You seen the ad campaign trying to get people to adopt dachshunds?

β€œGet a long, little doggy.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/whomikehidden
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2021
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Why did the cowboy adopt a Dachshund?

He wanted to get a long little doggie

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πŸ‘€︎ u/J3ST3RR
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2021
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A detective couple adopts a teenager who turns out to be a pyromaniac.

After spending a few days at a detective convention, they come home to find their house burned to the ground. "What do you think caused this?" One asked the other. The other just sighed and replied "It was most likely ourson (arson)."

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
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Is it the time to adopt glass coffins?

remains to be seen!

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/malhosainy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
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If a male owl's sibling adopts a baboon,

then owl be a monkey's uncle.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Iceman838
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
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What did the skeleton say to his wife when he wanted to adopt a child?

I have some bones to pick with you.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Doomage007
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
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Never adopt a dog from a blacksmith.

We did, and within an hour he'd made a bolt for the door

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Baconlessness
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
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Why do Chinese couples adopt caucasian children?

Because two Wongs don’t make a White

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dose172
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2020
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A friend of mine asked me to adopt some baby cows, and I agreed.

What can I say, I’m always willing to raise the steaks.

πŸ‘︎ 103
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DifferentNoodles
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2019
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My son suggested to my parents that they should adopt twin girls. I said,

"Do you want aunts? Cause that's how you get aunts!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dlordcletus
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
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If a transgender adopts a child, he/she will become transparent.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KnightRadiant17
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2018
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A cowboy was looking to adopt a dog, so he got a dachshund

He got a long little doggie.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Advnchur
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2019
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My wife and I decided to adopt a kid from Germany but all he would talk about is sausages...

What a brat.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2019
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I took my daughter to adopt a cat at the shelter. I was surprised we had to sign an itemized legal contract with expected costs. When I told the clerk I thought rescuing a cat would be free...

She told me ”Dad, If you want a cat, you should expect a fee line.” I’m so proud!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tarynxm
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2019
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I wish someone adopts my grades.

I can't raise them on my own.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sagarkaniche
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2019
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My city has developed an "Adopt a Highway" program...

They wouldn't allow me to adopt easy street...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2019
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If you adopt a child, can you still tell dad jokes?

Yes, but they are not that original.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sleepynotsleazy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2017
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My dad adopts an alter ego any time he farts

He starts shadow boxing and proclaiming he is "Gaseous Clay" and "he is the greatest"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jty87
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2016
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My roommate knows I have sleep trouble and want to adopt a dog....

Told me the only dog I need is a sleep lab

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2016
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Why did the cowboy adopt a dachshund?

Someone told him to β€œget along little doggie”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CptLeelooSattler
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
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What did the skeleton say to his wife when he wanted to adopt a child?

I've got some bones to pick with you.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Doomage007
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
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Why'd the cowboy adopt a daschund?

To get a long little doggie.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OhioTry
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
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Why did the cowboy adopt a Dachshund?

He wanted to get a long little doggie

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MilPens
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2018
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Why did the cowboy adopt a miniature dachshund?

Because he wanted to get a long lil doggie.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chickinkyiv
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2017
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