Hit me with breakfast puns

Because i feel my life’s becoming a yolk

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vinia4labari
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
🚨︎ report
πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/awkwardyeti
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2013
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In honour of this sub, I made eggs for breakfast.

Whoops, I thought the β€œJ” was silent

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IronicOrJustLame
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2021
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What did german air force members eat for breakfast?

Luftwaffles

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Major_Cupcake
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call man who only eats breakfast... a cereal killer
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Neolpalm
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2021
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At breakfast this morning, I asked my wife if the orange juice had pulp, and she assured me it did. However, when I drank it, there was no pulp to he found.

When I asked her why she lied, she answered "you always say how much you love pulp fiction!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Astroisawalrus
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2021
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Breakfast joke

I don't like pancakes they give me the crepes.

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πŸ“…︎ May 16 2021
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What’s white and can ruin breakfast?

Avalanche.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/halfblood_god
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2021
🚨︎ report
What do astronauts eat for breakfast

Space jam

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πŸ‘€︎ u/THPSROCKS
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2021
🚨︎ report
What do electricians eat for breakfast?

Ohmelete.

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JohnJohnyJon
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2021
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I just bought a cheap traveler bed and breakfast.

It was a hostel takeover

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brainsonastick
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2021
🚨︎ report
What’s an impostor’s favorite breakfast?

Sus-age.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ghost_Foot
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2021
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Real story: I was talking to the Waitress at a breakfast restaurant where a Jeep wheel had just blown out the front window.

I told her she looked exhausted. When you start your day like that you’re tired all day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HeyNow646
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2021
🚨︎ report
What do jokesters eat for breakfast?

Pun-Cakes !

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beastieboys1987
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2021
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When dad burns breakfast
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2021
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What is a machine guns' favorite breakfast meal?

A frittata-tatata.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RipVanWinkle_1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2021
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What is Harry Potters favorite breakfast?

The Sorcerer's Scone

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FranticFridge
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2021
🚨︎ report
Early breakfast

I passed a cafe serving Early Bird breakfast ... do those birds lay fresher eggs?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/flatoutsask
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2021
🚨︎ report
What do polar bears eat for breakfast?

Snow Flakes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TannerAndrews
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2021
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The Last Breakfast.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/awesome_smokey
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2021
🚨︎ report
We were having breakfast yesterday, and dad suddenly threw a slinky at my head.

He said, β€œSpring is in the air!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2021
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Why do the French only eat one egg at breakfast?

Because one egg is un oeuf.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
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My wife is pissed at me. I made hard boiled eggs for breakfast this morning and let our 2 year old help peel them and he made a mess

I have been walking on eggshells ever since.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MehWebDev
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2021
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My favorite Christmas breakfast is Eggs Benedict served on a hubcap.

There's no place like chrome for the hollandaise.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BoonIsTooSpig
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the German bread say at breakfast?

Gluten morgen!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/karl_oskar
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
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I don’t know what way I should prepare my eggs for breakfast this morning.

I am having an eggsistential crisis, here.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/callmefinny
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2021
🚨︎ report
What do castles eat for breakfast?

Moatmeal

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2021
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Given that a case of the sniffles means staying home from school, we give my daughter a daily allergy medicine. My wife was giving her breakfast before school, and when I walked out, I asked if she’d had her medicine yet.

My daughter said yes, and I replied, β€œSo you’re de-Claritin that you’ve had it already?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bpcombs
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
🚨︎ report
I always have toast for breakfast.

Because I’m lack-toast-intolerant.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DiosMioMan2
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you eat for breakfast on cake day?

Puncakes.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pirate-Frog
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
🚨︎ report
What does Shaquille O’Neal eat for breakfast?

Shaquille O’atmeal.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElsonDaSushiChef
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
🚨︎ report
My dad dropped this gem during breakfast.

How do you know if a man is ticklish? Just take 1 test-tickle.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun_Kill3r
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2021
🚨︎ report
What do cars put on their toast for breakfast?

Traffic jams!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/space0watch
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
🚨︎ report
What does cthulhu eat for breakfast?

Yog-urt and elder berries.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mbowk23
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
🚨︎ report
What’s a dogs favourite breakfast in the morning?

Bacon and Wooffles

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SleepingQuill
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
🚨︎ report
During breakfast, my dad said, β€œLet me sum up 2020 in one word.”

Four.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Every day at breakfast, I announce that I’m going for a jog, and then I don’t.

It was my longest running joke of the year.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2020
🚨︎ report
If I ever run a hotel, the free breakfast would be served from 7 tables all pushed together in the middle of the room.

It would be a Pangea breakfast

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
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What sound does it make when an ogre eats a witch for breakfast?

Snap cackle n' pop

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ashjmc89
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
🚨︎ report
Do you know why the French eat just one egg for breakfast?

Because in France, one egg is Un ouef.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tamizander
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s white and annoying at breakfast?

An avalanche

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JeepinHunter
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2021
🚨︎ report
Why do the French only eat one egg for breakfast?

Because for them, one egg is un oeuff

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/robindc_93
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
🚨︎ report
What’s white and annoying at breakfast?

An avalanche

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jaxerfp
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
🚨︎ report
What do jokesters eat for breakfast?

Pun-cakes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BockBock2000
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
🚨︎ report
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