My wife told me to put ketchup on the shopping list .
Now I can't read anything .
π︎ 32
π
︎ May 24 2021
I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes
π︎ 68
π
︎ May 06 2021
I put ketchup in my eyes
in heinzsight, it was a very bad mistake
π︎ 43
π
︎ Apr 26 2021
I got ketchup in my eye.
I learned Heinz site is not always 20/20.
π︎ 29
π
︎ Apr 26 2021
Why did the ketchup hide his face?
He saw the ranch dressing.
π︎ 5
π
︎ May 21 2021
Why did the ketchup blush?
Because she saw the salad dressing
π︎ 10
π
︎ Apr 30 2021
I once told a girl that her body was shaped like a ketchup bottle.
She took it as a condiment.
π︎ 78
π
︎ Mar 14 2021
My son said, βI accidentally put ketchup in my eye. I should have been more careful.β
I said, βThatβs Heinz sight for you.β
π︎ 145
π
︎ Feb 13 2021
I smeared some ketchup all over my eyes once.
It was a evil idea in Heinz- sight.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Mar 09 2021
I regret rubbing ketchup in my eyes
π︎ 60
π
︎ Mar 03 2021
What would Walter White be called if he dealt in ketchup instead of meth?
π︎ 24
π
︎ Mar 21 2021
Those small packets of ketchup are here because the big bottles didn't know what a condiment.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Feb 28 2021
My wife bought store brand ketchup despite the fact that I like Heinz. I threw it out, so now I guess she knows....
π︎ 7
π
︎ Mar 03 2021
What do you call a funnel shaped storm made of ketchup?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jan 29 2021
Ketchup
π︎ 204
π
︎ Oct 09 2020
I wasn't impressed with the ketchup manufacturer's market research.
They had terrible sauces.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Feb 23 2021
My son told me, βDad, I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes, and now it burns.β
I said, βThatβs Heinz sight for you.β
π︎ 455
π
︎ Oct 16 2020
The rock was cooking but forgot the ketchup.
π︎ 22
π
︎ Nov 01 2020
Accidentally I spilt some tomato ketchup in my eye.
In Heinze sight, it was my mistake.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jan 04 2021
You can use ketchup to tell the future
In Heinzsight you probably can't
π︎ 10
π
︎ Dec 07 2020
I decided to rub ketchup in my eyes
In Heinz sight it wasnβt a good idea
π︎ 139
π
︎ Aug 19 2020
I can always tell what I should have done as long as I'm looking at ketchup.
Yeah, you could say I have perfect Heinz-site
π︎ 30
π
︎ Sep 19 2020
Why did you find a stoned able Sherlock Holmes applying ketchup to your front yard ??
Because he's a high-functioning sauce-your-path
π︎ 5
π
︎ Oct 16 2020
Vegans find it hard to use bottled ketchup
It might be allowed on their diet, but they think itβs not ok to βbreak sealβ
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 23 2020
If I had known I had ketchup on my fingers, I wouldn't have rubbed my eyes.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 11 2020
I accidentally squirted ketchup in my eye
π︎ 49
π
︎ Jul 24 2020
I accidentally rubbed ketchup into my eyes
In Heinz sight, I definitely shouldβve washed my hands first.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Sep 07 2020
To save money I made myself a pair of glasses out of 2 old ketchup bottles.
In Heinz-sight I should have just bought a proper pair
π︎ 678
π
︎ Dec 29 2019
On top of everything else going on this year, I just got ketchup in my eye.
Now I have 2020 Heinzsight.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Sep 03 2020
Why does ketchup always have good vision?
Because Heinz's sight is always 20-20.
π︎ 130
π
︎ Dec 12 2019
Ketchup in the eyes
π︎ 60
π
︎ Jan 24 2020
They're guaranteed to help you ketchup on the highway
π︎ 21
π
︎ Mar 08 2020
I just squirted ketchup in my eye
In Heinz-sight, it was a bad idea.
π︎ 31
π
︎ Jan 19 2020
I told my kids that ketchup can go on anything.
You know, Itβs the least condiment denominator.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jun 27 2020
My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list...
Now I can't read anything.
π︎ 8k
π
︎ Feb 08 2021
My wife asked me to put ketchup in the shopping list
Now I can't read anything.
π︎ 364
π
︎ Jan 13 2021
I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes :(
Yeah, now I have Heinzsight.
π︎ 64
π
︎ Feb 24 2021
I regret rubbing eyes with ketchup
π︎ 18
π
︎ Jan 29 2021
I accidentally got ketchup in my eyes
π︎ 36
π
︎ Jan 20 2021
My Wife Asked Me To Put Ketchup On The Shopping List
Now I can't read any of it
π︎ 36
π
︎ Jan 11 2021
My wife asked me to put Ketchup on the shopping list ..
But now I can't read anything.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jan 13 2021
Before I ducked out to the shops, my wife asked me to put ketchup on the shipping list.
π︎ 30
π
︎ Nov 04 2020
I smeared some ketchup all over my eyes once.
It was a bad idea in Heinz- sight.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Jul 10 2020
I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes.
π︎ 736
π
︎ Nov 29 2019
I once told a girl that her body was shaped like a ketchup bottle.
She took it as a condiment.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Mar 14 2020
I rubbed ketchup in my eyes;
π︎ 27
π
︎ Jan 25 2020
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