I asked my friend, Nick, if he had 5 cents I could borrow.
ποΈ 2
π
οΈ Dec 26 2020
I asked Rick Astley to let me borrow his copy of the movie UP.
He said he'd never give it to me.
ποΈ 3
π
οΈ Dec 08 2020
When you borrow a chair
I borrowed my daughter's desk chair for about ten minutes earlier today. As I was bringing it back I said "They say when you borrow someone's car you should return it with a full tank of gas..."
It took her about 3 seconds to reply "Nooooo! Did you fart in my chair?"
ποΈ 76
π
οΈ Oct 18 2020
I crack bad jokes about having to borrow my parents old clothes because my job doesn't pay well...
What can I say? I've got my father's jeans.
ποΈ 18
π
οΈ Oct 28 2020
If someone can borrow me some chromosomes,
ποΈ 14
π
οΈ Sep 22 2020
What did Ryu tell Ken when he asked if he could borrow ten bucks?
ποΈ 6
π
οΈ Oct 01 2020
I asked my Indian neighbour if I could borrow some bread...
ποΈ 7
π
οΈ Aug 20 2020
I could borrow the step-stool from my mom, OR i could go buy something taller.
ποΈ 5
π
οΈ Jul 13 2020
Chris: Hey can I borrow a ten?
Kristen: Sure!
Christen: thank you
Kris: Anytime
ποΈ 12k
π
οΈ Jun 15 2019
I had to borrow my friendβs trumpet because I sounded too good on my own, and people would be jealous!
I didnβt want to toot my own horn.
ποΈ 8
π
οΈ Jun 23 2020
There are reports that, because of the covid outbreak, Rick Astley is hoarding copies of a 2009 Pixar film, and all albums by a southern metal band from New Orleans. He is not allowing anyone to borrow them. It's also said that Mr. Astley is refusing to go out and purchase cake for others.
To summarize:
He's never gonna give you Up
Never gonna lend you Down
Never gonna run around, and dessert you.
ποΈ 12
π
οΈ Mar 23 2020
If I were a trumpet player I would constantly borrow other people's trumpets.
I'd hate to toot my own horn.
ποΈ 7k
π
οΈ Sep 02 2018
My son borrows money from me every week, so I told him, βI donβt think you understand the seriousness of your debt situation.β
He said, βOh please. You should really give me a bit more credit.β
ποΈ 6
π
οΈ Mar 19 2020
Can I borrow your butt?
ποΈ 14
π
οΈ Apr 06 2020
So today I asked my wife if she knew of any krutches I could borrow for the upcoming office party.
Her: what are you supposed to be dressed up as?
Me: a walking dad joke.
Her: ...?
Me: I'd be kind of lame.
ποΈ 189
π
οΈ Oct 29 2019
My friends never let me borrow money for arcade games at the roller rink
ποΈ 6
π
οΈ Apr 09 2020
We were at the library when my mate asked "Hey, could I borrow your book mark?"
I got mad and walked out. After 3 years of being college flatmates, he doesn't even know my name is Tom.
ποΈ 6
π
οΈ Apr 09 2020
If your girlfriend borrows your sweater forever
ποΈ 3
π
οΈ Mar 05 2020
"Hey Son, thanks for letting me borrow your car. By the way I got some water in the carburator." "Where's my car?"
ποΈ 9
π
οΈ Feb 12 2020
A man who makes tie dye shirts was trying to borrow money to expand his small business. While filling out the paperwork, he had a heart attack and collapsed, spilling bottles of colored dye all over his documents.
The poor man dyed a loan.
ποΈ 9
π
οΈ Nov 26 2019
"What car do you have, Pierre? Can I borrow it?"
ποΈ 5
π
οΈ Dec 03 2019
I was out of herbs while cooking dinner, so I went to ask my neighbor if I could borrow some.
When she opened the door, I said, "Don't worry; I'll only take a little bit of your thyme."
ποΈ 51
π
οΈ Jun 05 2019
I asked my daughter if I could borrow a newspaper.
"This is the 21st century" she said. "We don't waste money on newspapers. Here, use my iPad".
I can tell you this... That fly never knew what hit him...
ποΈ 13
π
οΈ Sep 19 2019
My dad let me borrow his 2010 Saab and told me to make sure to fill it with Premium...
imgur.com/IqjEFiP
ποΈ 3k
π
οΈ Nov 22 2013
I asked Rick Astley if I could borrow one of his favorite pixar movies,
He told me, "I'm never going to give you Up."
ποΈ 5
π
οΈ Aug 15 2019
My friend Lara always borrows my hair brush without my permission.
ποΈ 5
π
οΈ Oct 22 2018
Rick Astley once called me to borrow all my Pixar DVDs..
I told him "You can have DVDs for Cars, Monsters Inc, Finding Nemo but I am never gonna give you UP!"
ποΈ 76
π
οΈ Jul 12 2018
Mom: I'm going to run down to my cousin's house. She needs to borrow the car.
Dad: If she needs the car, maybe you should drive there.
ποΈ 1k
π
οΈ Dec 31 2015
I asked my dad if I could borrow some money...
He handed me a penny and said, "It's the least I can do."
ποΈ 21
π
οΈ Jul 14 2018
Hey, can I borrow a ten?
Dad: Sure, as long as itβs not my wife!
ποΈ 2
π
οΈ Jun 16 2019
Yesterday my neighbor asked to borrow my copy of the movie βItβ. I proceeded to beat him up. My wife asked me why the hell I would beat him up.
I told her he was asking for It.
ποΈ 6
π
οΈ Jan 11 2019
Wanted to measure my height with a tape measure but couldn't do it alone. "Dad, can I borrow you for a minute?"
"Sure, as long as you give me back"
ποΈ 1k
π
οΈ Jul 12 2014
I wanted to borrow some money but I was aloan
ποΈ 5
π
οΈ May 21 2018
I asked my friend, Nick, if he had 5 cents I could borrow. But he was Nicholas.
ποΈ 7
π
οΈ Apr 26 2020
Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Disney collection...
Except for the movie Up. He's never gonna give you Up.
ποΈ 71
π
οΈ Apr 09 2020
Why should you never ask Rick Astley to borrow his Pixar collection?
Because heβs never gonna give you βUp.β
ποΈ 26
π
οΈ May 19 2020
Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection, except for one.
Heβs never gonna give you Up.
ποΈ 29
π
οΈ Mar 24 2020
CHRIS: hey,can I borrow a ten?
KRISTEN: sure.
CHRISTEN: thank you.
KRIS: you're welcome.
ποΈ 16
π
οΈ Feb 05 2020
Rick Astley will let you borrow any of his movies except for one...
Heβs never gonna give you Up
ποΈ 3
π
οΈ Feb 06 2020
Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection, except one.
He's never gonna give you Up
ποΈ 6
π
οΈ Jan 13 2020
Rick astley will let you borrow any movie from is Pixar collection. Except one.
He's never gonna give you up
ποΈ 36
π
οΈ Jun 22 2019
Rick Astley will let you borrow most of his pixar movies,
But he's never gonna give you up.
ποΈ 14
π
οΈ Jun 30 2019
You can borrow just about any Disney/Pixar movie from Rick Astley... all but one:
Heβs never gonna give you Up.
ποΈ 11
π
οΈ Feb 09 2019
I asked my dad if I could borrow some protein powder
He said there was no whey
ποΈ 19
π
οΈ Sep 21 2018
Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection except one...
...he's never gonna give you Up.
ποΈ 20
π
οΈ Jul 27 2018
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