A man tried to start a fight by throwing dough, shredded cheese, and tomato sauce at me.

So I said, β€œYou wanna pizza me?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2020
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Bill, the weatherman: β€œToday’s weather forecast will be two beans in a tomato, meat sauce.”

Anchor: Bill, what on earth are you talking about?

Bill: It’ll be a little chili.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MBisme
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
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My friend was making some beans in tomato sauce for dinner and she spilled some

then she giggled and said β€œwe can’t eat those now, they’ve bean on the floor”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mo4na
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
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I missed the documentary on TV on how they make tomato sauce...

... I guess I’ll have to watch it on ketch up.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2019
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I missed the last few cooking classes about making tomato sauce.

Looks like I've to ketchup with it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2019
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My friend was eating a burger and spilled tomato sauce on his book...

It was a terrible time to ketchup on his reading.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
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We followed my dad's death bed wish and buried him covered in baked flour, tomato sauce, mozzarella cheese and pepperoni...

R.I.P dad, Rest In Pizza.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2018
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nothing tops a plain pizza
πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/__ch4nc3__
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
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I just dropped this one on my pregnant wife.

Her: Could you go to the store for more tomato sauce? Get a big can.

Me: Alright.

Her: Actually, get two cans.

Me: That's some exotic chili we must be having.

Her: ..........go away.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TrindadeDisciple
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2013
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My 6 year old insisted I tell him a new joke before he would go to bed. He'd heard all my old ones, so I had to think quickly. I was quite happy with my, close to instant, response

Q: Where do tomatoes come from?

A: The tomato source!

(source / sauce! Geddit!)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lagerdalek
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2015
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My dad dropped this while making pizza.

He was opening a can of tomato sauce: Dad: "Uh oh" Me: "What?" Dad: "It's going to taste funny, I opened the can upside down."

He's a butt, but I love him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/epicjester
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2013
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