Why did the hamburger go to the gym?

To get nice buns

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr_Mechatronix
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20
🚨︎ report
How did the hamburger introduce his girlfriend?

Meet Patty.

πŸ‘︎ 59
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iTzbr00tal
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
How Does a Hamburger Introduce His Wife?

Meat Patty

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AstrosAtoZ
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10
🚨︎ report
My Son said that he was saving his Hamburger instead of eating it.

I asked him, "is he thankful for that?"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheWizardInRedd
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19
🚨︎ report
How did the hamburger introduce his wife?

Meet Patty

πŸ‘︎ 63
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
🚨︎ report
A man walks into a restaurant and orders a hamburger. Upon receiving the burger, the man says to the burger, β€œBurger, can you help me with my urinary tract infection?”.

β€œNo”, replies the burger, β€œbut I can tell you you’re going to need an umbrella later.”

β€œOh, sorry”, said the man, β€œI thought you were a meaty urologist”.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CMoy1980
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the hamburger go to the gym?

It wanted better buns

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/flippantteacup
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Burger King hamburger?

Crowned Beef.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shrek_is_russian
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do hamburgers love young people?

They're pro-teen.

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/b0rs
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a hamburger with honey?

A beeschurger

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShinobiKid
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you know why a hot dog bun looks a but like male genitalia and a hamburger bun looks like female genitalia?

Gender Rolls

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Record_layer
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
🚨︎ report
A hamburger walks into a bar and orders a beer.

Bartender: I'm sorry, we don't serve food here.

πŸ‘︎ 92
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NOTLD1990
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Where do people who can’t find their hamburger go?

The lost and ground

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shadar-Kai-Rogue
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I ate an hamburger but it didn't Hamburg.
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Solilupus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Why don't hamburger buns ever get along?

There's always beef between them.

πŸ‘︎ 157
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πŸ‘€︎ u/generalofbread
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2019
🚨︎ report
A helper for hamburgers
πŸ‘︎ 80
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZevireTees
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I work at Walmart and found a bunch of zucchini in with the hamburger.

Talk about squashing some beef

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JeffUhl
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Where do hamburgers go to dance?

The meat-ball.

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
🚨︎ report
An old man placed an order for one hamburger, french fries and a drink. He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing one half in front of his wife.

He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them.

As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them were looking over and whispering.

Obviously, they were thinking, "That poor old couple...all they can afford is one meal for the two of them."

As the man began to eat his fries, a young man came to the table and politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple.

The old man said, they were just fine, they were used to sharing everything.

People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite.

She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.

Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them.

This time the old woman said, "No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything."

Finally, as the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked, "What is it you are waiting for?"

She answered, "THE TEETH!"

πŸ‘︎ 108
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
🚨︎ report
How did the hamburger introduce his girlfriend?

Everyone, meat Patty

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mastrwill
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the hamburger go to the gym?

To get bigger buns

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/smolprincess928
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I went to Raising Caine's and asked for a hamburger.

They said they weren't Able.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jeremysomething
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
🚨︎ report
How do we know hamburgers have high IQs?

They 'loin' fast

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thatwondude83
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Throwing a party with hot dogs and hamburgers? I will 100% go for the hot dog.

I relish the decision every time.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Johnluckpickcard
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2018
🚨︎ report
How does a hamburger introduce his sister?

Meat Patty.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/leohat
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you greet a hamburger?

β€œMeet patty”

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/blueboy9120
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the hamburger start working out?

...to get better buns

EDIT: I got called away to do some actual work before I could add this: I credit Dr. Jason Bull for this, from an episode of Bull, reading from the bag that he got a burger in.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pucker_Factor_10
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
🚨︎ report
The hamburger was losing the race against the hot dog to become the best barbeque meat...

but he mustard the energy to ketchup and win!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/knotshir
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the Hamburger say when he introduced his girlfriend?

Meat Patty!

I hope Grandma jokes are allowed :)

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kentencat
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2019
🚨︎ report
What's a hamburgers daughters name?

Patty

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The-Outsider-2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2019
🚨︎ report
How many hamburgers could the Hamburgerler burgle if the Hamburgerler could burgle hamburgers?

I don't have a punch line, I just wanted a burger.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Amcentee85
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2018
🚨︎ report
Yesterday I went to the local Budhist hamburger joint, and said:

Can you please make me one with everything?

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/deepBlueCheese
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2018
🚨︎ report
How does a hamburger introduces his girlfriend ?

Meet Patty πŸ˜›πŸ€€

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/music_snobbbb
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2019
🚨︎ report
I lost the eating contest with the last hamburger still hanging out of my mouth.

I was so close I could taste it.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2018
🚨︎ report
What does Mr.Hamburger say when introducing his wife?

Meat Patty!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fat_Childs
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2018
🚨︎ report
What colour are hamburgers?

Burgundy!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BunnyKook97
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2018
🚨︎ report
"Dad, could you make me a hamburger?"

"ABRACADABRA! You're a hamburger!"

This is his favorite Dad joke. I learned at a young age to say "Dad, could you cook me a hamburger"

πŸ‘︎ 233
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DapplePony
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2013
🚨︎ report
I just finished writing my first play, a comedy about a steak becoming hamburger. It turned into a bit of a farce.
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CaptWineTeeth
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2017
🚨︎ report
Whats the gender of a Hamburger?

Its PANsexual...

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mizz141
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2018
🚨︎ report
How does a hamburger introduce his wife?

Meet patty

πŸ‘︎ 45
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BasementTenant
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Where do hamburgers go to dance?

The meat-ball.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you introduce a hamburger?

β€œmeet patty”

πŸ‘︎ 90
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πŸ‘€︎ u/blueboy9120
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you introduce a hamburger

Meat Patty

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/j0hnnyj0hns
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2019
🚨︎ report
How does a hamburger introduce his girlfriend?

Meet Patty

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2019
🚨︎ report

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