I've just ordered the personalised license plate BAA BAA.
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︎ Dec 27 2020
With the holidays near, to set a festive atmosphere at your table, be sure you have a shiny chrome plate to hold your condiment sauce. Why?
Because there is no plate like chrome for the hollandaise.
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︎ Nov 18 2020
The Theory of Plate Tectonics is on pretty shaky ground.
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︎ Oct 30 2020
The greatest baseball player ever was a guy named Hugh McBealy, and he was most famous for every single time he came to the plate knocking the ball high over right field and into the stands.
He scored a home run every single at bat, and always the exact same way. Way over right field, too high for anyone to reach, and it always landed in exactly the 17th row of the stands, give or take a couple feet.
He earned the nickname βthe machineβ for how consistently he hit the exact same spot every time. Right field, 17th row, every single time. He did this for 20 years before he retired. Tickets to the 2-3 seats that the ball always landed on sold for over $2k a pop by the time he retired because you were guaranteed at least a couple home run balls.
And the day he retired a reporter asked him βHow does it feel to be retiring as the greatest hitter of all time?β
Hugh just looked at the reporter puzzled. βWhat do you mean?β He said.
The reporter clarified βliterally over 5,000 times you went to the plate and hit a home run to right field, 17th row of the stands!β
Hugh looked dejected and disappointed βyeah, my greatest failure...β
βWhat do you mean?β Said the reporter incre
...
keep reading on reddit β‘
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︎ Nov 12 2020
My wife has this weird OCD where she arranges the dinner plates by the year they were bought.
It is an extremely rare dish order.
π︎ 63
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︎ Sep 18 2020
I said to her, are going to eat that whole plate of spaghetti??
She said: no, it's in pasta bowl
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︎ Oct 01 2020
Minding my own business, when someone I thought was my friend threw a serving plate full of bumblebees at me.
π︎ 6
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︎ Oct 19 2020
Cops should feed beans on very tiny plates to the suspects they're interrogating.
That way they're always gonna end up spilling the beans.
π︎ 8
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︎ Sep 12 2020
I don't think the Tectonic Plates cause earthquakes
but people do say I'm loyal to a fault.
π︎ 2
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︎ Oct 29 2020
Is plate throwing a really an Olympic sport?
π︎ 5
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︎ Oct 19 2020
Frogs donβt put pulled pork on their plates at a barbecue
π︎ 3
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︎ Oct 21 2020
What did Donald Trump say when his wife chucked a plate across the room
π︎ 3
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︎ Oct 13 2020
What did one plate say to the other?
π︎ 15
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︎ Aug 12 2020
My rooster is an artist. He draws on plates and I add arms and numbers, but for the life of me I canβt tell if heβs drawing snakes, mountains, teepeeβs, etc., so I finally asked him and he said:
π︎ 5
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︎ Aug 26 2020
One tectonic plate bumped into another and then said
π︎ 77
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︎ Jul 10 2020
What did one plate say to the other plate?
π︎ 7
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︎ Sep 15 2020
When the wife asks if youβre cool with paper plates
And you say, how much is it per plate?
(Pay-per plate)
π︎ 5
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︎ Sep 08 2020
What did the plate say to the refrigerator?
"Stay cool. Dinner's on me"
π︎ 5
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︎ Sep 07 2020
I started taking our taco ingredients to make nachos on my plate when my kids started yelling "BUT IT'S TACO TUESDAY!"
To which I replied "This is nacho average Taco Tuesday"
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︎ Jun 23 2020
What did the tectonic plate say when it bumped into another tectonic plate?
π︎ 1k
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︎ Feb 07 2020
What did one plate say to another?
π︎ 13
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︎ Aug 17 2020
The next generation will be Cup, Plate, and Bowl
π︎ 529
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︎ Jan 13 2020
What do you call a plate of spaghetti that sells itself?
π︎ 13
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︎ Jun 27 2020
At the company picnic, my co-worker said he had some juicy gossip. He loaded up his plate but tripped on the way to my table...
π︎ 2
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︎ Aug 03 2020
Why did Don Corleone send back the plate for his coffee cup?
Someone gave him a saucer he could not reuse.
π︎ 7
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︎ Jun 17 2020
What did the dinner plate say?
π︎ 30
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︎ May 31 2020
Lost a pea off my plate at dinner.
π︎ 3
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︎ May 12 2020
At the last buffet I went to, I ate two plates.
I wish I would have found the food.
π︎ 6
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︎ Jun 03 2020
My SO: "Can I get you a plate ready for the dinner?"
π︎ 10
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︎ May 26 2020
What did one plate say to the other plate?
π︎ 314
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︎ Nov 04 2019
I saw a documentary on how metal plates are fixed
π︎ 6
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︎ May 10 2020
We got sent extra bumper plates for weight lifting.
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︎ Mar 06 2020
I bought a secured warehouse where I keep appliances to clean pots, pans, plates, and silverware.
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︎ Apr 29 2020
My mom's personalized number plate says "ISβ₯οΈED" and we always believed that it was short for "Is Loved." But then my dad had to ruin it for us all when he said it meant:
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︎ Oct 15 2019
Tectonic Plates
π︎ 44
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︎ Aug 16 2019
One tectonic plate bumps into another..
And says: sorry, my fault
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︎ Aug 30 2019
We wheely wanted plates
π︎ 4
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︎ Jan 11 2020
When Sean Connery was a boy, people would often find him cleaning plates when they arrived.
His Mother would always turn around and say "dishes Sean Connery"
π︎ 5
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︎ Mar 04 2020
I just discovered what first, second, third and home plates were in baseball...
That's the bases of the sport.
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︎ Mar 17 2020
My wife has this weird OCD where she arranges the dinner plates by the year it was bought.
It's an extremely rare dish order.
π︎ 45
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︎ Sep 22 2020
My wife has this weird OCD where she arranges the dinner plates by the year they were bought.
Itβs an extremely rare dish order.
π︎ 80
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︎ Jun 03 2020
My wife has this weird OCD where she arranges the dinner plates by the year they were bought.
Itβs an extremely rare dish order.
π︎ 19k
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︎ Apr 30 2019
What did one plate say to the other?
π︎ 170
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︎ Jan 30 2020
My wife has this weird OCD where she arranges the dinner plates by the year they were bought.
Itβs an extremely rare dish order.
π︎ 287
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︎ Jan 27 2020
My wife has this weird OCD where she arranges the dinner plates by the year they were bought.
Itβs an extremely rare dish order.
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︎ Mar 30 2020
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