Condiment puns.
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︎ Nov 25 2018
Condiments puns
- He said "You walk ahead, I'll ketchup with you."
2."Are you sure?" Asked the cop
"I saw it with mayonnaise"replied the witness.
- The vexed cucumber said "I'm in a pickle right now."
- Oh! And I mustard that this is my first post on Reddit.
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︎ Apr 30 2019
Blue jeans should be considered a condiment
Because every time I put them on, I look like a snack.
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︎ Jun 02 2021
Showing my 2 year old daughter a picture of herself eating a burger and getting condiments all over her face:
"Mayo-Nose! That's what it's called"
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︎ May 31 2021
I saw a news report recently about how a certain thick, white, egg based condiment is secretly being manufactured using horse meat.
The FDA says to listen carefully when you open the jar because the tainted mayo neighs.
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︎ May 25 2021
How did the condiment report to the army?
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︎ May 24 2021
What is a cat's favourite condiment?
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︎ Mar 04 2021
Those small packets of ketchup are here because the big bottles didn't know what a condiment.
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︎ Feb 28 2021
With the holidays near, to set a festive atmosphere at your table, be sure you have a shiny chrome plate to hold your condiment sauce. Why?
Because there is no plate like chrome for the hollandaise.
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︎ Nov 18 2020
Whats a horse's favorite sandwich condiment?
Mayo....cause mayo-neighs.
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︎ Oct 27 2020
What does a condiment wizard perform?
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︎ Jun 09 2020
Whatβs a horseβs favourite condiment?
Mayo-neighs.
Courtesy of my dad.
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︎ Sep 27 2020
Given social distancing regulations, a ton of condiment companies are being forced to cancel July 4th campaigns like sponsored concerts, where they planned to hand out signature color sunglasses to attendees.
Bad idea, Heinz-Sight 2020.
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︎ Jun 26 2020
What condiment needs to go to the restroom the most?
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︎ Jul 10 2020
What kind of condiment works as a laxative?
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︎ May 23 2020
What do you call a funny condiment?
A sauce of endless entertainment.
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︎ May 12 2020
Wife: Remember to practice safe snacks and to use condiments
Me: Baby stop, youβre making me hungry
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︎ Mar 25 2020
I think I found out who invented condiments,
Her name is May Anne Hayes
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︎ Feb 24 2020
What do call a condiment that raises horses?
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︎ Jan 26 2020
I tried to make my own condiments but, the recipes change so fast, it's hard to ketchup.
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︎ Jul 05 2019
What is a greenkeeper's favourite condiment?
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︎ Nov 13 2019
My wife despises a certain condiment
I asked if she had ever heard of the local horse impersonator? That man neighs!
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︎ Sep 15 2018
I don't fear condiments.
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︎ Mar 16 2018
What is a cows and a horses favorite condiment?
Moo-neighs
Thank you, I'll show myself out.
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︎ Jun 09 2019
Where do condiments go when they get sick?
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︎ Feb 01 2019
Why dose nobody tell jokes about condiments
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︎ Apr 07 2019
What's Pac-Mans favorite condiment?
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︎ Jan 09 2019
I make art out of condiments
My latest work is a mustardpiece
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︎ Apr 07 2019
My old man used to think he was hilarious at the McDonaldβs drive thru when the server asked, βAny condiments?β
He always responded, βCompliments? You look very nice today!β
(Yes probably a repost)
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︎ Apr 25 2019
What credit card do you use for buying condiments?
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︎ Oct 05 2018
I love to smother my burger with lots of chunky tomato, onion and garlic condiment...
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︎ May 08 2018
What do you say when the condiment you have with fish and chips goes away?
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︎ Feb 05 2019
When food poisoning breaks out at the Annual Condiments Convention...
"We'll ketchup later but first I mus-turd!"
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︎ Aug 06 2018
What condiment was granted knighthood?
Sir Racha! (Sriracha).
As much as I donβt want to admit it, this is something I came up with (and I am a dad).
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︎ Nov 02 2017
My dog for into the condiments last night
Now I have a Gulden retriever.
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︎ Mar 25 2019
The woman at Subway asked what condiments I wanted. I said everything but mustard.
She said "We don't have butt mustard."
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︎ Feb 13 2019
What do you call a Native American cancer patient with an affinity for Japanese condiments?
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︎ Dec 08 2018
Do you know who is the leader in condiment city?
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︎ Jan 11 2017
I wanted to dress as a condiment for Halloween.
But I couldn't mustard up the courage.
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︎ Nov 01 2015
"We were getting fast food when the lady at the window said, 'Any condiments?' My dad responded, 'Compliments? You look very nice today!'β
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︎ Dec 25 2017
What is a cat's favourite condiment?
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︎ Mar 04 2020
I don't fear condiments...
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︎ Dec 02 2016
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