Like two peas in a (dolphin) pod
πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bo_veytia
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18
🚨︎ report
Why won’t the dolphin apologize for splashing you with water??

Because he did it on porpoise...

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/I_Luv_Dubstep
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08
🚨︎ report
If i could, I’d make sure everyone had a dolphin.

Because everybody needs a porpoise to their life

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Magik160
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a broke Cat in a broke dolphin?

Porpoises

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08
🚨︎ report
Dolphin son: Dad, how did you and mom know that you guys are meant to be together?

Dolphin Dad: When we first met,.....we just clicked.

πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
🚨︎ report
My dad just asked me, β€œDo you know why dolphins swim?”

β€œThey swim for a porpoise”

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DerpCharizard
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
If a group of dolphins is called a pod and a group of crows is called a murder, what is a group of small children called?

Annoying

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2020
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I was wondering what the reason is that dolphins exist...

I mean, what’s their porpoise?

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Marine1992
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Most folks avoid the beach for dolphin hunting

It’s for legal porpoises

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/prollyonthepot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the dolphin say to the three Orcas?

"Whale, whale, whale..."

Edit: Today I was reminded Orcas aren't whales...

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyLatestInvention
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
There's a benefit concert for dolphin conservation at the camping grounds

It's for all in tents and porpoises

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/s7evenofspades
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What kind of self-help books do dolphins read?

Leading a porpoise-driven life

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kroctopus
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
How do whales and dolphins get their news?

Through podcasts

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
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Why was the dolphin depressed?

He had lost his porpoise :'(

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotA_Drug_Dealer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do dolphins feel inadequate sometimes?

They lack porpoise

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/uneeq33
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was the dolphin trainer upset with the surfer?

Because he did it on porpoise.

(Told this to my 4 kids and got 2 groans, one confused look, and an eye-roll)

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mikethejoe
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do dolphins use sleeping bags?

For all in tents and porpoises.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/webguy1975
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend and I were dolphin-back racing when he cut me off.

He did it on porpoise.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/1kings2214
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Evolution is so strange. Dolphins started off as sea creatures, then evolved to have legs, only to eventually return to the sea and lose them.

Kinda defeets the porpoise, don't you think?

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/youthfulcomrade
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Boater Jailed for Killing Dolphin

Boater says it was an accident. Judge ruled that he did it on porpoise.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
🚨︎ report
What does the philosophical dolphin think about?

What is my porpoise

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/seafaringajax
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call conjoined dolphins

Dual porpoise

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the dolphin cross the bay?

To get to the other tide.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/infinitywee
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
🚨︎ report
A guy was having sex in the ocean with his girlfriend when he accidentally came on a dolphin

Turns out He did it on porpoise 🐬

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Johnbobbitlol
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I thought all the dolphins had died, but then I heard there are a lot of them.

I have a renewed sense of porpoise.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/89iroc
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the dolphin have an existential crisis?

He felt his life had no porpoise

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I once had a conversation with a dolphin

We just clicked

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_sup_homie_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I had an amazing chat with a dolphin earlier who I had just met.

We just clicked.

I am sorry. So, so sorry...

πŸ‘︎ 109
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DarkBlueMullet
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Dolphins never make mistakes

Everything they do is on porpoise

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/alphaleo00x
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Swimming with a dolphin is moving with a porpoise
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Arconyx
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the dolphin that bumped into the whale?

It wasn't on porpoise!

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JDDDouble
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
🚨︎ report
We found a dolphin skeleton on the beach, so we ground the bones to make some bread...

It was all-porpoise flour.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2020
🚨︎ report
β€œDue to the rising number of dolphin attacks, we’ve had to outlaw any overnight camping on the beach.”

β€œWe hope the new rule will help, for all in tents and porpoises.”

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/okaypuck
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
🚨︎ report
There's a discount to get into our local aquarium, as long as you're camping, or dressed as a dolphin.

So, to all in tents and porpoises, it's free!

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Why couldn't the dolphin get a life?

He had no porpoise

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/griever48
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a dolphin that never ends?

Dol, cause there’s no β€œfin.”

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PlutenP
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was the near sighted dolphin so sad?

He couldn’t see a porpoise ahead of him.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lvrcerosis
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I have an affliction that causes me to make bad puns about dolphins.

I don't do it on porpoise.

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trailsend85
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know that dolphins have existential crisis too?

They wonder if their life has a porpoise.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThineGreatPotato
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I got attacked by a dolphin

He did it on porpoise.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bradb717
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Nazi dolphin that slapped a woman?

Adolfin Hither

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lazerwild165
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the employed dolphin say to the unemployed dolphin?

At least I have a porpoise.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hinote21
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the dolphins elect a dictator?

Because they wanted to serve a greater porpoise

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FknRepunsel
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I heard Apple are trying to seize the market on immaterial groups of dolphins

I think they called them airpods

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HJMW08
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Therapeutic dolphins

should not be used for medicinal porpoises.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chirpiederp
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Hear that one about the dolphin?

It was a hoot.

:D

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JEJoll
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Evolution is so strange. Dolphins started off as sea creatures, then evolved to have legs, only to eventually return to the sea and lose them.

Kinda defeets the porpoise, don't you think?

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jeremywarne
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you know that dolphins have existential crisis too?

They wonder if their life has a porpoise.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThineGreatPotato
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2020
🚨︎ report

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