Got my sisters whole family with my dumb owl joke, with a bonus follow up groaner
Me: I don't wanna alarm anyone, but I think someone in this room might be an owl.
Sisters kids: Who? WHO?
Me: gasp OH NO IT'S WORSE THAN I THOUGHT!
cue 2 hours of 4 small kids running around the house like nutcases screaming who at each other
Sister: You don't get to tell my kids dad jokes anymore. You're not even a dad
Me: I'm a faux pas
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Jan 05 2021
Possessed by an owl
π︎ 103
π
︎ Jan 23 2021
Me: someone we know is possessed by an owl
Friend: who?
Me: [narrows eyes]
π︎ 35
π
︎ Jan 22 2021
You know, owls never go on a date if it's raining.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jan 05 2021
what did the owl say when he didnt know someone
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jan 22 2021
The YouTube Owl-gorithm decides hoo to watch π¦
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 29 2020
What's the most common form of Owl on Owl attack?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jan 06 2021
Owl jump on the barn-wagon
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Who
... who who?
How did you know I'm an owl! :o
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jan 05 2021
Someone told me you sell owls.
Hoo?
(From my daughter. Made me laugh)
π︎ 8
π
︎ Dec 13 2020
What's an owl's favorite rock band?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 12 2020
Owl to cop: βIβd like to report an incident..β
Cop: Giggling βDo you know HOO dunnit?β
Owl: βSir, eight people were murderedβ
Cop: O_O
π︎ 4
π
︎ Dec 22 2020
Some consider owls to be symbols of death.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Dec 07 2020
Dad: What does the owl say?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Dec 04 2020
Why does the owl turn off it's phone at night?
So it doesn't get any hooty calls.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 08 2020
What External Organ does an Owl use to Breathe?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Nov 29 2020
If a male owl's sibling adopts a baboon,
then owl be a monkey's uncle.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Nov 01 2020
Out of all the birds that exist, owls are the most beautiful.
They are quite the head turner.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 29 2020
What is the call of a Spanish speaking owl?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 16 2020
I love owls
π︎ 27
π
︎ Sep 24 2020
Why don't owls fly in a V formation?
Because if they did they'd be vowels.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Oct 13 2020
What's the difference between a bad marksman and a constipated owl?
The marksman can shoot but not hit...
π︎ 45
π
︎ Sep 25 2020
If an owl is like a well read chicken, what is an owl's favorite food?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 30 2020
Whatβs an owls favorite city?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Oct 22 2020
The rapper Mike Jones and a owl walk into a bar.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Aug 30 2020
Owl tell you a joke
π︎ 119
π
︎ May 09 2020
Why did they arrest the owl?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Oct 01 2020
Just thought of an Owl joke.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Aug 17 2020
An owl lost its voice.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jul 29 2020
Why donβt owls breed in the rain?
Because itβs too wet to woo.
π︎ 24
π
︎ Jun 03 2020
I've got a friend who is an owl, and the other day he told me he's getting married....
So I said, you twit to who?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jul 13 2020
Owl tell you a joke
π︎ 563
π
︎ Jul 10 2019
Imagine how happy Barn Owls were...
When people finally started making barns
π︎ 6
π
︎ May 17 2020
Pet rabbit missing. Last seen carried away by owl
π︎ 11
π
︎ May 09 2020
I hired a wise owl to watch my kids while I was away...
Turns out they had a bit of a hootinanny.
π︎ 2
π
︎ May 24 2020
Hope everyone has a great time tonight at your owl watching parties!
I hear they are all going to be superb!
π︎ 13
π
︎ Feb 02 2020
What's the difference between a tuna, a piano, and an owl?
You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna.
π︎ 255
π
︎ May 20 2019
If a group of owls is called a parliament
Is a group of Russian owls called an Owligarchy?
π︎ 11
π
︎ Jan 26 2020
Someone told me that you sound like an owl.
π︎ 24
π
︎ Mar 23 2020
I hired an owl to watch my kids.
She's a real hootin' Nanny.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Apr 02 2020
Who let the owls out?
π︎ 20
π
︎ Feb 11 2020
A group of owls decided to form a rock band...
π︎ 4
π
︎ Apr 01 2020
Friend: someone here is possessed by a owl
π︎ 11
π
︎ Aug 26 2020
Whatβs the difference between a bad marksman and a constipated owl?
One can shoot but canβt hit
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jun 10 2020
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