My wife told me to put ketchup on the shopping list .

Now I can't read anything .

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ivanshu
πŸ“…︎ May 24
🚨︎ report
I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes

Now I have Heinzsight

πŸ‘︎ 70
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/theskyguyuk
πŸ“…︎ May 06
🚨︎ report
I put ketchup in my eyes

in heinzsight, it was a very bad mistake

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Major_Cupcake
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26
🚨︎ report
I got ketchup in my eye.

I learned Heinz site is not always 20/20.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/earth_humanoid
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26
🚨︎ report
Why did the ketchup blush?

Because she saw the salad dressing

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/afterglowsky
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30
🚨︎ report
Why did the ketchup hide his face?

He saw the ranch dressing.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/crossover131
πŸ“…︎ May 21
🚨︎ report
I once told a girl that her body was shaped like a ketchup bottle.

She took it as a condiment.

πŸ‘︎ 82
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πŸ‘€︎ u/avandoorslaer
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14
🚨︎ report
My son said, β€œI accidentally put ketchup in my eye. I should have been more careful.”

I said, β€œThat’s Heinz sight for you.”

πŸ‘︎ 143
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13
🚨︎ report
I smeared some ketchup all over my eyes once.

It was a evil idea in Heinz- sight.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09
🚨︎ report
I regret rubbing ketchup in my eyes

But that’s Heinz sight

πŸ‘︎ 63
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/beej2000
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03
🚨︎ report
What would Walter White be called if he dealt in ketchup instead of meth?

Heinzenburg

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/excalibron
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21
🚨︎ report
Those small packets of ketchup are here because the big bottles didn't know what a condiment.
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CatsCreepMeowt
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28
🚨︎ report
My wife bought store brand ketchup despite the fact that I like Heinz. I threw it out, so now I guess she knows....

....Heinzsight is 20/20

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GhostShadow21
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03
🚨︎ report
What do you call a funnel shaped storm made of ketchup?

A tormato.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jollyflyingcactus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29
🚨︎ report
Ketchup
πŸ‘︎ 202
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/stont753
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
🚨︎ report
My son told me, β€œDad, I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes, and now it burns.”

I said, β€œThat’s Heinz sight for you.”

πŸ‘︎ 449
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I wasn't impressed with the ketchup manufacturer's market research.

They had terrible sauces.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JinTaisa
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23
🚨︎ report
The rock was cooking but forgot the ketchup.
πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrGonarch
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Accidentally I spilt some tomato ketchup in my eye.

In Heinze sight, it was my mistake.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
🚨︎ report
You can use ketchup to tell the future

In Heinzsight you probably can't

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tragicsnow11740
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I decided to rub ketchup in my eyes

In Heinz sight it wasn’t a good idea

πŸ‘︎ 141
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LarryLones
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I can always tell what I should have done as long as I'm looking at ketchup.

Yeah, you could say I have perfect Heinz-site

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/baronvb1123
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did you find a stoned able Sherlock Holmes applying ketchup to your front yard ??

Because he's a high-functioning sauce-your-path

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pardon_the_panj
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
🚨︎ report
If I had known I had ketchup on my fingers, I wouldn't have rubbed my eyes.

Heinzsight's 20/20.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/likeabutterdream
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I accidentally squirted ketchup in my eye

I now have Heinzsight

πŸ‘︎ 51
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I accidentally rubbed ketchup into my eyes

In Heinz sight, I definitely should’ve washed my hands first.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CharlieFoxtrot432
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
🚨︎ report
To save money I made myself a pair of glasses out of 2 old ketchup bottles.

In Heinz-sight I should have just bought a proper pair

πŸ‘︎ 682
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sekearney95
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2019
🚨︎ report
On top of everything else going on this year, I just got ketchup in my eye.

Now I have 2020 Heinzsight.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/klwill1192
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Why does ketchup always have good vision?

Because Heinz's sight is always 20-20.

πŸ‘︎ 132
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ivegot_back
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Ketchup in the eyes
πŸ‘︎ 56
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Radish00
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2020
🚨︎ report
They're guaranteed to help you ketchup on the highway
πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Thecrawsome
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I just squirted ketchup in my eye

In Heinz-sight, it was a bad idea.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PinkShrimpz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I told my kids that ketchup can go on anything.

You know, It’s the least condiment denominator.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Shran_MD
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list...

Now I can't read anything.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyfortaco
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08
🚨︎ report
My wife asked me to put ketchup in the shopping list

Now I can't read anything.

πŸ‘︎ 364
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sm-aug
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13
🚨︎ report
I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes :(

Yeah, now I have Heinzsight.

πŸ‘︎ 67
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HeyThereLinus
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24
🚨︎ report
I regret rubbing eyes with ketchup

But that’s Heinz sight

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/abowlofspicyramen
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29
🚨︎ report
I accidentally got ketchup in my eyes

Now I have heinzsight

πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AllanCD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20
🚨︎ report
My Wife Asked Me To Put Ketchup On The Shopping List

Now I can't read any of it

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JamesiePig22
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11
🚨︎ report
My wife asked me to put Ketchup on the shopping list ..

But now I can't read anything.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Johnny_Two_Timez
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13
🚨︎ report
Before I ducked out to the shops, my wife asked me to put ketchup on the shipping list.

Now I can't read it.

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I smeared some ketchup all over my eyes once.

It was a bad idea in Heinz- sight.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes.

Now I have Heinzsight.

πŸ‘︎ 737
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
🚨︎ report
I once told a girl that her body was shaped like a ketchup bottle.

She took it as a condiment.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/invertedparadoxxx
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I rubbed ketchup in my eyes;

Now I have Heinzsight.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SecureEarth
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2020
🚨︎ report

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