I once fell in love with a melon farmer’s daughter. But when I asked if she wanted to run away and get married in secret, she turned me down.
She told me she cantaloupe.
Why shouldn't you tell any secrets in a cornfield ?
The secret behind a dad joke is in the delivery
Is what the mailman keeps telling my son.
Every dad stores his jokes in a very secret place...
The secret service has a new protocol if there's a threat in the room with the president
They used to yell down. Now it's
"Donald duck!"
The government started banning alcoholic drinks, so I'm selling liquor in secret.
Why can't melons get married in secret?
I COULD tell you a top secret combination of words which result in the instant death of anyone hearing or reading them..
But then I'd have to kill you.
What do you call a clever yet contemptible Brit who makes chocolate and candy in a super-secret factory?
Deep in the villain’s super secret base
Deep in the villain’s super secret base, he noticed that his 10” concrete filled steel walls looked bare. He asked his minions why was there no large, artistic rendering of his terrifying logo hanging behind his desk.
His minions replied, “We’ve tried everywhere, but we’ve been unable to find a sketchy artist.”
What do you call a glass jar in a secret society?
When I was renovating my house, I found a secret stash hidden in the walls.
Someone drew a mustache on the wall behind the wall paper.
I say my secret superpower is detecting Indian flatbread in any given room.
My friends all say it's naan-sense.
What will newborn babies become if the Goverment use them in a secret military project?
They wil be some fine ass Infantry
Before he died my grandad used to keep a secret cash stash in the toilet cistern.
In the end he was just throwing money down the drain.
After years of holding out on me, my friend finally told me the secret ingredient in his cooking.
Why can't you tell a secret in a corn maze?
Because the walls have ears.
When the heat turns down, we thieves gather in our secret hideout for a meeting.
We call it our Con Den session.
I met the world’s greatest security guard the other day. When I asked him the secret, he said it was all in his name.
The secret to having a smoking hot body in old age?
Why is it hard to keep secrets in the North Pole?
Because your teeth chatter
My pops always said he would go to his grave with his famous BBQ chicken recipe. On his death bead, he had me lean in to tell me the secret ingredient.
That’s when I knew it was Thyme.
Don't tell secrets in corn fields.
Why should you never share secrets in a room with a clock?
The press found out their is a secret vegetable garden in the White House.
The White House leaks made headlines.
So I just got my wife with this one... She asked to go to Victoria's Secret to buy some new underwear... She complained that her favorite pairs had holes in them...
I said "of course they have holes in them, how else are you supposed to get your legs through?"
I could feel the eye roll from across the room
I walked in on my dad washing his secret dime collection today.
He said that he was money laundering.
What's the secret ingredient in God's favorite pizza?
What do cows write their deepest secrets in?
World of Warcraft introduced a scavenger hunt to find a secret item that involved hundreds if not thousands of people in a Discord spending days and days scouring the entire world for little clues.
The secret reward is called Waist of Time.
Well played, Blizzard, well played.
Why can't you tell secrets in a cornfield?
Because the corn has ears. (that's some horror movie sounding stuff right there)
How do spies send secret messages in the forest?
I am going to start Web site that is dedicated to revealing secret recipes that contain vegetables that are in the same family as onion and garlic and are especially good with potatoes.
It will be called wikileeks.com
The Bread Makers met in secret to plan their hostile takeover.
Why can't anyone keep a secret in a bank?
There's just too many tellers. ><
/u/gmorales87 has an amazing dad joke in the askreddit thread about secrets of the airline industries!
Never tell a secret in a cornfield
Never tell a secret in a cornfield.
How do spies send secret messages in the forest?
The Secret Service no longer yell "Get down" when the President is in danger...
They yell "Donald, duck!"
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
