I tried renting a bounce house yesterday. The cost was twice as much as last year...
That’s inflation for you!
He was renting the Tardis all along
My friend always prefers renting out his apartment to Chinese chefs.
They are usually lo mein tenants.
For some reason, I always have trouble renting trailers.
I can't seem to pull it off without a hitch.
My wife asked me what to do about renting a property to a couple who own a cat.
I shrugged and said, I dunno, urine charge...
My Dad was renting a car
My Dad was in the process of renting a car at the airport when the agent asked if he wanted to upgrade to Sirius™ radio. Without skipping a beat, my dad responded: "No thanks, I think we'll stick with the lighthearted radio today."
It went right over the agent's head.
A blonde goes into a church and asks the minister, "How much does it cost to rent a church singing group?"He said,"Do you mean a choir?"
She said "Fine... How much does it cost to acquire a church singing group?"
Our landlord knocked on our door today and said that if we didn't pay rent, they'd turn off the heater tomorrow
Hippie gets 3 months late on rent...So the landlord knocks on his door to let him know he’s being evicted
He opens the door and tells him “Namaste”.
A sketchy looking guy rented six smoke machines from my shop, so I called the cops.
He must be part of some extreme mist group.
I keep asking my flatmate to pay his rent
And he keeps turning sideways to avoid me
My wife asked me if I wanted to watch Batman Forever on Netflix.
I said, “No, only for the next couple of hours.”
I rented out a room to two beautiful Chinese Women..
They never complain, they keep to themselves and they always pay their rent on time. The only weird thing is they insist on paying me in stir-fry. But all in all, I guess they're pretty lo mein tenants.
Turns out there’s a group of people who believe the earth is just a rented apartment from galactic British overlords
My landlord texted saying we need to meet up and talk about how high my heating bill is.
I replied back: “Sure, my door is always open.”
Rick Astley rents the movie Up from the rental store, 3 weeks later he gets a call from the rental store employees saying that his rental is 3 weeks overdue, what does Rick Astley say?
I rented a car with a wooden engine today.
I tried repeatedly but it just wooden go anywhere.
How many ants does it take to rent a house?
My girlfriend asked if we could have an old movie night and watch “Gaslight”
I told her “we already watched that together, don’t you remember?”
My neighbour and I became good friends, so we decided to rent a space together to park our cars.
We have....a lot in common.
I keep thinking about how fun it would be to get a couple friends and go out to the lake. Maybe rent a pontoon boat.
I dunno, I’ll float the idea by my brother.
How do you request for rented peas?
By saying "Pea-Lease"
(Thats if they rent peas)
How do you make the bugs in your yard pay rent?
What is it called when someone rents a camp from the Boy Scouts for half a week?
I used to work as a chef and I had so many utensils that I rented a unit to keep them all in.
I was trying to get the rent for this month together, but my wife kept showing me clips from 60 Minutes...
I should have known she'd try to Stahl...
A buddy of mine only rents his apartments out to nuns.
Guess you could say he has a Sister complex...
Dad told me this one last night
Alright so yesterday at dinner my mom and dad told me and my sister that they decided that we would indeed drive to Florida and stay there and rent a place for a few months. The home they picked out is in the same community as my grandparents, I am all happy about this except for the part where we have to drive 1000 miles over 15 hours of driving. So anyway after my sister and I ask some questions about the place he says
“did you know alligators can grow up to 15 feet, but most have four”
Why can nine ants rent an apartment for free?
Because there not tenants.
I just saw 10 ants frantically running around my kitchen. I felt bad so I built them a small house.
Now I’m their landlord and I collect rent from my tenants.
The envelope to our landlord with rent cheques
How many insects do you need to rent out an apartment?
I went into this video shop, and the man asked if I’d like to rent Batman Forever.
I said "No, just for the night."
I rented a bulldozer
to get rid of all the small bumps and hills in my garden.
When i was done, it was even worse then before..
I cant even
Happy Halloween!
I love this holiday so much that I can almost forget I won't be able to make rent tomorrow by 1 measly dollar.
The noodles that rented out my rental house were no problem at all.
I guess you could say they were low mein tentants.
Being uncomfortable with any physical contact, I decided to rent the book “How to Hug” from the library.
Turns out it was Volume 6 of an old encyclopedia.
Why do 9 ants get to live in an apartment for free?
Because they're not tenants
Dad, I rented the trailer for just $49.99!!
"You could have bought the entire movie for less than that!"
My woodwind instrument couldn't afford to pay the rent.
If you want to rent reading material, do you have to book it first?
I went into a church and asked the minister how much it would cost to rent a church singing group.
He asked, "do you mean a choir?"
I said, "OK, fine, then how much does it cost to acquire a church singing group?"
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