How do you determine the mass of a red hot chili pepper?
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now
ποΈ 9k
π
οΈ Apr 25 2021
A group of physicists came to my restaurant today, ate then explained what the force required to accelerate a mass of one gram at a rate of one centimeter per second squared is. Then when my attention was elsewhere, they all left, leaving behind a bunch of hyphens...
I should have known they'd dyne and dash.
ποΈ 13
π
οΈ Apr 25 2021
Mass hysteria
ποΈ 59
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οΈ Feb 21 2021
My daughter (6) and I were watching a show where the phrase βgelatinous massβ came up..
..so I blurted out, βThatβs what jellyfish call church!β
rimshot
ποΈ 9
π
οΈ Feb 24 2021
What is the mass of a hipster?
ποΈ 14
π
οΈ Feb 19 2021
I fell asleep during Catholic mass.
I'm a Bored Again Christian.
ποΈ 14
π
οΈ Dec 30 2020
I thought I found a mass grave of snowmen yesterday....
.....but it turned out to be a field of carrots.
ποΈ 13
π
οΈ Nov 09 2020
Letβs just ignore the fact that would cause mass traffic
ποΈ 2k
π
οΈ Feb 02 2020
What do you call a large land mass that uncontrollably leaks into the ocean?
ποΈ 9
π
οΈ Dec 01 2020
I asked my Dad βWhatβs the difference between weight and mass?β
βWell, son. Weight is your size in relation to the Earthβs gravity.
Mass is what Catholics go to Sunday morning.β
ποΈ 25
π
οΈ Sep 03 2020
This gives a whole new meaning to Mass Shooting!
ποΈ 54
π
οΈ May 26 2020
We have migrated from mass hysteria to mask hysteria.
ποΈ 3
π
οΈ Jul 28 2020
If Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight, there would be mass confusion
ποΈ 10k
π
οΈ May 08 2018
Where do large sea mammals go to get their body mass measured?
ποΈ 3
π
οΈ Aug 26 2020
Electrons have mass?!
I didnβt even know they were catholic!
ποΈ 81
π
οΈ May 05 2020
"Mass confusion"
ποΈ 4k
π
οΈ May 08 2018
Why is a Catholic Mass like The Gunfight At The O.K. Corral?
ποΈ 4
π
οΈ Aug 15 2020
You're living, you occupy space, and you have mass. You know what that means?
ποΈ 7
π
οΈ Apr 29 2020
Did you hear the one about the mass murderer who only hunted vegetarians?
ποΈ 3
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οΈ Jul 27 2020
A woman is running up the front stairs of a church. She asks the boy sitting at the top, "Is mass out?" The little boy looks at her and says...
"No, but your hat's on crooked."
ποΈ 13
π
οΈ Mar 26 2020
Churches had to disband when it was announced there would be no more mass gatherings.
They followed the guidance religiously.
ποΈ 6
π
οΈ Mar 25 2020
Why doesnβt light have mass?
If it did, it wouldβve be called heavy.
ποΈ 2
π
οΈ Jun 02 2020
High mass in the extraordinary form
ποΈ 26
π
οΈ Sep 29 2019
Black holes are the biggest mass murderers
ποΈ 4
π
οΈ Mar 01 2020
I just checked my body mass index. It says I'm a beast
ποΈ 3
π
οΈ May 10 2020
There was this news reporter who enjoyed incorporating puns into their reports. One day, they had to cover the story of a mass stabbing. Unfortunately, the reporter couldn't think of a pun so they just sighed and went on to report the news how it was...
"Sorry, no pun n' ten dead"
ποΈ 21
π
οΈ Feb 25 2020
Where did they used to mass produce scents and smells?
ποΈ 5
π
οΈ Apr 03 2020
The media says that video games is a main cause for mass shootings
But really, it's music that causes gun violins
ποΈ 6
π
οΈ Nov 29 2019
Pretty old mass joke ngl
Why doesn't the usa change their measures from pounds to kgs?
Because it would cause mass confusion
ποΈ 4
π
οΈ Aug 26 2019
What did the vegan say at mass
ποΈ 8
π
οΈ Oct 27 2019
Why did the pope wear crocs to mass?
Because they're his holey shoes
ποΈ 17
π
οΈ Nov 25 2019
I was going to make a pun about Mass Effect...
...but I figure if I did, I'd be Asari.
ποΈ 11
π
οΈ Apr 17 2018
Dad just texted me this, caused a mass groan when I read it out to the people I was with
Someone through threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me. Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
ποΈ 2k
π
οΈ Apr 02 2014
A pun walks alone into a mass murder of 10 people..
ποΈ 2
π
οΈ Aug 28 2019
My very religious Aunt attends mass daily.
She says that's because missing church for seven days makes one weak!
ποΈ 2
π
οΈ Sep 23 2019
I put on a show about grams. It was a mass production
ποΈ 3
π
οΈ Sep 03 2019
What do you call a white woolly mass snoring on a field?
ποΈ 9
π
οΈ Jun 25 2019
ποΈ 4
π
οΈ Nov 17 2018
Did you know that protons have mass?
I didn't even know they were Catholic.
ποΈ 23
π
οΈ Dec 08 2019
How do you measure the mass of a Red Hot Chili Pepper?
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now.
ποΈ 240
π
οΈ Mar 21 2019
Did you know that protons had mass?
I didn't even know they were catholic.
ποΈ 12
π
οΈ Feb 28 2020
Did you know that protons have mass?
I didn't even know they were catholic.
ποΈ 79
π
οΈ Aug 25 2019
Did you know that protons have mass?
I had no clue they were Catholic!
ποΈ 10
π
οΈ Jun 29 2019
Youβre living, you occupy space and you have mass you know what that means... (stolen from tumblr)
ποΈ 5
π
οΈ Apr 14 2019
Did you know that protons have mass?
I didn't even know they were Catholic
ποΈ 46
π
οΈ May 05 2019
How do you murder mass?
ποΈ 29
π
οΈ Feb 28 2019
What's the mass of that chili pepper?
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now!
ποΈ 13
π
οΈ Jul 05 2018
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