Why do spies keep working even when they're asleep ?

Cos they're undercover.

πŸ‘︎ 57
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22
🚨︎ report
My spy boyfriend had a punch machine accident.

holey -Moley...

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/not_flexy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08
🚨︎ report
Did you here about the Italian spy...

He was such an impasta

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ASHER999999
πŸ“…︎ May 07
🚨︎ report
It was fun being a spy til they put me in a windy city with only a blanket for camouflage

My cover was blown constantly

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zsm1994
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17
🚨︎ report
A spy walks into a science lab. When asked who he is, he says β€œThe name’s bond...

β€œHydrogen Bond.”

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_-SLAYER
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09
🚨︎ report
A classically trainer theater performer just became a spy.

I guess you could say they perform... thespionage

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/StrangeQuark32
πŸ“…︎ May 24
🚨︎ report
Apparently they are still searching for the spy plane that was shot down over the former Soviet Union in 1960.

They still haven’t found what they’re looking for.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Konamicoder
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27
🚨︎ report
I ran into actor Matt Damon and told him I loved his recent spy thriller film. He got real mad and said:

I wasn’t Bourne yesterday, you know.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27
🚨︎ report
With everyone quarantined and staying inside, there is no one out to spy on or follow around...

The stalk market is very weak.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18
🚨︎ report
How many spies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ajjanialthor
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16
🚨︎ report
Why did the spy cross the road?

He didn't. He was never really on your side.

πŸ‘︎ 74
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Radish00
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
🚨︎ report
What type of shoes do spies wear?

Sneakers

πŸ‘︎ 56
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Warenvoid
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call an actor who's a spy?

Thespianage!

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/anotherlame
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
An American spy is in Soviet Russia, digging up information on a powerful Russian politician. He finds him in a bar, walks in dressed in Russian attire, pretending to be Russian. Everybody in the bar looks at him, but he keeps his cool. He orders a drink and walks to the politician...

"Greetings, comrade." says the spy, but before he could finish his sentence, the Russian says, "I think you are American spy."

The spy is alarmed, but being a skilled, trained, spy, he says, "That is not true! I am the proudest Soviet there is! I can sing the anthem more beautifully than any other man in the country!"

He then proceeds to sing the Soviet anthem, so melodically and beautifully, that everybody in the bar cheers.

"Very good, very good!" says the politician. "But I still think you are spy."

The man continues to keep his cool.

"I am a historian! I can tell you everything about this glorious country!"

He then spends about two hours recounting the Revolution, the Great Patriotic War, about how superior to the Russia is in terms of technology compared to America and makes a great argument about how communism is beneficial to society.

"Amazing! You are skilled!" says the politician.

The spy smirks.

"But I still think you American spy."

The spy is getting frustrated,

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 92
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2019
🚨︎ report
A japanese spy is a ninja. What do you call a chinese spy?

A tourist.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GabyHer4
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a gay female spy?

Lesbionage

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gl1tchy1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2019
🚨︎ report
The New Irish spy company

S. P. O'Nage

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SquishedGremlin
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I think potatoes might be super spies in disguise.

They have eyes everywhere

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sum1said
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do ducks make lousy spies?

They always quack under interrogation.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2019
🚨︎ report
What's Canadas spy organization called?

CIEh?

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IntestineYarnball
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2019
🚨︎ report
What's another term for a Chinese Spy?

Peking Tom

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RCRadioCarbon
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Spy Doggo
πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Big_Joosh
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Whenever I spy on my neighbour over the fence, I always stand on a box of fish fingers

just to get a Birdseye view.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ElMel77
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the super spy who was really into 50's era slang?

He's incogneato.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyeyedmcgee
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2019
🚨︎ report
What is it called when two spies hug?

A bonding moment.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Nocturtle_Boi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the bedbug spy?

He was undercover.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Natch42
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2019
🚨︎ report
How do spies send secret messages in the forest?

Moss code

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gl3nnsth3man
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2019
🚨︎ report
What do British spies use to prevent athlete's foot?

Bond. Gold Bond.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dgrubbnasty
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2018
🚨︎ report
I spy with my little eye, something grey...

Apparently my son is the ultimate dad joker, as his instant reply was my hair. Much to the amusement of his mother and brother. For me the game was over and done with... πŸ˜‚

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/b8410
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2018
🚨︎ report
The Bad Spy

During World War 2, a spy working for the East, and a spy working for Great Britain infiltrated Nazi Germany.

Their mission, eliminating a Schutzstaffel officer.

They succeeded, and the british infiltrator taunted his target afterwards

However, his comrade in arms then punched him in the face.

Why ?

>!He had said "You SS are stupid."!<

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Arklaw
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the underwater spy?

His name was James Pond.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TGP2005
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2018
🚨︎ report
In what part of a hospital do they spy on patients?

In the I.C.U.!

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ShyConcession
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2018
🚨︎ report
How do you know that the spaghetti is a spy?

It's an impasta

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ChrisTheCoolBean
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2018
🚨︎ report
What allergy ridden English author wrote novels about a British spy?

Ian Phlegming

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did the russian spy hate the FBI agent?

He kept bugging him.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Karpish_the_smol
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2017
🚨︎ report
The Queen knighted British electrons to spy on ordinary citizens

Truly, the Brits are living in a modern day Sir Valence state.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zamoose
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2017
🚨︎ report
Ever heard of the top secret group of whales that were spies?

If I were to tell you I'd have to krill you.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kamikazepirates
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2017
🚨︎ report
The guy who came up with the "I Spy with my little Eye..." Game was shot 3 times and taken to the hospital.

They had to put him in the Icu.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/manlyusername
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2017
🚨︎ report
Which Eeveelution is a French spy?

Espeon.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IanGecko
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2015
🚨︎ report
What do you call a snooping salsa that spies on men?

peak-o de guy-o

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hornwalker
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2015
🚨︎ report
Watching Spies Like Us with my GF last night

We were watching the movie and she says "this movie isn't going anywhere", and I sit for a moment before replying, "yeah, 80's comedies were mostly a string of gags" pause for dramatic effect, "coincidentally, so were 80's pornos!"

I proceed to laugh at that for 2 minutes while she roles to her side and ignores me.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/climber_g33k
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2016
🚨︎ report
How do spies send secret messages in the forest?

By moss code.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_mono_no_aware
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2019
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.