What's the difference between the parmesian cheese on your food and on your plate?

One is parmesian.

One is parmisoff.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2019
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Got my girlfriend at a Mexican restaurant. She was still telling people about it later that night.

She asked if I minded her taking some cheese dip off of my plate.

I told her, "Of course not. Mi queso es su queso."

πŸ‘︎ 53
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πŸ‘€︎ u/doaktionary
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2015
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After the stock market crash, the former millionaire was depressed

He was used to living the good life, and all the perks that go with it. His refined palette missed the fine dining, at five-star restaurants run by top chefs. Now reduced to eating macaroni and cheese with hotdogs, he looked down at his plate and contemplated suicide.

It was a wurst case scenario.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Possum
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2017
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Egg on the pan, egg on the plate

I (husband) am good at making egg dishes for breakfast. Me and the wifey were talking about the first time I met her family, when I made them an omelette with goat cheese and spinach. They were all very impressed.

Wifey: "My parents never cooked like that when I was growing up. For them, it was just egg on the pan, egg on the plate."

Me: "I can see how that would be unpleasant, especially if they didn't crack the shells first."

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fudgebert
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2013
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Customer got me today.

I work part time managing a vineyard's tasting room. We serve a cheese plate and we tell people what kind of cheeses are on it. So I serve one and I get to the last cheese.

"This is a Vermont cave aged Gouda."

His response was, "I guess I'll find out how Gouda it is."

I think I'll steal it for the next time I serve one.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cheese464
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2015
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One of my friends showed his dad aptitude over lunch today.

I had to run a couple of errands between then and now, so my memory might be a bit fuzzy, but I'll do best.

Friend 1: "Sarah"

Friend 2: "Shawn"

Future dad: "Sam"

Sarah: There is no good way to eat a taco. (There is a dismembered taco sitting on her plate.)

Shawn: I know, right? It's seriously the worst-designed food, like, ever.

Sarah: Back in [hometown], there's this restaurant that sells authentic Mexican tacos. There's no grease or anything, just chunks of chicken with guacamole and salsa and a bit of cheese on top, and it's SO GOOD. I really shouldn't even talk about them, it's just making me homesick.

Sam: You mean you shouldn't taco 'bout them?

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/teuast
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2013
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