I asked my daughter if she had taken a bath yet and sarcastically she says yeah, so I tell her to take another one.
Have you taken a bath lately?
Why is there one missing?
I made this pun and I got 23 downvotes before it was taken down by the mods. It was totally worth it lmfao
My son has recently taken up an interest in music. We're constantly going back and forth trying to stump the other with trivia. He thought he had me when he chorused, "Hey, dad, what genre are national anthems?!" I laughed, "That's easy!"
The New Kids on The Block (taken in Bolingbroke, ON)
Make Band Names Edible (Taken Way Too Seriously). You’re welcome.
"The Road you've taken has been paved by your own decisions"
My wife has been taking a course in advanced electrics and it's taken over her life. Everything she says these days concerns resistors, transformers, circuitry, voltage, ampage etc. All fucking day long, I've tried explaining to her it's driving a wedge between us, but she won't listen to reason.
She just buries her head in the sand like an off switch.
Does anyone know if it's possible to have a skin graft taken from a buttock to donate to someone who isn't a relative?
My grandson was taken to the hospital because he swallowed a $5 bill
I've taken up a new hobby. Shooting arrows at paintings.
Who knew artery could be so relaxing.
Ever since the Death Star blew up, Anakin has taken to the NY Stock Exchange
A man is being taken to the gallows for his execution. The executioner asked if he had any last requests, and he asked for a high five.
The executioner left him hanging.
My post about chain link got reported and taken down
I guess someone took a-fence
Can an administrator tell me why my post was taken down?
Because my fence has fallen down.
Some bastard has taken my festive German fruit bread
My buddy Jerry had to get taken to the hospital, unfortunately it looked like he needed to be operated on. He was unconscious and when he came to, he asked “what’s going to happen, am I going to be alright?”
COVID-19 is not a joke and should be taken seriously
A former patient was so brain damaged afterwards that he wrongly believed he'd won an election that he actually lost by 7 million votes.
I've taken up online yoga since the COVID-19 outbreak started.
It helps me namaste at home.
Taken from Cursed Comments
I just got my picture taken with REM
A hungry traveller stopped at a monastery and was taken to the kitchen where there was a brother frying chips.
"Are you the friar?" he asked.
The brother replied, "No, I'm the chip monk".
Had to have blood taken today. Staff tried to put needle in but didn't go into the blood vessel.
So since it didn't go in the vein, it was in vain
Taken from cursed comments, thought it might fit here
This is going to be the first year that I haven't taken a vacation in Paris, because of the pandemic.
Usually it is due to lack of money
What do you call a cow who got his phone taken away?
This whole subreddit has been taken over by puns, it's like there's a pundemic
My kids have taken to playing indoor skirmish, throwing Scrabble tiles at each other.
Is all fun and games until someone loses an "i".
The wife's mother was taken ill...
So I swiftly rushed off to find a pen and paper to write for an ambulance.
I was so scared I might get taken by this van
I'll never forget when my dad told me, "Find yourself a girl with an embarrassing tattoo and try to convince her to marry you!” A little taken aback, I asked him what he meant. He explained...
“She knows how to make bad decisions and stick by them!"
To keep fit, I’ve taken up quiet tennis.
It’s like regular tennis, but without the racquet.
Visiting my parents for the first time since COVID. He has taken up cropdusting people and proclaiming, "Surprise health check." To make sure you can smell and/or taste still.
Sorry not a witty one-liner but peak of dad humor.
Azad Khan, a chef in a local Indian restaurant, overstretched and fell headlong into a vat of hot curry. An ambulance was quickly at the scene and he was taken to hospital.
Fortunately he is alive but is still in a korma.
Can someone help me with this crossword puzzle? 7 letters, starts with R, clue is "Taken away from original place or position"
In my downtime, I've taken to making sleepwear for my pets.
They are the cat's pajamas.
Just found out my favorite foot fetish website was taken down
Turns out they had counterfeiting charges against them
Man UFO Israel you can see they are caught on tape. (Caught on tape is taken from a post from this r/ but I don't remember u/ name from 2018)
I knew a drug addict that was so desperate for a high he snorted curry powder. Got really ill and taken to hospital.
He was put in an induced korma.
What did Archimedes's girlfriend told him when he hadn't taken bath for several days?
I broke my hand last week, at the hospital thinking it was permanently damaged, I asked the Doctor if I’d be able to play guitar. He replied “Yes, after you’ve taken time to heal”
I was ecstatic, I’ve always wanted to know how to play.
In Despicable Me, why does Kyle always look so taken care of?
Taken off laugh support due to coffin fits
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