A science pun, a secret pun.
Why shouldn't you tell any secrets in a cornfield ?
What's the secret of the Queen's long life?
The secret to looking younger....
....is telling people that you're older.
How does a food critic keep their identity a secret?
They use a Nom Nom Nom de Plum
I figured out the secret chord that David played!
What is the best kept secret of all time?
Well why would I tell you
A secret society of pranksters is called illuminaughty
Why can't eggs keep a secret?
They tend to crack under pressure.
Did you hear the secret joke that only the FBI, CIA, NSA and MI6 know?
I was once offered the chance to join a secret club, where anyone who asks a question is permanently banned.
The secret behind a dad joke is in the delivery
Is what the mailman keeps telling my son.
How did Vikings send secret messages?
My buddy Earl has never been late to work, school, or any appointment. Want to know his secret?
There’s a fine line between a secret
I'm going to share with you the greatest secret for always being on time
Why was the discovery of King Tut thought to be a secret?
Because he was kept under wraps...
Every dad stores his jokes in a very secret place...
I just found out that my friend lives a secret life as a priest.
Why does “secretary” start with secret?
Because of all their business affairs
Secret jaws plot
Did you know if you watch jaws backwards, it's about a shark that throws up so many people they have to open a beach? :D
You want the names of the tiny shrimp secret agents?
Sure, I could tell you...but then I’d have to krill you.
If Spiderman's secret identity is Peter Parker, what's his dog's secret identity?
Why do secret agents get the best sleep...
Because they’re always undercover.
I told my friend a secret about the grocery store.
Remember Spider Pig from the Simpsons movie? I figured out his secret identity!
As a secret agent, my kids never know what I got them for Christmas..
I always keep the presents under wraps.
What's the secret to being Santa Claus?
You either have the gift or you don't.
My friend asked about my secret of making the juiciest steak
He isn’t pleased saying it’s too dry.....
I just told him “it needs more thyme in the pan”
What secret society loves to eat pretzels?
They all laughed when I told them that one day I would discover the secret of invisibility.
If only they could see me now.
Have you heard about the top secret bakery?
It's on a knead to dough basis
Do you know the secret Karen?
Everyone knows about Karen's, how they argue with everyone about everything.
Do you know about their lesser known Sister, Sharon. She's every bit as argumentative and angry, because as everyone knows,
Sharon is Karen
I asked my dad if he had any secret talents.
He replied, “If I did, how the hell would I know about them?”
The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked
now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"
Did you hear the one about the secret agent that was captured behind enemy lines with a sheepdog as part of his disguise?
When he was put to death, his captors ground him up and baked him in the oven covered in gravy and mashed potatoes.
When questioned as to why such a cruel and unusual punishment was administered, they stated that this was the only way to correctly execute a shepherd spy.
The secret service has a new protocol if there's a threat in the room with the president
They used to yell down. Now it's
"Donald duck!"
The government started banning alcoholic drinks, so I'm selling liquor in secret.
What do you call it when Victoria Secret merges with Smith and Wesson?
Your can always trust a walrus to keep your secrets...
Why should you never tell military secrets to a duck?
Ducks will always quack under interrogation.
I Figured out the secret chord that David played!
How did Vikings send secret messages?
I just found out that my friend has a secret life as a priest.
What did the secret service yell when Disney sent assassins after our president?
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