I got hit in the head with a can of Diet Coke today.

Don't worry, I'm not hurt. It was a soft drink.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yeossin
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
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Why did Diet Coke join the KKK?

Zero tolerance

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
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What does Diet Coke call Coca Cola after adoption?

Soda Pop

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cvzmir
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2019
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Fizz-ics
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chh147
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2018
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My friend used this today on our waitress...

We were placing our drink orders:

"I'll have a coke."

"Is Pepsi okay?"

"I don't know, what happened to him?!"

I'm not sure if the joke went over her head, or if she was annoyed from hearing it, but she didn't laugh as much as we did.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rebar_Bryant
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2014
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One day a guy dies...

...and finds himself in hell. Walking around, he runs into the devil.

Devil: Why are you so sad?

Guy: Why do you think? I'm in hell.

Devil: Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinkin' man?

Guy: Sure, I love to drink.

Devil: Well you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, Diet Coke. We drink until we throw up and then we drink some more.

Guy: Gee, that sounds great.

Devil: You a smoker?

Guy: You better believe it.

Devil: All right! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from around the world and smoke our friggin' lungs out. If you get cancer, it's okay -- you're already dead.

Guy: Golly!

Devil: I bet you like to gamble, too.

Guy: Yes, as a matter of fact I do.

Devil: Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Craps, blackjack, horse races, you name it. You like to do drugs?

Guy: Yes, I love to do drugs. You don't mean...?

Devil: That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. Smoke a doobie the size of the Titanic. You can do all the drugs you want, and you'll never die -- you're already dead.

Guy: Neat! I never realized hell was such a happenin' place!

Devil: You gay?

Guy: No.

Devil: Oh, you're gonna hate Fridays

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DylanTheG999
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
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This is gas

So at work a female co-worker says ''you know what I never understood? Why does a 1.5 liter bottle of coke weigh more than a 1.5 liter bottle of water? I'd love to be able to carry a big bottle of coke around like a carry around water but it's too heavy and awkward.'' I said ''You should switch to coke light''. I think that might be the last thing she'l ever say to me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SeamusMarley
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2014
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I started to worry that I drink too much soda and need an intervention

Come to find out, I'm just a Diet Coke-head

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πŸ‘€︎ u/klown_13
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2018
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The Cheerio Joke

Oh boy do I have a joke for you kids! Its called the cheerio joke.


So there is this land called cheerio land and in cheerio land there are 7 classes of cheerio, 0-5 and the frosted cheerios. Now there is this level 0 cheerio. Hes homeless, living out on the street, probaly an alchoholic. But he falls in love with a frosted cheerio princess. So one day he sneaks into the royal gala and goes up to the princess and asks her "will you marry me?" Now she says "I like your style, youre a good looking guy, a bit scruffy but I like you. Tell you what I will marry you if you can become a frosted cheerio" So our guy goes back with a determination and gets a job and starts to pay off his debts. Now by having a job and his debts paid he becomes a level 1 cheerio. So he works, and he works, and he works, and he WORKS and he finally becomes a level 2 cheerio. Now he goes back to the princess and askes her again, "will you marry me?" she says "no honey you really do have to become a frosted cheerio first." So he goes back and he works and works, hes a fryboy at McGrubers or something, I dont care. So he works and he works and he gets promoted at the restraunt and is making more money. And he works and he works and he works and by having that income raise he finally becomes a level 3 cheerio. He feels sucessful for the first time in his life but he is starting to fall back on his old ways. One day he goes to the casino and he loses and he loses and he loses and he gambled all his money away and he gets fired to boot because gambling is against company policy. So he is back down to a level 1 cheerio. He gets a job on a production line at a nearby factory and determines himself not to fall back ever again. So he works and he works and he works and he works and he WORKS, level 2, level 3, and he is doing great again. He is promoted to Floor manager of the factory and he is doing great and becomes a level 4 cheerio. But then one day a rival company sabotages their operation by putting poison in their toothpaste or whatever the hell they were making. They have to pay out damages and PR and the like and they declare bankruptcy. He is knocked back down to level 2 for the lack in income. But he is hired almost straight away by a branch of a huge conglomerate because they recognized how hard of a worker he is. So he works, level 3, works, level 4, and he works and works and WORKS. So he is promoted t

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/t17389z
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2013
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The look on our servers face

Waitress: We have coke, diet coke, ginger ale, root beer in a bottle and Shirley Temple in a bottle

Dad: wait, how did you get her in the bottle?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chillhardy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2015
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I got hit in the head with a can of Diet Coke today.

Don't worry, I'm not hurt. It was a soft drink.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RobRoy333
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2019
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I got hit in the head today with a Diet Coke. Don’t worry. I’m not hurt....

It was a soft drink

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πŸ‘€︎ u/danniemegz
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2019
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I got hit in the head with a can of Diet Coke today.

Don’t worry. I’m not hurt

It was a soft drink

πŸ‘︎ 121
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blue_Goblin_565
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2018
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I got hit in the head with a can of some Diet Coke today...

But don't worry...I'm okay, it was a soft drink.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NuccSucc
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2019
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I got hit in the head with a can of Diet Coke today. Don’t worry, I’m not hurt.

It was a soft drink

πŸ‘︎ 133
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Obie_Prod
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2018
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I got hit in the head with a can of Diet Coke today!!

Don't worry, I'm not hurt. It was a soft drink...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xdwaffles22
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2019
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I got hit in the head with a can of Diet Coke today.

Don't worry, I'm not hurt. It was a soft drink.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/metnem
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2018
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