Condo Puns

He said, “I just...want to live in the present.”

He had an apartment complex.

So I sent my sincerest condo license.

He said he was sad because he used to hate avocados and she used to have many trees. The farm was sold and now they're all gone to make room for condos.

I corrected: avocondos

She just bought a condo, and texted me that the freezer already stopped working. I responded back to her, "That's not cool".

I was asking my parents' permission to go on vacation with my friends at our condo on the coast.

Mom says, "Sure that's fine! That means you get to sleep in the master bedroom for the first time!"

I respond, "Yeah, I probably won't though... I mean that's your bed so I don't think I'd really be... comfortable."

Dad says, "Well then you better not sleep on the kitchen table either!"

A week ago I just purchased a condo. After closing my parents met me at the empty condo, and we had lunch. While waiting for the locksmith to rekey the locks, we moved in a patio loveseat and 1 camping chair, and put them temporarily in the main room for us to sit. Everything else would be moved in the next day.

Locksmith comes, and while he is working on the back door we sit down. My dad turns to me and says "You've got enough money to pay the locksmith." The locksmith pauses and looks at me as I say "Yes". Dad then says:

"I'm proud of you for being able to get this place. And don't worry, I'm sure one day you'll be able to afford furniture."

The locksmith looks uncomfortable and moves to a different door. My dad then just starts laughing uncontrollably. I just stare at him in shock, it was so well delivered. And hey! The locksmith gave me a discount as he felt sorry for me.

We were on vacation this week and went for a walk on a walking path in front of our condo. We walk for maybe a mile or so and stop because we are going to turn around and go back. My wife says "I wonder how far we walked." Without skipping a beat I say "We've walked half way."