Frog pun
πŸ‘οΈŽ 5k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/audurudiekxisizudhx
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 22 2020
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Frog
πŸ‘οΈŽ 22
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Not-Lance
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 31 2021
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I have a pet frog who's an aspiring comedian. I asked where he gets his best jokes from...

All he would say on the matter was "Reddit"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/THPSROCKS
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 30 2021
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A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller.

He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patty Whack.

"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"

The bank manager looks back at her and says, "It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Mama_Bear15
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 12 2021
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What kind of sandals do frogs wear?

Open-Toad!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/lodiman77
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 27 2021
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What happens when a frog parks illegally?

They get toad.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 32
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheKillahG
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 08 2021
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What's a frog's favourite type of mechanical fastener?

A rivet

πŸ‘οΈŽ 27
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ro330
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 10 2021
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What happened to the frogs car when he parked terribly

It got toad

πŸ‘οΈŽ 25
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Lemur124
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 26 2021
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What happens when a frogs car breaks down?

It has to be toad away.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 125
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PowerWonton
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 26 2021
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I saw a documentary on frogs recently.

It was absolutely ribbiting.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/OracleOfWherever
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 24 2021
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What is a frog's favorite beverage?

Croak-a Cola

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Smandero
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 29 2021
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What sound does Marie Kondo's pet frog make?

"Rid-v-it . . . Rid-v-it."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/IntentionallyHuman
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 19 2021
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What kind of shoes do frogs wear?

Open toad

πŸ‘οΈŽ 30
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Fuckleberry__Finn
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 12 2021
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Did you hear about the frog that was double parked outside the club?

He got toad.

It was worth it though... That club was hopping.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 39
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Tertiam
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 13 2021
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What do you call a frog that’s illegally parked.

Toad

πŸ‘οΈŽ 28
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/findvikas
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 06 2021
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What do frogs do when they get a cramp?

Rubit rubit

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/THPSROCKS
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 20 2021
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What’s frogs favourite game?

Croak-et

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/rehmanvaheedur
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 04 2021
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What was the frog doing jumping off the bridge?

Kermitting suicide.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 16 2021
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Frog Parking Only
πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Big_Mac12407
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 12 2021
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Why do frogs taste like beer?

Because they're full of hops

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bearnakedgamer
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 13 2021
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What kind of beer does a frog drink?

Gnatty light.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/noobmoney_rs
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 26 2021
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What does a horny frog say?

Rub it

πŸ‘οΈŽ 19
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Electronic-Stable123
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 08 2021
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What did the frog say when he opened an app on his phone in the library?

"Reddit."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/OliPark
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 17 2021
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What’s a Frog’s favourite food?

Rib Bits.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RogueVogueDino
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 24 2021
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I asked a frog weither it knows what an onomatopoeia is.

"Quack," it responded and jumped away.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Kartenhouse
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 03 2021
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What do you call a 4-year-old frog?

A toad-ler!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DecIsMuchJuvenile
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 02 2021
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Did you hear about the frog who took his own life?

He Kermited suicide.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bort_license_plates
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 16 2021
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What do you call a sad frog?

Unhoppy.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/boobjobjoe
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 22 2021
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My son came in and asked me, "Why did the I turn into a frog?

Because he lives at I-hop.

(He was so proud of his dad joke, he asked me to post it... lol)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 33
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Selden007
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 16 2021
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What does a mechanical frog say?

RIVET

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CoolBreeze303
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 05 2021
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I once knew a frog mortician!

Too bad he croaked...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Buttbits
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 04 2021
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What does a two year old call a handsome frog in a tuxedo?

A Heartfrob!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SansThWildCardFool
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 16 2021
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Why did the frog drowned itself?

It wanted to Kermit suicide.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/xIR0NPULSE
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 27 2021
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What's a frog's favorite drug?

Croakaine.

(Thanks Sam Reigel)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 25
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Rathabro
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 04 2021
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Frogs shouldn't write cheques.

They always bounce.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 33
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DoomRulz
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 13 2021
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So I caught a frog and a toad having a great time in my backyard just the other day.

They were playing a game of croquet.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/logansworth
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 23 2021
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I know why beer and frog legs go together so well!

It's the HOPS!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 36
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BastetLXIX
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 25 2021
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What does a frog like to eat at McDonalds

A Mc Ribbit

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/gameboy90
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 22 2021
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I Went to a Frog Funeral Today

He lived a good life, it was just too bad he croaked so young.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AstrosAtoZ
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 02 2021
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I have no real opinion on frogs or toads.

I'm amphibalent.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 25 2021
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So this frog parked illegally

and ended up getting toad

πŸ‘οΈŽ 28
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/IncenseAndIron
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 01 2021
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What kind of shoes does a frog wear?

Open Toad

πŸ‘οΈŽ 112
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Lil-Porker22
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 18 2021
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad

πŸ‘οΈŽ 121
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/optimistically_happy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 22 2021
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A Frog and a Bank Loan

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that the teller's name is Patricia Whack. So he says, "Ms. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation." Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow.

The frog says $30,000.

The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's OK, he knows the bank manager.

Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000. He wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what the heck is this?"

The bank manager looks back at her and says: "It's a knick knack, Patti Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bstie
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 04 2021
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What happens when a frog’s car breaks down?

It gets toad.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Fatrat55673
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 24 2021
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A Frog and a Bank Loan

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that the teller's name is Patricia Whack. So he says, "Ms. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation." Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow.

The frog says $30,000.

The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's OK, he knows the bank manager.

Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000. He wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what the heck is this?"

The bank manager looks back at her and says: "It's a knick knack, Patti Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bstie
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 04 2021
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What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down ??

It gets "toad" away

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/gp_11
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 18 2021
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What happens when a frog parks illegally

His car gets toad

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/declandrury
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 27 2021
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Did you know frogs taste like beer?

They're full of hops!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/trashconverters
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 13 2021
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