Frog pun
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
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Frog
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Not-Lance
πŸ“…︎ May 31
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A frog has his DNA tested...

Turns out, he was part Irish, part British and a tad Pole.

πŸ‘︎ 86
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07
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what happened to the illegally parked frog?

got toad.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ibrahim_MK
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05
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A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller.

He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patty Whack.

"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"

The bank manager looks back at her and says, "It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mama_Bear15
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12
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I have a pet frog who's an aspiring comedian. I asked where he gets his best jokes from...

All he would say on the matter was "Reddit"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/THPSROCKS
πŸ“…︎ May 30
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What will the frog say when you show him this post?

Reddit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BellaLugosisChips
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02
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What kind of sandals do frogs wear?

Open-Toad!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lodiman77
πŸ“…︎ May 27
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What happens when a frog parks illegally?

They get toad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheKillahG
πŸ“…︎ May 08
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What's a frog's favourite type of mechanical fastener?

A rivet

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ro330
πŸ“…︎ May 10
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What happens when a frogs car breaks down?

It has to be toad away.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PowerWonton
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26
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What happened to the frogs car when he parked terribly

It got toad

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lemur124
πŸ“…︎ May 26
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I saw a documentary on frogs recently.

It was absolutely ribbiting.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OracleOfWherever
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24
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What is a frog's favorite beverage?

Croak-a Cola

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Smandero
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29
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What sound does Marie Kondo's pet frog make?

"Rid-v-it . . . Rid-v-it."

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πŸ“…︎ May 19
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What kind of shoes do frogs wear?

Open toad

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fuckleberry__Finn
πŸ“…︎ May 12
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Did you hear about the frog that was double parked outside the club?

He got toad.

It was worth it though... That club was hopping.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tertiam
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13
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What do frogs do when they get a cramp?

Rubit rubit

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πŸ‘€︎ u/THPSROCKS
πŸ“…︎ May 20
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What’s frogs favourite game?

Croak-et

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rehmanvaheedur
πŸ“…︎ May 04
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What was the frog doing jumping off the bridge?

Kermitting suicide.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16
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Frog Parking Only
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Big_Mac12407
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12
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Why do frogs taste like beer?

Because they're full of hops

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bearnakedgamer
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13
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What kind of beer does a frog drink?

Gnatty light.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/noobmoney_rs
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26
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What does a horny frog say?

Rub it

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 08
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What’s a Frog’s favourite food?

Rib Bits.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RogueVogueDino
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24
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What did the frog say when he opened an app on his phone in the library?

"Reddit."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OliPark
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17
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I asked a frog weither it knows what an onomatopoeia is.

"Quack," it responded and jumped away.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kartenhouse
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03
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What do you call a 4-year-old frog?

A toad-ler!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DecIsMuchJuvenile
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02
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Did you hear about the frog who took his own life?

He Kermited suicide.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 16
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What do you call a sad frog?

Unhoppy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boobjobjoe
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22
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My son came in and asked me, "Why did the I turn into a frog?

Because he lives at I-hop.

(He was so proud of his dad joke, he asked me to post it... lol)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Selden007
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16
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What does a mechanical frog say?

RIVET

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CoolBreeze303
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05
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I once knew a frog mortician!

Too bad he croaked...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Buttbits
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04
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What does a two year old call a handsome frog in a tuxedo?

A Heartfrob!

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 16
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What's a frog's favorite drug?

Croakaine.

(Thanks Sam Reigel)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rathabro
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
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Why did the frog drowned itself?

It wanted to Kermit suicide.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xIR0NPULSE
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27
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Frogs shouldn't write cheques.

They always bounce.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoomRulz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13
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So I caught a frog and a toad having a great time in my backyard just the other day.

They were playing a game of croquet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/logansworth
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23
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I know why beer and frog legs go together so well!

It's the HOPS!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BastetLXIX
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25
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What does a frog like to eat at McDonalds

A Mc Ribbit

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gameboy90
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22
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What do you call a frog that’s illegally parked.

Toad

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πŸ‘€︎ u/findvikas
πŸ“…︎ May 06
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What kind of shoes does a frog wear?

Open Toad

πŸ‘︎ 110
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lil-Porker22
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18
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So this frog parked illegally

and ended up getting toad

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IncenseAndIron
πŸ“…︎ May 01
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad

πŸ‘︎ 123
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 22
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A Frog and a Bank Loan

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that the teller's name is Patricia Whack. So he says, "Ms. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation." Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow.

The frog says $30,000.

The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's OK, he knows the bank manager.

Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000. He wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what the heck is this?"

The bank manager looks back at her and says: "It's a knick knack, Patti Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone"

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bstie
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04
🚨︎ report
What happens when a frog’s car breaks down?

It gets toad.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fatrat55673
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24
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A Frog and a Bank Loan

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that the teller's name is Patricia Whack. So he says, "Ms. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation." Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow.

The frog says $30,000.

The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's OK, he knows the bank manager.

Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000. He wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what the heck is this?"

The bank manager looks back at her and says: "It's a knick knack, Patti Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone"

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bstie
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04
🚨︎ report
What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down ??

It gets "toad" away

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gp_11
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18
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What happens when a frog parks illegally

His car gets toad

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/declandrury
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27
🚨︎ report
Did you know frogs taste like beer?

They're full of hops!

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/trashconverters
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13
🚨︎ report

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