To get nice buns
I asked him, "is he thankful for that?"
“No”, replies the burger, “but I can tell you you’re going to need an umbrella later.”
“Oh, sorry”, said the man, “I thought you were a meaty urologist”.
Bartender: I'm sorry, we don't serve food here.
The lost and ground
There's always beef between them.
Talk about squashing some beef
He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them.
As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them were looking over and whispering.
Obviously, they were thinking, "That poor old couple...all they can afford is one meal for the two of them."
As the man began to eat his fries, a young man came to the table and politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple.
The old man said, they were just fine, they were used to sharing everything.
People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite.
She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.
Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them.
This time the old woman said, "No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything."
Finally, as the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked, "What is it you are waiting for?"
She answered, "THE TEETH!"
They said they weren't Able.
They 'loin' fast
I relish the decision every time.
...to get better buns
EDIT: I got called away to do some actual work before I could add this: I credit Dr. Jason Bull for this, from an episode of Bull, reading from the bag that he got a burger in.
but he mustard the energy to ketchup and win!
I hope Grandma jokes are allowed :)
I don't have a punch line, I just wanted a burger.
Can you please make me one with everything?
I was so close I could taste it.
"ABRACADABRA! You're a hamburger!"
This is his favorite Dad joke. I learned at a young age to say "Dad, could you cook me a hamburger"
It wanted better buns
Everyone, meat Patty
To get bigger buns