Yoda and Luke are walking through the swamp. Part of their usual training course involves shimmying along a cliff ledge, but today, there’s a long break in the ledge they can’t cross. β€œSomething for this I have.” Yoda says.

He reaches into his bag and takes out a bunch of regular dinner table forks and a roll of duct tape.

He tapes several forks together to make a bridge and lays it down, allowing the two of them to get across.

When they get back to Yoda’s hovel, they find that some creature has chewed a hole in the fence around Yoda’s garden.

β€œSomething I have for this.” Yoda says again. Once again, he takes a bunch of forks out of his bag and, using duct tape, tapes them in to patch the hole.

Yoda and Luke return to Yoda’s home, where Yoda looks through his bag. He’s used all his forks but one, he discovers.

β€œThat’s ok Master." Luke says, wanting to be helpful. β€œI’ll write us a note reminding us to buy more.”

So he writes the note and uses the very last fork to pin it to the bulletin board.

He looks down at Yoda expecting pride, but instead finds a look of horror.

β€œMaster Yoda!” he asks. β€œWhat did I do wrong?”

Yoda replies sagely, β€œA Jedi uses the forks for no ledge and the fence. Never for a

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 04
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Yoda and Luke are walking through the swamp. Part of their usual training course involves shimmying along a cliff ledge, but today, there’s a long break in the ledge they can’t cross... reddit.com/r/Jokes/commen…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FarPrince
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
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I came out of the swamp full of leeches on my last expedition.

I will never do it again, it sucked.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/denisucuuu
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
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Who do you ask for help when your lost in a swamp?

A naviGATOR

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πŸ‘€︎ u/litrickmadthicc
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2019
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What's the best food to eat when you're feeling anxious in a swamp?

marsh-mellows.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_arab_shrek
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
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My town was trying to pave over the swamp in the middle of town for a new Kmart but the large water fowl with long beaks and a large throat pouches would not move...

They were a species of peliwon'ts.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2019
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What do you call a Chinese swamp monster?

Chiang Kai-Shrek

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MemeItUp666
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2018
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Why is a bad Spanish swamp kind of sweet?

Because it's a marsh malo.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ScottDecca
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2018
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What letter makes the best swamp?

W

Because it’s a Bi-U

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StrangeResolve
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2018
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I don’t want to be swamp stressed.

I want to be marsh mellow.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RichNCrispy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2018
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Why do crocodiles never become swamp upper management?

They aren't good dalligators!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoshWithaQ
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2017
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Did you hear about the kidnapping in the Louisiana swamp yesterday?

Good thing he woke up before it got dark...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/headexpl0dy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2015
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What did the swamp say to the marsh?

I like being bayou

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2014
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while watching swamp people...

a hunter stabbed a gator behind his head with a knife. my dad said, "you know what they call that? a pith. and if he does it wrong, he'll really pith that gator off."

completely straight-faced, didn't even chuckle at his own joke. maybe one day I'll be that much of a natural.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vitaminj08
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2014
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The bartender was swamped, so I told the gal standing next to me, β€œLet me bayou a drink.”

She looked at me and said:

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SapperInTexas
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2014
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Doing a Yoda workout is much more difficult than it appears.

Talking backwards is easy, but finding a Jedi that will carry you through a swamp is damn near impossible.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CMMIV
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2019
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Hear about the funny gator, that kept missing his family?

Too swamped with hunters

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πŸ“…︎ May 13 2019
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Drew another puzzle. Post your guesses! imgur.com/MX66hEs
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tiggidytom
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2015
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A couple walk into a hardware store

They ask: are you guys going to get any more evaporative coolers? The employee answers: I’m not sure, we’ve been pretty SWAMPED recently so for now we’re all out.

***Was I the employee in this story? ...yes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zazuachu
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2018
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I wrote quite the Dad joke...

What's the best kind of swamp?

The kind that wants to be bayou.

(HEH)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/givinanlovin
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2015
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Full Beaver

We're on a road trip and my mom, a biologist, says that the moon tonight is a "Full Beaver" which used to mean that it was the last night to set beaver traps before the swamp freezes over.

My dad replies: "Wow, the last time I saw a full beaver was when that girl at the concert had a wardrobe malfunction."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/speederaser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2015
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Dadjoked my dad today.

As we were looking across the creek in their backyard, my dad says "Marsh Cemetery is back over there. You have to be a Marsh to be buried there."

Me, "what if you're a swamp?"

Dad lightly chuckled.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sglider12
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2015
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At work and my manager was reminding us our deadline to complete our computer-based Internet security class...

A coworker asks, "I'm swamped with work this weekβ€” what if I can't get around to it?"

Cutting my manager off I say, "You'll be sleeping with the phishers, see?"

[five second pauseβ€”queue collective groan]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yessayason
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2015
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