Because i feel my life’s becoming a yolk
There's no place like chrome for the hollandaise.
Because in France, one egg is Un ouef.
I told her it was surreal
Excuse me, but I'd like to propose a toast!
Because one egg is un oeuf
Apparently they enjoy dim sums in the morning
He said he was peforming an eggcorism
So I ordered French toast during the renaissance.
A trucker came into a Truck Stop Café and placed his order with the waitress. He said "I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards."
The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the kitchen and said to the cook, "This guy out there just ordered three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards. What does he think this place is, an auto parts store?"
"No," the cook said. "'three flat tires' mean three pancakes; 'a pair of headlights' are two eggs sunny side up; and 'a pair of running boards' are 2 slices of crisp bacon!"
"Oh.. OK!" said the blonde. She thought about it for a moment and then spooned up a bowl of beans and gave it to the customer.
The trucker asked, "What are the beans for, Blondie?"
She replied, "I thought while you were waiting for the flat tires, headlights and running boards, you might as well gas up!"
"Honey, I got you a bouquet."
The next trip to the bathroom is going to spell disaster
But in France, one egg is un ouef.
"Yes." she replied.
"Well, the food goes into our tummies and our bodies take out all the good stuff, then whatever is left over, comes out of our bottoms when we go to the toilet! And that, is poo!"
She looked a little perplexed, stared at me in stunned silence for a few seconds and asked, "And Tigger?"
I told him I was trying something new. He looked at the recipe and proclaimed, Oh crêpe.
It tasted waffle.
Me: Mommy tells me that all the time.
He has a near photographic memory, I'm hoping one day when he's twenty he coughs out his cold cereal in college as he gets the joke.
But I don’t see what’s wrong with being a cereal monogamist.
"But at least it's made with whole groins."
Because in France, one egg is un oeuf.
I build slow
It was my longest running joke of the year.
Son: “I hate crumbs.”
Me: “That’s not cool. Crumbs never did anything to you.”
Son: “Well I don’t want to eat them.”
Me: “And they don’t want to eat you.”
Son: “Crumbs can’t eat anything, Dad. They don’t have a mouth and they can’t swallow things inside them.”
Me: “What if there’s a river of crumbs going into the ocean and a duck lands on them and it’s like quicksand so the duck gets swallowed up at the mouth of the river of crumbs? I’d say it just got eaten.”
Son: “And I’d say you’re ducking weird.”
I never knew she was lack-toast intolerant.
Then he shows me the empty packet of KY Jelly had smeared all over his morning toast.
In other words, bran flakes.
...but I prefer it in a bowl.
I didn't mind. I love coffee from the French Press.
A chill pill.
It was a sweet role.