A blonde goes into a church and asks the minister, "How much does it cost to rent a church singing group?"He said,"Do you mean a choir?"
She said "Fine... How much does it cost to acquire a church singing group?"
Me: "How much is the rent for this beautiful apartment?"
"Sir!! This is a liquor store "
When I was a poor, struggling actor, I had to take a job getting spanked in a BDSM film just to pay the rent...
...yes, I was really strapped for cash back then.
What do you call a guy who rents out his router?
Someone asked me if I knew where they could rent a 10 passenger van
I said I know where to rent the van but they had to find the passengers themselves.
Our landlord knocked on our door today and said that if we didn't pay rent, they'd turn off the heater tomorrow
Hippie gets 3 months late on rent...So the landlord knocks on his door to let him know he’s being evicted
He opens the door and tells him “Namaste”.
I keep asking my flatmate to pay his rent
And he keeps turning sideways to avoid me
Rick Astley rents the movie Up from the rental store, 3 weeks later he gets a call from the rental store employees saying that his rental is 3 weeks overdue, what does Rick Astley say?
How many ants does it take to rent a house?
My neighbour and I became good friends, so we decided to rent a space together to park our cars.
We have....a lot in common.
I keep thinking about how fun it would be to get a couple friends and go out to the lake. Maybe rent a pontoon boat.
I dunno, I’ll float the idea by my brother.
How do you make the bugs in your yard pay rent?
What is it called when someone rents a camp from the Boy Scouts for half a week?
I was trying to get the rent for this month together, but my wife kept showing me clips from 60 Minutes...
I should have known she'd try to Stahl...
A buddy of mine only rents his apartments out to nuns.
Guess you could say he has a Sister complex...
Why can nine ants rent an apartment for free?
Because there not tenants.
The envelope to our landlord with rent cheques
What's the difference between a baby frog and a moths rent?
One's a tadpole, and the other is a pad toll.
I went into this video shop, and the man asked if I’d like to rent Batman Forever.
I said "No, just for the night."
How many insects do you need to rent out an apartment?
Being uncomfortable with any physical contact, I decided to rent the book “How to Hug” from the library.
Turns out it was Volume 6 of an old encyclopedia.
Why shouldn’t you rent your home to a guy name Kevin?
Cause he won’t pay Durent
My woodwind instrument couldn't afford to pay the rent.
If you want to rent reading material, do you have to book it first?
Why couldn't the art forger pay his rent?
Because he didn't make any Monet.
I work at a foster care agency with a rent to own policy...
Where do cows rent their videos from??
My wife and sister in law taking about rent.
Wife: You can just pay us $360, since it's half of the mortgage.
SIL: How about we make it $400, I like round numbers.
Me: 360 is a round number.
Is the solar systems rent out of this world?
I heard space is expansive
What do you call someone who wants to rent your bathroom?
Why do landlords like to rent their storefronts to Chinese restaurants?
Because they're lo mein tenants.
I went into a church and asked the minister how much it would cost to rent a church singing group.
He asked, "do you mean a choir?"
I said, "OK, fine, then how much does it cost to acquire a church singing group?"
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
