A blonde goes into a church and asks the minister, "How much does it cost to rent a church singing group?"He said,"Do you mean a choir?"

She said "Fine... How much does it cost to acquire a church singing group?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
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Me: "How much is the rent for this beautiful apartment?"

"Sir!! This is a liquor store "

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2021
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When I was a poor, struggling actor, I had to take a job getting spanked in a BDSM film just to pay the rent...

...yes, I was really strapped for cash back then.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2021
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Don’t ever go to the local mountains and try to rent skis.

You can only get snowbored.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/7reddituser
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2021
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What do you call a guy who rents out his router?

A lanlord

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tightaperture
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
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Someone asked me if I knew where they could rent a 10 passenger van

I said I know where to rent the van but they had to find the passengers themselves.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/otherbanana1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2021
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Our landlord knocked on our door today and said that if we didn't pay rent, they'd turn off the heater tomorrow

It was our last warming.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
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Hippie gets 3 months late on rent...So the landlord knocks on his door to let him know he’s being evicted

He opens the door and tells him β€œNamaste”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boobaloo222
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
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I keep asking my flatmate to pay his rent

And he keeps turning sideways to avoid me

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fuqers
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
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Rick Astley rents the movie Up from the rental store, 3 weeks later he gets a call from the rental store employees saying that his rental is 3 weeks overdue, what does Rick Astley say?

Never gonna give you Up!

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
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How many ants does it take to rent a house?

Tenants!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cmndrshprd
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
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My neighbour and I became good friends, so we decided to rent a space together to park our cars.

We have....a lot in common.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
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What is it called when someone rents a camp from the Boy Scouts for half a week?

A four de lease

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hfoste1380
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
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I was trying to get the rent for this month together, but my wife kept showing me clips from 60 Minutes...

I should have known she'd try to Stahl...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2020
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A buddy of mine only rents his apartments out to nuns.

Guess you could say he has a Sister complex...

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2020
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Why can nine ants rent an apartment for free?

Because there not tenants.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HazyDayZ420
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
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The envelope to our landlord with rent cheques
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lan_chop
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2018
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I went into this video shop, and the man asked if I’d like to rent Batman Forever.

I said "No, just for the night."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thewargingned
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2018
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What's the difference between a baby frog and a moths rent?

One's a tadpole, and the other is a pad toll.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PlloiJavex
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2019
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How many insects do you need to rent out an apartment?

Ten-Ants

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ScotchRichie
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2019
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Being uncomfortable with any physical contact, I decided to rent the book β€œHow to Hug” from the library.

Turns out it was Volume 6 of an old encyclopedia.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2018
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Why shouldn’t you rent your home to a guy name Kevin?

Cause he won’t pay Durent

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πŸ‘€︎ u/A1if
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2019
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I can't pay the rent...

BUT I CAN PAY ATTENTION!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lruF
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2019
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My woodwind instrument couldn't afford to pay the rent.

Now it's a Hoboe.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2018
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If you want to rent reading material, do you have to book it first?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/13megatron13
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2018
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Why couldn't the art forger pay his rent?

Because he didn't make any Monet.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2018
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I work at a foster care agency with a rent to own policy...

Its called wombs to go.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thosjb
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2018
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The rent is too damn high and the circumference is two damn pi. imgur.com/a/F82RZ
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eyl327
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2017
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My wife and sister in law taking about rent.

Wife: You can just pay us $360, since it's half of the mortgage.

SIL: How about we make it $400, I like round numbers.

Me: 360 is a round number.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mustdashgaming
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2016
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Is the solar systems rent out of this world?

I heard space is expansive

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ursppachulli
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2017
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What do you call someone who wants to rent your bathroom?

.... A Lieutenant

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zjaws88
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2014
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Why do landlords like to rent their storefronts to Chinese restaurants?

Because they're lo mein tenants.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/commisaro
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2015
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Bird houses for rent
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bsievers
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2015
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I went into a church and asked the minister how much it would cost to rent a church singing group.

He asked, "do you mean a choir?"

I said, "OK, fine, then how much does it cost to acquire a church singing group?"

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/I-Suck-At-R6Siege
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
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