You want the names of the tiny shrimp secret agents?

Sure, I could tell you...but then Iโ€™d have to krill you.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/LaChuteQuiMarche
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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Why do secret agents get the best sleep...

Because theyโ€™re always undercover.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/JCraay
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
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As a secret agent, my kids never know what I got them for Christmas..

I always keep the presents under wraps.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/EMOmosie
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
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Did you hear the one about the secret agent that was captured behind enemy lines with a sheepdog as part of his disguise?

When he was put to death, his captors ground him up and baked him in the oven covered in gravy and mashed potatoes.

When questioned as to why such a cruel and unusual punishment was administered, they stated that this was the only way to correctly execute a shepherd spy.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/HolyCheezuzSonOfCod
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
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What do you call a Secret Agent Potato?

A Good Imperson-tater

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/MisterMitch8
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
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The Pentagon has a bakery where government agents learn secret recipes by mixing the ingredients themselves...

It operates on a knead to know basis.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/thomasbrakeline
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 01 2020
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The secret service agents no longer shout "get down!" anymore.

They shout "Donald, duck!"

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DevonWhiteTurnUp
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 16 2019
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Why do secret agents get the best sleep?

Because theyโ€™re always undercover.

(My first original Dad joke. Inspired by my son)

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/FMG_Ransu
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 03 2018
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Did you hear about that Christian secret agent?

His name was Jason Bourne again.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/VillainousC
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 12 2019
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What shoes do secret agents wear?

Sneakers

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/assmartasiamstupid
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 29 2018
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I dare you to read this

What tree do you wipe your hands on? A palm tree!

I heard a scary math joke, but Iโ€™m 2^^2 to tell it!

Have you heard of that new movie, โ€œConstipationโ€? Well it doesnโ€™t matter, it never came out.

I hurt myself when I went to a theme park in florida. When I went to the doctor, he started wrapping up my left leg, but then I pointed at my right and said โ€œNo, doc, itโ€™s dis knee.โ€

Last night I got mugged by 6 dwarves. Not Happy.

When Queen Elizabeth farts, everyone in the room must pretend like nothing happened. Noble Gasses donโ€™t cause reactions, after all.

Whatโ€™s the difference between a seal and a sea lion? One electron.

What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises? It becomes Daytrogen!

I called the animal shelter today and said "I've found six kittens in a suitcase in the woods." They said "Are they moving?" I replied "I don't know, but that would explain the suitcase."

Why canโ€™t you trust Atoms? Because they make up everything!

Why do nerds wear glasses? It helps with division.

Why should you tiptoe past the medicine cabinet? You donโ€™t wanna wake the sleeping pills.

What twitches and is found at the bottom of the ocean? A nervous wreck!

What do you call a fat psychic? A four chin teller!

What do you call a 3 foot tall psychic on the run from the law? A small medium at large!

Help, I canโ€™t stop reading books with female protagonists! Iโ€™m a heroine addict!

How did Sparticus react when he ate his wife for dinner? He was gladiator!

When does a joke become a dad joke? When the punchline becomes apparent!

19 and 20 got into a fightโ€ฆ 21.

My friend told me, โ€œPeople who sell meat are disgusting!โ€ So I said, โ€œYeah, well people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer!โ€

How can turtles take photos of themselves? Shell-fie sticks!

What do you call a secret agent molecule? Bondโ€ฆ ionic bond. โ€œTaken, not shared.โ€ What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? (Cut this part, but make a screeching noise)

How much does Santaโ€™s sleigh cost? $0, itโ€™s on the house.

If America switched from pounds to kilograms overnight there would be mass confusion.

I had a splinter once; it eventually got out of hand.

Iโ€™m going to go stand outside. If anyone asks, Iโ€™m outstanding.

Most people are shocked to find out how terrible an electrician I am!

What do mermaids wash their fins with? Tide Whatโ€™s the coolest place to use the bathroom? The Lil Jon

Did you know that on average, people want three covers on their bed at all times? But thatโ€™s just a blanket statem

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/kinjago
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
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