoo to watch πŸ¦‰
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/toebin_
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the most common form of Owl on Owl attack?

Fly-By Hooting.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iamdonloyal
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06
🚨︎ report
Owl jump on the barn-wagon

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Who

... who who?

How did you know I'm an owl! :o

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ramiel01
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
🚨︎ report
Someone told me you sell owls.

Hoo?

(From my daughter. Made me laugh)

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HBDMT
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What's an owl's favorite rock band?

The Who

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Owl to cop: β€œI’d like to report an incident..”

Cop: Giggling β€œDo you know HOO dunnit?” Owl: β€œSir, eight people were murdered” Cop: O_O

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FlintTheDad
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Some consider owls to be symbols of death.

Especially mice.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FlamboyantFlower
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Dad: What does the owl say?

Son: Hoo?

Dad: The owl!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/barrysmitherman
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Why does the owl turn off it's phone at night?

So it doesn't get any hooty calls.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rockstar37
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What External Organ does an Owl use to Breathe?

Who Knows.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Parv05
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
🚨︎ report
If a male owl's sibling adopts a baboon,

then owl be a monkey's uncle.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Iceman838
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Out of all the birds that exist, owls are the most beautiful.

They are quite the head turner.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the call of a Spanish speaking owl?

QuiΓ©n...QuiΓ©n

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I love owls

They’re a hoot

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Maaaaatt214
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Why don't owls fly in a V formation?

Because if they did they'd be vowels.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jmememan
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a bad marksman and a constipated owl?

The marksman can shoot but not hit...

πŸ‘︎ 45
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lolsquid101
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
🚨︎ report
If an owl is like a well read chicken, what is an owl's favorite food?

Book worms.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PeeSeaBayBee
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s an owls favorite city?

Hooston

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toast-Your-Wifi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
🚨︎ report
The rapper Mike Jones and a owl walk into a bar.

Who?

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/heidguy8
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Owl tell you a joke
πŸ‘︎ 119
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/prabeshdai13
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did they arrest the owl?

He's from the hoot

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Slymood
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Just thought of an Owl joke.

It's an absolute hoot.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AntiKlimaktisch
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
🚨︎ report
An owl lost its voice.

It didn't give a hoot.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Aagistar
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Why don’t owls breed in the rain?

Because it’s too wet to woo.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I've got a friend who is an owl, and the other day he told me he's getting married....

So I said, you twit to who?

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Padders_69
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Owl tell you a joke
πŸ‘︎ 563
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HeshamMoSelim
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Imagine how happy Barn Owls were...

When people finally started making barns

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Pet rabbit missing. Last seen carried away by owl

Fowl play suspected.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/assafstone
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I hired a wise owl to watch my kids while I was away...

Turns out they had a bit of a hootinanny.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ph0enixR3born
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Hope everyone has a great time tonight at your owl watching parties!

I hear they are all going to be superb!

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Benacor
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a tuna, a piano, and an owl?

You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna.

πŸ‘︎ 255
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πŸ‘€︎ u/treboRtoN
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2019
🚨︎ report
If a group of owls is called a parliament

Is a group of Russian owls called an Owligarchy?

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Well_Lit_Kiwi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Someone told me that you sound like an owl.

Who?

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/montero65
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I hired an owl to watch my kids.

She's a real hootin' Nanny.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheTipOfAkiBerg
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Who let the owls out?

WHO! WHO! WHO! WHO!

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ggfchl
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2020
🚨︎ report
A group of owls decided to form a rock band...

They're called The Whoo

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/skiinghobbit
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Friend: someone here is possessed by a owl

Me: who

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between a bad marksman and a constipated owl?

One can shoot but can’t hit

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hideandsheep
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
🚨︎ report

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