My friend Joe recently went on the Dolly Parton diet...

It made Joe lean, Joe lean, Joe lean, Joe lean!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 247
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/crazyfortaco
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 12 2021
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John Bon Jovi has started an extremely strict fruit only diet...

He's living on a pear.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 149
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 10 2021
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Last week I tried an all banana diet.

I didn’t find it very appealing.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 32
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mconion
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 19 2021
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What did the bodybuilder ask the other bodybuilder when wanting details about his diet?

How much do you whey?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Blan_Uator
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 25 2020
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My wife is on a tropical fruit diet, the house is full of stuff

It is enough to make a mango crazy

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/lolyfe-dc
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 07 2020
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Don’t knock it until you diet
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Mister_Aitch
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 10 2020
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I changed my diet...

...the cookies now stand left of my keyboard.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Pistolenkrebs
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 07 2020
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Maintaining a healthy diet...

is a piece of cake

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/crazyfortaco
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 06 2020
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I'm on a seafood diet

I see food and I eat it.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/artinmens
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 24 2020
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Well, I've been on a diet for a whole week now...

And I've lost 7 days.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 27 2020
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Diet Diary, Day one : Have just removed all the fattening food from the House..

..and it was so delicious.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 30
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 19 2020
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What is a redhead's favorite diet?

Paleo!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 02 2020
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Mahatma Gandhi walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ..

A super calloused fragile mystic hexed with halitosis (edited, thanks kind friends for the correction!)

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/banditk77
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 22 2020
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I thought about going on an all almond diet

But that would be just nuts

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 21 2020
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Carbs are great for your diet
πŸ‘οΈŽ 28
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Kapil300
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 12 2020
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I wanted to go on a diet,

But there’s too much on my plate.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/d_for_effort
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 30 2020
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Have you heard of this diet?
πŸ‘οΈŽ 24
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/senpaiboey
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 14 2020
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I told my friend his β€˜hundred eggs in five days’ diet made me deathly ill.

He told me that was an eggsaturation.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Duzervee
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 31 2020
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Why can’t Swiss cheese be part of a fat-free diet?

It’s made with hole milk.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/KoolaidPower
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 21 2019
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My uncle drink dialed me the other night and told me he was going on an exclusively almond diet.

I said, "That's just nuts."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/boodahbellie
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 06 2020
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Most Men Don't Have Enough Fiber In Their Diet. Crazy Isn't It?

Tough Shit

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FadedHaseeb
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 16 2020
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I'm on the Minecraft diet.

Three square meals a day.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MelkorHimself
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 17 2020
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My Doctor has me on a diet to help epilepic attacks...

Mainly spasmati rice and seizure salads...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 07 2020
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I went on a gluten free diet because I was experiencing constant headaches.

And it actually worked. Clearly my-grains were the issue here.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 39
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Yubisaki_Milk_Tea
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 07 2020
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The other day, I told my son a joke about his pet iguana’s diet.

Crickets.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 31
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JiminyKirket
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 08 2020
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Since I moved to a plant based diet I lost touch with the fun guys.

Mushroom is not a plant

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/hamadaeleleimy
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 27 2020
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I was going to start an all cashew diet

But then I realized that’s just nuts...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 167
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Bradb717
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 04 2019
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After three weeks of my no-carb diet, I had to see my doctor for digestion pains...

...he told me I was lack toast intolerant.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MCPanda6969
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 10 2020
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Who knew I would fall in love with a low-carb, high-fat diet?

Turns out it had the Keto my heart this whole time

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/witz33
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 13 2020
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What do you call a fly on diet?

Mos-keto

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Theendangeredbeast
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 21 2020
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A guy came into the bar to order a glass of Coca-Cola's first diet drink, saying to put it on his bill.

He had a Tab.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 04 2020
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What would a python calls himself when he goes on diet?

py-thin

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FamiliarBorder
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 05 2020
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Did you hear about the new squirrel diet?

It’s just nuts

πŸ‘οΈŽ 45
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/boipaul27
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 08 2020
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Staring a new diet
πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheSameSon23
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 15 2019
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My friend Joe recently went on the Dolly Parton diet...

It really made Joe lean, Joe lean, Joe lean, Joe leannnnnnn.... 🎢

πŸ‘οΈŽ 295
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jamesnearn
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 23 2020
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My friend Joe went on the Dolly Parton diet.

It really made Joe lean, Joe lean, Joe lean...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 59
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Mama_Bear15
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 11 2020
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My friend Joe went on the Dolly Parton diet.

It really made Joe Lean, Joe Lean, Joe Lean, Joe Lean

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Johnbob-John
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 20 2020
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My girlfriend started an all fruit diet yesterday, the house is FULL of the stuff.

Its enough to make a mango crazy!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/runew0lf
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 05 2020
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet

But that's just nuts.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/StallionGameDev
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 15 2020
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Mahatma Ghandi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an incredible set of callouses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail. Plus, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Edit: I do now realize I misspelled Gandhi. I cannot edit the title, just know that I see it and am sorry.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SamuraiSAM5
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 08 2019
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Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 27
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Hatlesshobo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 17 2020
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Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

This made him, A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 249
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 23 2020
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Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

This made him, A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Edit: Wow! Didn't expect this big reaction! Thanks for the silver! Edit 2: And gold!? Thanks again! :)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/auroraborora
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 06 2019
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My wife started a tropical diet recently.

There's so much stuff in the house it would make a mango crazy.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheNefelivata
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 30 2020
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Mahatma Ghandi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an incredible set of callouses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail. Plus, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Edit: I do now realize I misspelled Gandhi. I cannot edit the title, just know that I see it and am sorry.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 47
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DrunkRedditBot
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 07 2020
🚨︎ report

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