cow puns in the WCGW comment section
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︎ May 18 2020
Excellent cow puns
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︎ Mar 22 2019
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︎ Oct 15 2013
[Request] Needed: Cow Puns
So, I don't if this is the appropriate place for this, but I need a boat-load of cow puns for a D&D campaign. Any all and jokes are both welcomed and needed.
They can be as subtle or as obvious or as cringey as you'd like.
Examples:
A slingshot built from straps set up between the pair of Minotaur horns. A Bullista, if you will.
A character named Timothy Jacobs (Timoothy Jacowbs)
There is a ritual among Minotaur where they fight over the best food served. This is called a Cudstody battle.
Thank you for your help!
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︎ Jul 28 2015
Who is a young cow's favorite author?
Moo Willems.
(By my four year old... She's really been milking the cow puns lately.)
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︎ Aug 05 2019
There were 30 cows and 28 chicken. How many didn't?
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︎ Apr 19 2021
I told my daughter, βGo to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field.β Puzzled, she asked, βWhatβs that got to do with anything?β I chuckled, "Well, that means..."
"Itβs pasture bedtime!β
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︎ Mar 26 2021
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet
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︎ Apr 23 2021
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns donβt work
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︎ Apr 27 2021
Why were the cows always returning to the marijuana field?
It was the pot calling the cattle back.
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︎ Apr 20 2021
How does a cow introduce his wife?
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︎ Apr 27 2021
My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana.
The steaks have never been so highβ¦
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︎ Apr 10 2021
A hemp farmer noticed his cows were out in his hemp field.
He wrangled them all back into the pasture. Later he found them all back in his hemp field. It was the pot calling the cattle back.
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︎ Apr 17 2021
Did you hear about the farmer that just got sentenced for killing his neighbors cow?
After a quick investigation, the Prosecutor was able to turn it into a brief case.
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︎ Apr 28 2021
I saw a cow today that wouldnβt stop smiling
I guess he was just in a good mood
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︎ Apr 26 2021
9yo shared this one with me: What do you call a cow who just had a baby?
De-calf-inated!
Edit: it's been pointed out some people pronounce calf as cΔlf, so its taking a second. Pronounce it like decaffeinated coffee.
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︎ Feb 24 2021
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns donβt work. π
(Courtesy of my 9 year old).
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︎ Apr 10 2021
What do you call a shapeshifting cow?
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︎ May 02 2021
I got some butter today from my friend's cow, but it tasted just like my own!
I called it my butter from another udder.
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︎ Apr 30 2021
What is the greatest goal for a cow?
To become outstanding in their field.
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︎ May 01 2021
Why do Americans think cow tipping is hard.
It is difficult to calculate 20% in Imperial System
>!This is a play on the word "tipping", which means....(A)Pushing a cow over.............(B)Tipping a generous amount of 20% after dinner!<
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︎ May 03 2021
My herd of cows got loose and wandered into a field of Marijuana
The stakes have never been so high
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︎ Apr 11 2021
How do Farmers greet their cows?
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︎ Apr 09 2021
What do you get when a cow is caught in an earthquake?
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︎ Apr 11 2021
"Look at that flock of cows"
"Herd of cows"
"Course I have, I go there every year for the regatta"
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︎ Apr 16 2021
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn't matter, it's not coming.
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︎ May 03 2021
I have a cow joke for all of you...
You probably havenβt herd of it.
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︎ Mar 24 2021
What is a cow's favorite place to go to?
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︎ Apr 03 2021
I was wondering who weighed more, cows or horses
Sure, the horse is bigger, but the cow looks BEEFY
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︎ May 03 2021
A gang of outlaw cows rob a bank and flee..
The police track them to a motel, but can't narrow it down further. They call the judge and he writes out a warrant to search room #8 at the motel. Police break down the door and arrest the gang of cows with the stash.
Later the police captain calls the judge, "Your honor, how did you know where the gang would be hiding?"
Judge says, "It's easy Captain. Cows always room in 8".
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︎ Apr 29 2021
How do you count cows?
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︎ Apr 10 2021
Where do you find a cow with no legs ?
Exactly where you left it.
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︎ Apr 02 2021
What do you call a stupid cow?
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︎ Mar 18 2021
How do Mexican cows say thank you?
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︎ Apr 27 2021
What do you call a cow thatβs masturbating...
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︎ Mar 30 2021
What do you call a cow thatβs too smart for its own good?
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︎ May 02 2021
What do you call a cow in a cactus field?
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︎ Apr 26 2021
A cow, a chicken and a pig go to Mac Donalds.
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︎ Apr 17 2021
Did you hear about the cow that tried to jump a barbed wire fence?
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︎ Feb 22 2021
How does a cow walk?
One foot in front of the udder.
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︎ Mar 30 2021
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks youβ¦
"What about the udder one?"
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︎ Apr 07 2021
Why did the Cows return to the marijuana field?
It was the pot calling the cattle back.
Edit: Thank you for the awards.
I was expecting this to go noticed like most of my other posts. You peeps rock!
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︎ Jan 16 2021
I NEED ORIGINAL COW PUNS can you suggest any please?
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︎ Aug 31 2018
I told my 7 year old daughter, "Go to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field."
Puzzled she asked, "What's that got to do with anything?
I chuckled, "Well that means....its pasture bedtime. "
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︎ Apr 18 2021
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns dont work
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︎ Apr 21 2021
Why do cows wear bells?
Their horns donβt work.
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︎ Apr 08 2021
What do you call a cow after an abortion?
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︎ Apr 22 2021
I told my daughter, "Go to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field." She said, "What's that got to do with anything?"
I said "That means it's pasture bedtime."
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︎ Nov 15 2020
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