Swamp Puns

He reaches into his bag and takes out a bunch of regular dinner table forks and a roll of duct tape.

He tapes several forks together to make a bridge and lays it down, allowing the two of them to get across.

When they get back to Yoda’s hovel, they find that some creature has chewed a hole in the fence around Yoda’s garden.

“Something I have for this.” Yoda says again. Once again, he takes a bunch of forks out of his bag and, using duct tape, tapes them in to patch the hole.

Yoda and Luke return to Yoda’s home, where Yoda looks through his bag. He’s used all his forks but one, he discovers.

“That’s ok Master." Luke says, wanting to be helpful. “I’ll write us a note reminding us to buy more.”

So he writes the note and uses the very last fork to pin it to the bulletin board.

He looks down at Yoda expecting pride, but instead finds a look of horror.

“Master Yoda!” he asks. “What did I do wrong?”

Yoda replies sagely, “A Jedi uses the forks for no ledge and the fence. Never for a tack!”

Because he was under marshal law

The creature from the black legume!

A navi-gator.

A naviGATOR

Chiang Kai-Shrek

marsh-mellows.

They were a species of peliwon'ts.

Because it's a marsh malo.

W

Because it’s a Bi-U

I want to be marsh mellow.

They aren't good dalligators!

Good thing he woke up before it got dark...

I like being bayou

a hunter stabbed a gator behind his head with a knife. my dad said, "you know what they call that? a pith. and if he does it wrong, he'll really pith that gator off."

completely straight-faced, didn't even chuckle at his own joke. maybe one day I'll be that much of a natural.

Dwayne the swamp!

...you have to stop and ask yourself what you’re wading for...

She looked at me and said:

I've been swamped!

Talking backwards is easy, but finding a Jedi that will carry you through a swamp is damn near impossible.

Too swamped with hunters

They ask: are you guys going to get any more evaporative coolers? The employee answers: I’m not sure, we’ve been pretty SWAMPED recently so for now we’re all out.

***Was I the employee in this story? ...yes

What's the best kind of swamp?

The kind that wants to be bayou.

(HEH)

We're on a road trip and my mom, a biologist, says that the moon tonight is a "Full Beaver" which used to mean that it was the last night to set beaver traps before the swamp freezes over.

My dad replies: "Wow, the last time I saw a full beaver was when that girl at the concert had a wardrobe malfunction."

A coworker asks, "I'm swamped with work this week— what if I can't get around to it?"

Cutting my manager off I say, "You'll be sleeping with the phishers, see?"

[five second pause—queue collective groan]

Context: I work at an aerospace company. There are two airlines that just contacted Us for work cost estimates: Lion Air and TigerAir. Designer: "I'm swamped with this Lion Air quote, I'll have to push Tiger's to tomorrow..." Manager: "Lions, tigers, and Baers, oh my!" (Baer is a private charter airline) He stood in the corner after that as we groaned.