If you crumble Tums over an ant hill, the ants will start making bizarre shapes from the mound...

They'll be tripping on antacid!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nitrocloud
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2019
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What do you call a bunch of very comedic mounds of dirt?


πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ‘€︎ u/dorksuckmepls
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2019
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Today I went out searching for shredded coconut coated in chocolate.

They call me The Bounty Hunter.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ‘€︎ u/Datolite7
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2020
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In the spirit of sharing our kids attempts at dad jokes,

My daughter had to wire an essay about her hobby, which is softball. Her opener:

Pitcher this, you’re standing on a mound.

I was overwhelmed, and more proud than ever. She threw in some other puns too, it was an excellent essay, she’s giving me a run for my money, I batter watch out.

Edit: thank you u/PsychicGnome for the reminder that my kids are better parents than I am

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ‘€︎ u/OnionShanty
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
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Look out for cold sores when sharing candy this Valentine's day...

Mine went from Mounds of Joy to Herpes Kisses.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2020
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What do a group of mountains have in common?

A range of things.

πŸ‘︎ 77
πŸ‘€︎ u/sezel4
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2017
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/r/baseball did not appreciate my post - I think it’s better suited here anyway

I have a bunch of stupid baseball questions. I know most of the rules, I just want to make sure I have all my bases covered.

  • Imagine there’s a fan of the team that is currently fielding in the stands, and that said fan has a prosthetic arm. The batter hits a pitch and sends it on a home-run trajectory into the stands. If the fan in the stands throws his arm at the ball and diverts it back in the field of play, can they rightfully say that they were just β€œlending the team a hand” by stopping the home run?

  • Consider the exact opposite situation - the fan’s team is at bat and the batter hits a fly ball to the outfield. If Elastagirl from the Incredibles just happened to be the fan in question, can she spring into action and catch the ball before the outfielder has the chance to?

  • Now, imagine I smuggled a water gun into the stadium on a particularly hot day, and I managed to squirt sticky black liquid onto the batter. Does that mean he can take a walk since he was β€œhit by pitch”?

  • Consider the freak circumstance where a ball in motion collides with a bird, causing it to spiral in its descent and eventually collide in turn with an umpire. Can the player responsible for the ball’s motion be ejected from the game due to repeatedly flipping the bird at an umpire?

  • Can a losing team sub out their man on the mound with a large quantity of beer to prolong the game? There’d still be a pitcher on the mound!

  • If a pitcher throws a slider into the strike zone and the batter doesn’t swing, should the umpire consider it a strike, a ball, or the catcher’s dinner?

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ‘€︎ u/grumpy_princess
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2019
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My girlfriend and I were on a safari drive in South Africa...

Girlfriend: Oh, that's definitely an aardvark burrow in the termite mound.

Me: ...would you say it's an example of classic aardvarkitecture?

πŸ‘︎ 239
πŸ‘€︎ u/mullse01
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2015
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