A blonde goes into a church and asks the minister, "How much does it cost to rent a church singing group?"He said,"Do you mean a choir?"
She said "Fine... How much does it cost to acquire a church singing group?"
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︎ Dec 05 2020
Me: "How much is the rent for this beautiful apartment?"
"Sir!! This is a liquor store "
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︎ Mar 10 2021
When I was a poor, struggling actor, I had to take a job getting spanked in a BDSM film just to pay the rent...
...yes, I was really strapped for cash back then.
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︎ Mar 11 2021
Donβt ever go to the local mountains and try to rent skis.
You can only get snowbored.
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︎ Apr 02 2021
What do you call a guy who rents out his router?
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︎ Mar 09 2021
Someone asked me if I knew where they could rent a 10 passenger van
I said I know where to rent the van but they had to find the passengers themselves.
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︎ Feb 28 2021
Our landlord knocked on our door today and said that if we didn't pay rent, they'd turn off the heater tomorrow
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︎ Dec 03 2020
Hippie gets 3 months late on rent...So the landlord knocks on his door to let him know heβs being evicted
He opens the door and tells him βNamasteβ.
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︎ Dec 25 2020
I keep asking my flatmate to pay his rent
And he keeps turning sideways to avoid me
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︎ Nov 05 2020
Rick Astley rents the movie Up from the rental store, 3 weeks later he gets a call from the rental store employees saying that his rental is 3 weeks overdue, what does Rick Astley say?
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︎ Jul 08 2020
How many ants does it take to rent a house?
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︎ Jul 05 2020
My neighbour and I became good friends, so we decided to rent a space together to park our cars.
We have....a lot in common.
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︎ May 25 2020
What is it called when someone rents a camp from the Boy Scouts for half a week?
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︎ Jun 17 2020
I was trying to get the rent for this month together, but my wife kept showing me clips from 60 Minutes...
I should have known she'd try to Stahl...
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︎ Apr 02 2020
A buddy of mine only rents his apartments out to nuns.
Guess you could say he has a Sister complex...
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︎ Mar 31 2020
Why can nine ants rent an apartment for free?
Because there not tenants.
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︎ Jul 05 2019
The envelope to our landlord with rent cheques
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︎ Apr 16 2018
I went into this video shop, and the man asked if Iβd like to rent Batman Forever.
I said "No, just for the night."
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︎ Jun 06 2018
What's the difference between a baby frog and a moths rent?
One's a tadpole, and the other is a pad toll.
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︎ Jul 23 2019
How many insects do you need to rent out an apartment?
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︎ Feb 20 2019
Being uncomfortable with any physical contact, I decided to rent the book βHow to Hugβ from the library.
Turns out it was Volume 6 of an old encyclopedia.
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︎ Jun 20 2018
Why shouldnβt you rent your home to a guy name Kevin?
Cause he wonβt pay Durent
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︎ Apr 16 2019
I can't pay the rent...
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︎ Jan 13 2019
My woodwind instrument couldn't afford to pay the rent.
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︎ Aug 20 2018
If you want to rent reading material, do you have to book it first?
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︎ Dec 02 2018
Why couldn't the art forger pay his rent?
Because he didn't make any Monet.
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︎ Apr 24 2018
I work at a foster care agency with a rent to own policy...
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︎ Sep 18 2018
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︎ Mar 14 2017
My wife and sister in law taking about rent.
Wife: You can just pay us $360, since it's half of the mortgage.
SIL: How about we make it $400, I like round numbers.
Me: 360 is a round number.
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︎ Dec 07 2016
Is the solar systems rent out of this world?
I heard space is expansive
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︎ Dec 14 2017
What do you call someone who wants to rent your bathroom?
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︎ Dec 13 2014
Why do landlords like to rent their storefronts to Chinese restaurants?
Because they're lo mein tenants.
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︎ Mar 11 2015
Bird houses for rent
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︎ Jan 12 2015
I went into a church and asked the minister how much it would cost to rent a church singing group.
He asked, "do you mean a choir?"
I said, "OK, fine, then how much does it cost to acquire a church singing group?"
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︎ Dec 05 2020
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