What is Dracula's least favorite fast food joint?

Stake N' Shake!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21
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The Fast Food Marathon [OC]
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pununciation
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
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The burger was leading the fast food race ...

Until the hotdog mustard up the energy to ketchup, and emerged the clear wiener.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Comprefyingly
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
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A local fast food joint had a grand opening with a fireworks display...

There were lots of Sonic booms that night.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2019
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A man I know brings cheese from home to put on his fast food burgers instead of paying extra.

He's a pretty Krafty guy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nodnarb232001
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2019
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Fast food.

What do you get when a chicken lays it's eggs on the top of a hill?

Egg rolls.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/capngloval
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
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What do you call someone who gets gassy from fast food?

Lactose McTolerant

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πŸ‘€︎ u/We_are_stardust23
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2019
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I was thinking about opening up a French baguette style fast food shop.

I think I’ll call it Pain D’Express.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dipodomys_man
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2019
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Fast food

What's the fastest food in the world?

Scone

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dave_wuz_here
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2019
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What’s Jeffrey Dahmers idea of fast food?

Usain Bolt

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FarmerLarBear
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
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Fast food restaurant takes a few minutes,...bag gets handed over with, β€œSorry about the wait.”

β€œIt’s not heavy at all!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mistermajik2000
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2018
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Did you hear about the credit card for fast food cooks?

It gives them frequent frier miles!

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2018
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What do you call a low-carb fast food restaurant

A no fry zone.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/uneaqs
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2018
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So the Rolling Stones lead singer is planning to merge a fast food chain with a car manufacturer.

He's calling it McJaguar.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/clifwith1f
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2018
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Did you hear about that new fast food chain in Canada?

It's called chik-fil-eh?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dementia_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2017
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What's the most popular fast food place with one year olds?

Gerber King

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πŸ‘€︎ u/homevp
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2017
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Why did Eminem's fast-food franchise fail?

He only had one shop.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/roparom
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2017
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My dad at a fast food place

Cashier: swipes Dad's credit card. hands it back.

Cashier: looks at register. Sir, can I see your card again? It didn't work the first time.

Dad: I'm not wearing a cardigan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thevach
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2013
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"We were getting fast food when the lady at the window said, 'Any condiments?' My dad responded, 'Compliments? You look very nice today!'”
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AshleyJack
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2017
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The teenager at [insert fast food restaurant here] hands me my food and says "Sorry for the wait"

To which I reply "That's okay, I will lose it eventually"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/anarcist69
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2017
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The fast-food chicken place down the block is having a Hillary Clinton special - 5-piece meal for $5...

...two small breasts, two large thighs, and a left wing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kempff
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2015
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Fast Food at Work

I was at work today speaking with a few of my coworkers when we start talking about lunch. Two of my coworkers start talking about fast food restaurants they like going to when:

CW: I try not to eat fast food, but I really can’t help myself sometimes!

Me: I try to eat the slowest food possible, which is why I exclusively eat Tortoises.

CW: Well, all ofβ€”

It took them a couple seconds, but when they all looked at me with that β€œoh my gosh, you said what?” look, it made it all worth it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thatisus
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2017
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In the drive thru of the fast food place.....

Me: I guess I have to put the 5 under the 20.

Wife: Why?

Me: The sign says no bills over $20.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/flabden
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2017
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Fast Foods and Black Dudes

Jum-Bo Jackson

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shoddyradio
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2012
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Dad in line at fast food joint

Used to hear this all the time from dads as a cashier at a fast food place:

Me: Hi, can I help you?

Dad: No, I don't think anyone can.

My sides.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/catherinehavok
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2013
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(X-post from /r/cleanjokes) What's a blind person's favorite fast food joint?

Taco Braille

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Pankiest
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2016
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Did you hear about the two men from the monastery who opened a fast-food seafood restaurant?

One was the fish friar, the other was the chip monk!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/optomus
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2015
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At a fast food restaurant

At a fast food restaurant, my dad's credit card gets rejected. Not missing a beat, he pulls out another one and says "Here, try this one, I just printed it up in my basement this morning."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/2ndChoiceName
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2013
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Dad and his thoughts on fast food

Dad: "What did Burger King give to Dairy Queen on their wedding day?" Me: "What?" Dad: "An onion ring"

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2013
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Getting a refill at a fast food restaurant...

Cashier: Could you take your top off?

My dad looking incredulous and holding himself somewhat defensively: I beg your pardon!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrpunaway
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2013
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Overheard this one at a fast food restaurant

A Dad At Nearby Table: What is the difference between Dr. Pepper and Mr. Pibb?

(Silence)

Dad: A PhD!

/Good enough for popsicle sticks

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dditto74
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2013
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Every single fast food place we go

Everytime my dad has to go to a fast food place like McDonald's or KFC and he gets to the window to pick up his food he acts all confused and says

"I didn't order this? Where's my extra large pizza with everything on it?"

They either laugh or just stare for a minute

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2013
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Fast food

Talking to my dad just now..

Me: I don't really have a taste for fast food

Dad: I can take my time getting it, then it won't be fast food

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ericcccccc
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2015
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