I've just ordered the personalised license plate BAA BAA.

For my black jeep.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
🚨︎ report
With the holidays near, to set a festive atmosphere at your table, be sure you have a shiny chrome plate to hold your condiment sauce. Why?

Because there is no plate like chrome for the hollandaise.

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IranRPCV
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
The Theory of Plate Tectonics is on pretty shaky ground.
πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JaredLiwet
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
🚨︎ report
The greatest baseball player ever was a guy named Hugh McBealy, and he was most famous for every single time he came to the plate knocking the ball high over right field and into the stands.

He scored a home run every single at bat, and always the exact same way. Way over right field, too high for anyone to reach, and it always landed in exactly the 17th row of the stands, give or take a couple feet.

He earned the nickname β€œthe machine” for how consistently he hit the exact same spot every time. Right field, 17th row, every single time. He did this for 20 years before he retired. Tickets to the 2-3 seats that the ball always landed on sold for over $2k a pop by the time he retired because you were guaranteed at least a couple home run balls.

And the day he retired a reporter asked him β€œHow does it feel to be retiring as the greatest hitter of all time?”

Hugh just looked at the reporter puzzled. β€œWhat do you mean?” He said.

The reporter clarified β€œliterally over 5,000 times you went to the plate and hit a home run to right field, 17th row of the stands!”

Hugh looked dejected and disappointed β€œyeah, my greatest failure...”

β€œWhat do you mean?” Said the reporter incre

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Frnklfrwsr
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife has this weird OCD where she arranges the dinner plates by the year they were bought.

It is an extremely rare dish order.

πŸ‘︎ 63
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I said to her, are going to eat that whole plate of spaghetti??

She said: no, it's in pasta bowl

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/uneeq33
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Minding my own business, when someone I thought was my friend threw a serving plate full of bumblebees at me.

I was bee-trayed.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThaStrangr
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Cops should feed beans on very tiny plates to the suspects they're interrogating.

That way they're always gonna end up spilling the beans.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cryingcactuso
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I don't think the Tectonic Plates cause earthquakes

but people do say I'm loyal to a fault.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShiftyMcShift
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Is plate throwing a really an Olympic sport?

Discuss

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Boris_Donut
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Frogs don’t put pulled pork on their plates at a barbecue

They just rib it.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CJCray8
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What did Donald Trump say when his wife chucked a plate across the room

CHINA FLUUU

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/barrybilly2
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What did one plate say to the other?

Dinner’s on me

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mycorona69
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
🚨︎ report
My rooster is an artist. He draws on plates and I add arms and numbers, but for the life of me I can’t tell if he’s drawing snakes, mountains, teepee’s, etc., so I finally asked him and he said:

Clock’s a doodled doo.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StretchSmiley
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
🚨︎ report
One tectonic plate bumped into another and then said

Sorry, My fault

πŸ‘︎ 77
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WDizzle
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What did one plate say to the other plate?

Lunch is on me

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/seafaringajax
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
🚨︎ report
When the wife asks if you’re cool with paper plates

And you say, how much is it per plate?

(Pay-per plate)

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SkizzyLeBizzy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the plate say to the refrigerator?

"Stay cool. Dinner's on me"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/infinitywee
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I started taking our taco ingredients to make nachos on my plate when my kids started yelling "BUT IT'S TACO TUESDAY!"

To which I replied "This is nacho average Taco Tuesday"

πŸ‘︎ 53
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bearnakedgamer
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the tectonic plate say when it bumped into another tectonic plate?

Sorry, that's my fault.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/detivninu
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What did one plate say to another?

Lunch' s on me!

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thatdoginapan
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
🚨︎ report
The next generation will be Cup, Plate, and Bowl
πŸ‘︎ 529
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Geng_r
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a plate of spaghetti that sells itself?

A pasta-tute

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pantlesspatrick
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
🚨︎ report
At the company picnic, my co-worker said he had some juicy gossip. He loaded up his plate but tripped on the way to my table...

He spilled the beans!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did Don Corleone send back the plate for his coffee cup?

Someone gave him a saucer he could not reuse.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the dinner plate say?

Dinner is on me

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/no1krampus
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Lost a pea off my plate at dinner.

I had an escape-pea!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Notts90
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
🚨︎ report
At the last buffet I went to, I ate two plates.

I wish I would have found the food.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OK_Compooper
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2020
🚨︎ report
My SO: "Can I get you a plate ready for the dinner?"

"Yes, si vous plate."

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/imdchange
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What did one plate say to the other plate?

Dinner is on me!

πŸ‘︎ 314
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I saw a documentary on how metal plates are fixed

Riveting!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/saviounderscore
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2020
🚨︎ report
We got sent extra bumper plates for weight lifting.
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2020
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I bought a secured warehouse where I keep appliances to clean pots, pans, plates, and silverware.

It's dishwasher safe!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2020
🚨︎ report
My mom's personalized number plate says "ISβ™₯️ED" and we always believed that it was short for "Is Loved." But then my dad had to ruin it for us all when he said it meant:

"I Sharted."

πŸ‘︎ 131
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Tectonic Plates
πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moongovernor
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2019
🚨︎ report
One tectonic plate bumps into another..

And says: sorry, my fault

πŸ‘︎ 245
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lavacadotoast
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2019
🚨︎ report
We wheely wanted plates
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gttymir
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2020
🚨︎ report
When Sean Connery was a boy, people would often find him cleaning plates when they arrived.

His Mother would always turn around and say "dishes Sean Connery"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I just discovered what first, second, third and home plates were in baseball...

That's the bases of the sport.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife has this weird OCD where she arranges the dinner plates by the year it was bought.

It's an extremely rare dish order.

πŸ‘︎ 45
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sunken-ship-daddy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife has this weird OCD where she arranges the dinner plates by the year they were bought.

It’s an extremely rare dish order.

πŸ‘︎ 80
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife has this weird OCD where she arranges the dinner plates by the year they were bought.

It’s an extremely rare dish order.

πŸ‘︎ 19k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2019
🚨︎ report
What did one plate say to the other?

Lunch is on me

πŸ‘︎ 170
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yashrajt
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife has this weird OCD where she arranges the dinner plates by the year they were bought.

It’s an extremely rare dish order.

πŸ‘︎ 287
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife has this weird OCD where she arranges the dinner plates by the year they were bought.

It’s an extremely rare dish order.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2020
🚨︎ report

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