45 Hilarious Plate Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

I've just ordered the personalised license plate BAA BAA.

For my black jeep.

👍︎ 11

💬︎

📅︎ Dec 27 2020

With the holidays near, to set a festive atmosphere at your table, be sure you have a shiny chrome plate to hold your condiment sauce. Why?

Because there is no plate like chrome for the hollandaise.

👍︎ 41

💬︎

👤︎ u/IranRPCV

📅︎ Nov 18 2020

🚨︎ report

The Theory of Plate Tectonics is on pretty shaky ground.

👍︎ 16

💬︎

👤︎ u/JaredLiwet

📅︎ Oct 30 2020

🚨︎ report

The greatest baseball player ever was a guy named Hugh McBealy, and he was most famous for every single time he came to the plate knocking the ball high over right field and into the stands.

He scored a home run every single at bat, and always the exact same way. Way over right field, too high for anyone to reach, and it always landed in exactly the 17th row of the stands, give or take a couple feet.

He earned the nickname “the machine” for how consistently he hit the exact same spot every time. Right field, 17th row, every single time. He did this for 20 years before he retired. Tickets to the 2-3 seats that the ball always landed on sold for over $2k a pop by the time he retired because you were guaranteed at least a couple home run balls.

And the day he retired a reporter asked him “How does it feel to be retiring as the greatest hitter of all time?”

Hugh just looked at the reporter puzzled. “What do you mean?” He said.

The reporter clarified “literally over 5,000 times you went to the plate and hit a home run to right field, 17th row of the stands!”

Hugh looked dejected and disappointed “yeah, my greatest failure...”

“What do you mean?” Said the reporter incredulously.

Hugh let’s out a long sigh, and looked down at the ground quietly for a moment before finally speaking.

“I’ve been aiming left this whole time”

👍︎ 3

💬︎

👤︎ u/Frnklfrwsr

📅︎ Nov 12 2020

🚨︎ report

My wife has this weird OCD where she arranges the dinner plates by the year they were bought.

It is an extremely rare dish order.

👍︎ 63

💬︎

👤︎ u/porichoygupto

📅︎ Sep 18 2020

🚨︎ report

I said to her, are going to eat that whole plate of spaghetti??

She said: no, it's in pasta bowl

👍︎ 3

💬︎

👤︎ u/uneeq33

📅︎ Oct 01 2020

🚨︎ report

Minding my own business, when someone I thought was my friend threw a serving plate full of bumblebees at me.

I was bee-trayed.

👍︎ 6

💬︎

👤︎ u/ThaStrangr

📅︎ Oct 19 2020

🚨︎ report

Cops should feed beans on very tiny plates to the suspects they're interrogating.

That way they're always gonna end up spilling the beans.

👍︎ 8

💬︎

👤︎ u/Cryingcactuso

📅︎ Sep 12 2020

🚨︎ report

I don't think the Tectonic Plates cause earthquakes

but people do say I'm loyal to a fault.

👍︎ 2

💬︎

👤︎ u/ShiftyMcShift

📅︎ Oct 29 2020

🚨︎ report

Is plate throwing a really an Olympic sport?

Discuss

👍︎ 5

💬︎

👤︎ u/Boris_Donut

📅︎ Oct 19 2020

🚨︎ report

Frogs don’t put pulled pork on their plates at a barbecue

They just rib it.

👍︎ 3

💬︎

👤︎ u/CJCray8

📅︎ Oct 21 2020

🚨︎ report

What did Donald Trump say when his wife chucked a plate across the room

CHINA FLUUU

👍︎ 3

💬︎

👤︎ u/barrybilly2

📅︎ Oct 13 2020

🚨︎ report

What did one plate say to the other?

Dinner’s on me

👍︎ 15

💬︎

👤︎ u/mycorona69

📅︎ Aug 12 2020

🚨︎ report

My rooster is an artist. He draws on plates and I add arms and numbers, but for the life of me I can’t tell if he’s drawing snakes, mountains, teepee’s, etc., so I finally asked him and he said:

Clock’s a doodled doo.

👍︎ 5

💬︎

👤︎ u/StretchSmiley

📅︎ Aug 26 2020

🚨︎ report

One tectonic plate bumped into another and then said

Sorry, My fault

👍︎ 77

💬︎

👤︎ u/WDizzle

📅︎ Jul 10 2020

🚨︎ report

When the wife asks if you’re cool with paper plates

And you say, how much is it per plate?

(Pay-per plate)

👍︎ 5

💬︎

👤︎ u/SkizzyLeBizzy

📅︎ Sep 08 2020

🚨︎ report

What did the plate say to the refrigerator?

"Stay cool. Dinner's on me"

👍︎ 5

💬︎

👤︎ u/infinitywee

📅︎ Sep 07 2020

🚨︎ report

I started taking our taco ingredients to make nachos on my plate when my kids started yelling "BUT IT'S TACO TUESDAY!"

To which I replied "This is nacho average Taco Tuesday"

👍︎ 53

💬︎

👤︎ u/bearnakedgamer

📅︎ Jun 23 2020

🚨︎ report

What did one plate say to another?

Lunch' s on me!

👍︎ 13

💬︎

👤︎ u/thatdoginapan

📅︎ Aug 17 2020

🚨︎ report

The next generation will be Cup, Plate, and Bowl

👍︎ 529

💬︎

👤︎ u/Geng_r

📅︎ Jan 13 2020

🚨︎ report

What do you call a plate of spaghetti that sells itself?

A pasta-tute

👍︎ 13

💬︎

👤︎ u/pantlesspatrick

📅︎ Jun 27 2020

🚨︎ report

At the company picnic, my co-worker said he had some juicy gossip. He loaded up his plate but tripped on the way to my table...

He spilled the beans!

👍︎ 2

💬︎

👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline

📅︎ Aug 03 2020

🚨︎ report

Why did Don Corleone send back the plate for his coffee cup?

Someone gave him a saucer he could not reuse.

👍︎ 7

💬︎

👤︎ u/zedhead0628

📅︎ Jun 17 2020

🚨︎ report

What did the dinner plate say?

Dinner is on me

👍︎ 30

💬︎

👤︎ u/no1krampus

📅︎ May 31 2020

🚨︎ report

Lost a pea off my plate at dinner.

I had an escape-pea!

👍︎ 3

💬︎

👤︎ u/Notts90

📅︎ May 12 2020

🚨︎ report

At the last buffet I went to, I ate two plates.

I wish I would have found the food.

👍︎ 6

💬︎

👤︎ u/OK_Compooper

📅︎ Jun 03 2020

🚨︎ report

My SO: "Can I get you a plate ready for the dinner?"

"Yes, si vous plate."

👍︎ 10

💬︎

👤︎ u/imdchange

📅︎ May 26 2020

🚨︎ report

I saw a documentary on how metal plates are fixed

Riveting!

👍︎ 6

💬︎

👤︎ u/saviounderscore

📅︎ May 10 2020

🚨︎ report

We got sent extra bumper plates for weight lifting.

👍︎ 3

💬︎

👤︎ u/JCtheWanderingCrow

📅︎ Mar 06 2020

🚨︎ report

I bought a secured warehouse where I keep appliances to clean pots, pans, plates, and silverware.

It's dishwasher safe!

👍︎ 2

💬︎

👤︎ u/DinglebarryHandpump

📅︎ Apr 29 2020

🚨︎ report

My mom's personalized number plate says "IS♥️ED" and we always believed that it was short for "Is Loved." But then my dad had to ruin it for us all when he said it meant:

"I Sharted."

👍︎ 131

💬︎

👤︎ u/Jan_Tik

📅︎ Oct 15 2019

🚨︎ report

Tectonic Plates