What do you call it when you slap a rock without consent?

Aggravated Basalt.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MercuREEEEEEE
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2021
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I got consent from the artist to post this here. Source in cowments.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lukub5
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
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Absence of consent
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πŸ‘€︎ u/robuttocks
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
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The age of consent in England was set around 1890.

In my opinion it's way too high. I don't think anyone's lived that long.

Source: http://qdb.us/143464

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeathProgramming
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2017
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My teenage daughter came home from school and she was blazing mad. β€œWe had sex education today, dad and you lied to me! You told me if I have sex before my sixteenth birthday, my boyfriend will die!” I put down my newspaper, looked at her and said…

β€œOh, he will, sweetheart, he will.”

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2018
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Do you think anyone has ever slapped Dwayne Johnson on the butt and then proclaimed, "well I've hit rock bottom"

Edit: get consent people

"Mr. Rock, may I slap your behind for the sake of an amazing pun that the people will remember for years to come"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/asbestos_fingers
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2018
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What do you call a lady with one leg?


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πŸ‘€︎ u/boxymcboxbox
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
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What did the ground say to the tree ?

I didn't like you at first but you're kinda growing on me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperDave937
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2018
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Once upon a time There was a grape and a melon who had a date

The conversation was prety dry, so the grape begun raisin some questions

"Where do you see this relationship going?" he asked

"Look, i may not have my perents consent, but i think we are a nice pear, so don't think i can't-elope"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/etay1903
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2018
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An American man and his son went to Finland.

When they arrived, a cab driver greeted them at the airport. "What should we do on our first day here," the father asked his son, excitedly. The driver interjected, "Well, if you're not natives, I'd suggest the roller coaster that teaches your or language." Confused, the father and son look at one another then back at their guide. "Trust me," he told them, "It's guaranteed or your money back." Having no plans and now both understandably intrigued, the pair agreed. When they arrived at the roller coaster, they were amazed to behold the giant steel skeleton of the most intricate ride they'd ever seen. It had loops, helixes, corkscrews and drops more terrifying than anything they'd ridden back home. The son quickly rescinded his consent and turned you guys father. "There's no way I'm getting on that thing. You go first," he said, "Then you can tell me if it's worth it." Not wanting to seem a coward, the father accepted. Stepping into the first car, he seated himself. As the attendant approached to check his shoulder restraint, her couldn't help but ask, "So how exactly am I supposed to learn an entire language from a roller coaster?" The attendant smiled and replied simply, "You'll see." Anticipation turned to unease as the cars lurched upward towards the first drop. The seconds felt like hours as the car climbed higher and higher, clicking steadily while the chain pulled it skyward. As the nose of the car tipped downward and he could see the enormous drop below, his inner fear turned verbal. Without thinking he screamed, "minΓ€ kuolen!" As he rounded the first turn and into an inverted twist, he debut another exclamation well inside and burst forth. "naida!" He screamed as the ride continued. A few minutes and many foreign-tongued exclamations later, he found himself back at the station trying to catch his breath with the smiling attendant removing his restraints. His ran up to his son and declared, "It really works! I'm not sure how, but it really works!" "How was it?" the son asked unimpressed. "It was a wild ride from start to Finnish." "The son smiled weakly. "Yeah , the cabbie stole our luggage."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CanMan0711
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2017
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Cracked myself up earlier...wife just groaned.

2 year old wanted to pretend my wife was a doctor and he and I were her patients. Aside from my waggling my eyebrows and telling her I'd play doctor with her later, while we were laying on the ground, our cat came up and started sniffing me.

I told my wife that I didn't consent to the CAT scan.

Now she needs a doctor after her eyes rolled out of her head.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lereas
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2016
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Please only come on Eileen

If you are consenting adults who have reached a mutual understanding first

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πŸ‘€︎ u/topderp1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2017
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Dadjoked my friend today

We were talking about our uni's consent policy and my friend says he gives consent with his face. I looked at him and he said

"You know, I've got the Elijah Wood eyes"

and I said, "So the girls always expect a ring?"

Then he groaned while I cracked up.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JJumboShrimp
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2014
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