Doctor said Iā€™m at risk of having a heart attack due to high sodium intake.

I took what he said with a grain of salt.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/battebatmand
šŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
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How do cows intake water?

by Osmoosis

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/coffinedude
šŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
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How do you reduce your butter intake?

Marginally.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/cheezeturds
šŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
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Doctor: Are you aware of your sodium intake?

Me: Na

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/Gasyournan
šŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
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We should have known communism wouldn't work

There were so many red flags.

šŸ‘︎ 10k
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/coloradoconvict
šŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2019
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So I had a physical the other day

After the checkup, my doctor recommended I up my coffee intake to two pots a day, eat more saturated fats, and start smoking.

I'm beginning to suspect he knows about me and his wife.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/42words
šŸ“…︎ May 26 2019
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Wife got me today

She's trying to increase her daily water intake. I told her, "If you want to try and keep up, I already finished my first quart for the day." She replied, "No, we don't want to turn this into a pissing contest."

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/cplhunter
šŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2017
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John the Baptist

John the Baptist of Biblical fame used to walk through the desert in his bare feet. This left his feet tough, which is understandable- the hot sand and rough terrain would leave anyone's feet tough. He was known to receive signs from God and occasionally perform mystical feats. He subsisted on a diet of locusts and honey. Without access to dental hygiene at the time, this left him with somewhat bad breath. It also left him frail, as the diet wasn't varied and would have required an immense intake of food to be remotely sustained.

I guess that you could say that he was a super-callused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/edpeters1
šŸ“…︎ May 04 2017
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An inventor was making a new engine

... but he was having trouble with the fuel pump. Every time the pressure dropped, it would start getting clogged and would shut down.

Eventually he had inspiration, and set things up to work in parallel: now if one intake started having trouble, the rest would still keep it running smoothly.

Lesson learned, don't put all your ebbs in one gasket

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/The_Possum
šŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2017
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My boss dropped this one at our team meeting.

We have a 10 minute safety/health segment before each meeting, and one of the suggestions in the presentation was to reduce alcohol intake.

My boss, about a colleague who loves his drink but recently had liver issues -

"Yeah, Dave doesn't drink anymore...he just doesn't drink any less." WINK

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/Haskens
šŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2015
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Dad joked my sister last night

We were watching tv and I was snacking on beef jerky.

Me: You know, beef jerky is actually a pretty healthy snack.

Sis: Huh, well don't you need to lower your sodium intake the rest of the day?

Me: Na

...after a minute or two...

Sis: ...oh god dammit!

We're both engineers btw, I'm MechE she's ChemE.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/jiggydan
šŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2014
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Fridge Problems

Recently, my mother started smelling a coolant leak from our refridgerator. She called the repair man and he started work. Several hours later, he had his diagnosis, and it wasn't good. The whole machine was going to need to be replaced. Just as he was finishing up, my dad walked in. My dad asked the repair man what the damages were, and he explained that the coolant intake had sprung a leak. The whole unit was sealed, and air was now getting in and contaminating the entire system. The repair costs of the fridge would be about the same as getting a new one. My dad just sighed and looked at his hands.

Dad: "It sucks." He looked at the repair man with a goofy grin on his face. The repair man thought for a moment before answering.

Repair man: "Yeah... it does suck." Then both men cracked up laughing.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/Bluefoot_Fox
šŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2014
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