What do you call HULK when he is not dieting?

BULK

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πŸ‘€︎ u/newdoc123
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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I'd like to start dieting...

...but I just have too much on my plate right now.

πŸ‘︎ 211
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πŸ‘€︎ u/randytayler
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2019
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I’m done with dieting

I’m just going to die-eating

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πŸ‘€︎ u/unknownamouse
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
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I’ve started becoming impatient since I’ve started dieting

Guess I’m losing wait

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazykegle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2019
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Dieting fly..

Mos-keto.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2019
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100% guaranteed way to loose weight without dieting:

Go to space; all astronauts are weightless.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlexAndertheAble
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2018
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I’m dieting religiously.

I no longer eat in church.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shadeauxmarie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2018
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My wife watched a TV show about dieting the other night

She didn't eat anything next morning.

That was fast.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ArlindoLindo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2018
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The dieting philosopher stopped losing weight.

He'd hit a Plato.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/engfish
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2014
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Dieting in Germany is easy...

Just look for gluten tags.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/k-smackerel
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2015
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My friend Joe recently went on the Dolly Parton diet...

It made Joe lean, Joe lean, Joe lean, Joe lean!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyfortaco
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
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John Bon Jovi has started an extremely strict fruit only diet...

He's living on a pear.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
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Last week I tried an all banana diet.

I didn’t find it very appealing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mconion
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
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I've started my new diet. It's called the Saudi Arabian cannibal diet...

You just have a Sheikh for breakfast.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2021
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What did the bodybuilder ask the other bodybuilder when wanting details about his diet?

How much do you whey?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blan_Uator
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
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My wife is on a tropical fruit diet, the house is full of stuff

It is enough to make a mango crazy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lolyfe-dc
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
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Don’t knock it until you diet
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mister_Aitch
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
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I changed my diet...

...the cookies now stand left of my keyboard.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pistolenkrebs
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
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Maintaining a healthy diet...

is a piece of cake

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyfortaco
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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I used to eat watches and clocks for every meal, but I had to stop.

It was too time consuming.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bombsaway1083
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
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I'm on a seafood diet

I see food and I eat it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/artinmens
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
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Well, I've been on a diet for a whole week now...

And I've lost 7 days.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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Mahatma Gandhi walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ..

A super calloused fragile mystic hexed with halitosis (edited, thanks kind friends for the correction!)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/banditk77
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
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Diet Diary, Day one : Have just removed all the fattening food from the House..

..and it was so delicious.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
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What is a redhead's favorite diet?

Paleo!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
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A new level.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gregorybrad
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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I thought about going on an all almond diet

But that would be just nuts

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
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Carbs are great for your diet
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kapil300
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
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Why does a space rock taste nicer than an earth rock?

It’s a little meteor.

(Not a dad. But I told this to my dad and he approved)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ValkyrieAssassin1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
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I wanted to go on a diet,

But there’s too much on my plate.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/d_for_effort
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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Just blew the sugar off my doughnut...

Dieting is so hard.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
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Have you heard of this diet?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/senpaiboey
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
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Why can’t Swiss cheese be part of a fat-free diet?

It’s made with hole milk.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KoolaidPower
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2019
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I told my friend his β€˜hundred eggs in five days’ diet made me deathly ill.

He told me that was an eggsaturation.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Duzervee
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
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I don’t understand why I can't lose weight.

I thought dieting was a piece of cake.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jigsatics
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
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My uncle drink dialed me the other night and told me he was going on an exclusively almond diet.

I said, "That's just nuts."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boodahbellie
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
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Most Men Don't Have Enough Fiber In Their Diet. Crazy Isn't It?

Tough Shit

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FadedHaseeb
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
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I'm on the Minecraft diet.

Three square meals a day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MelkorHimself
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
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What does a cannibal call a gymnast?

A well balanced breakfast

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kingsquidington
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
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My Doctor has me on a diet to help epilepic attacks...

Mainly spasmati rice and seizure salads...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
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I went on a gluten free diet because I was experiencing constant headaches.

And it actually worked. Clearly my-grains were the issue here.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yubisaki_Milk_Tea
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2020
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The other day, I told my son a joke about his pet iguana’s diet.

Crickets.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JiminyKirket
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend Joe recently went on the Dolly Parton diet...

It really made Joe lean, Joe lean, Joe lean, Joe leannnnnnn.... 🎢

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jamesnearn
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend Joe went on the Dolly Parton diet.

It really made Joe lean, Joe lean, Joe lean...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mama_Bear15
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend Joe went on the Dolly Parton diet.

It really made Joe Lean, Joe Lean, Joe Lean, Joe Lean

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Johnbob-John
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
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My girlfriend started an all fruit diet yesterday, the house is FULL of the stuff.

ItsΒ enoughΒ toΒ makeΒ aΒ mangoΒ crazy!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/runew0lf
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet

But that's just nuts.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StallionGameDev
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
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Mahatma Ghandi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an incredible set of callouses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail. Plus, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Edit: I do now realize I misspelled Gandhi. I cannot edit the title, just know that I see it and am sorry.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SamuraiSAM5
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hatlesshobo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

This made him, A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

This made him, A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Edit: Wow! Didn't expect this big reaction! Thanks for the silver! Edit 2: And gold!? Thanks again! :)

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/auroraborora
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
🚨︎ report

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