He leads the league in Arby eyes.
A kids meal.
A Hamburglar
They never McSense.
Stake N' Shake!
Until the hotdog mustard up the energy to ketchup, and emerged the clear wiener.
There were lots of Sonic booms that night.
What do you get when a chicken lays it's eggs on the top of a hill?
Egg rolls.
He's a pretty Krafty guy.
Lactose McTolerant
I think I’ll call it Pain D’Express.
What's the fastest food in the world?
Scone
Usain Bolt
“It’s not heavy at all!”
It's called chik-fil-eh?
Gerber King
Cashier: swipes Dad's credit card. hands it back.
Cashier: looks at register. Sir, can I see your card again? It didn't work the first time.
Dad: I'm not wearing a cardigan.
He's calling it McJaguar.
He only had one shop.
...two small breasts, two large thighs, and a left wing.
To which I reply "That's okay, I will lose it eventually"
Me: I guess I have to put the 5 under the 20.
Wife: Why?
Me: The sign says no bills over $20.
I was at work today speaking with a few of my coworkers when we start talking about lunch. Two of my coworkers start talking about fast food restaurants they like going to when:
CW: I try not to eat fast food, but I really can’t help myself sometimes!
Me: I try to eat the slowest food possible, which is why I exclusively eat Tortoises.
CW: Well, all of—
It took them a couple seconds, but when they all looked at me with that “oh my gosh, you said what?” look, it made it all worth it.
Used to hear this all the time from dads as a cashier at a fast food place:
Me: Hi, can I help you?
Dad: No, I don't think anyone can.
My sides.
Taco Braille
One was the fish friar, the other was the chip monk!
At a fast food restaurant, my dad's credit card gets rejected. Not missing a beat, he pulls out another one and says "Here, try this one, I just printed it up in my basement this morning."
Dad: "What did Burger King give to Dairy Queen on their wedding day?" Me: "What?" Dad: "An onion ring"
Cashier: Could you take your top off?
My dad looking incredulous and holding himself somewhat defensively: I beg your pardon!
A Dad At Nearby Table: What is the difference between Dr. Pepper and Mr. Pibb?
(Silence)
Dad: A PhD!
/Good enough for popsicle sticks
Everytime my dad has to go to a fast food place like McDonald's or KFC and he gets to the window to pick up his food he acts all confused and says
"I didn't order this? Where's my extra large pizza with everything on it?"
They either laugh or just stare for a minute
What cold food do you order at a fast food restaurant?
A Brrrrrrger.
Talking to my dad just now..
Me: I don't really have a taste for fast food
Dad: I can take my time getting it, then it won't be fast food
