cow puns in the WCGW comment section
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HereIsNoukster
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
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Excellent cow puns
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JIM45954
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2019
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A few things my father taught me (Cow Puns) imgur.com/gallery/mEVb9K3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/conaer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2013
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[Request] Needed: Cow Puns

So, I don't if this is the appropriate place for this, but I need a boat-load of cow puns for a D&D campaign. Any all and jokes are both welcomed and needed.

They can be as subtle or as obvious or as cringey as you'd like.

Examples:

A slingshot built from straps set up between the pair of Minotaur horns. A Bullista, if you will.

A character named Timothy Jacobs (Timoothy Jacowbs)

There is a ritual among Minotaur where they fight over the best food served. This is called a Cudstody battle.

Thank you for your help!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kunk180
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2015
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Who is a young cow's favorite author?

Moo Willems.

(By my four year old... She's really been milking the cow puns lately.)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bondjimbond
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2019
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There were 30 cows and 28 chicken. How many didn't?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rozen007
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2021
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I told my daughter, β€œGo to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field.” Puzzled, she asked, β€œWhat’s that got to do with anything?” I chuckled, "Well, that means..."

"It’s pasture bedtime!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2021
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Why do cows have hooves instead of feet

Cause they lactose

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Computercreeper3
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2021
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don’t work

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πŸ‘€︎ u/t_bone_stake
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2021
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Why were the cows always returning to the marijuana field?

It was the pot calling the cattle back.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DadJoker1988
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2021
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How does a cow introduce his wife?

Guys, meet Patty.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thumbs0fDestiny
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2021
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My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana.

The steaks have never been so high…

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2021
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A hemp farmer noticed his cows were out in his hemp field.

He wrangled them all back into the pasture. Later he found them all back in his hemp field. It was the pot calling the cattle back.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PensionNo8124
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2021
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Did you hear about the farmer that just got sentenced for killing his neighbors cow?

After a quick investigation, the Prosecutor was able to turn it into a brief case.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/skycooper11
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2021
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I saw a cow today that wouldn’t stop smiling

I guess he was just in a good mood

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The9thBellow
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2021
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9yo shared this one with me: What do you call a cow who just had a baby?

De-calf-inated!

Edit: it's been pointed out some people pronounce calf as cālf, so its taking a second. Pronounce it like decaffeinated coffee.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Oliumzen
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2021
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don’t work. πŸ˜†

(Courtesy of my 9 year old).

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JakeMann220
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2021
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What do you call a shapeshifting cow?

Flexibull

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πŸ“…︎ May 02 2021
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I got some butter today from my friend's cow, but it tasted just like my own!

I called it my butter from another udder.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/False_Grit
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2021
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What is the greatest goal for a cow?

To become outstanding in their field.

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πŸ“…︎ May 01 2021
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Why do Americans think cow tipping is hard.

It is difficult to calculate 20% in Imperial System

>!This is a play on the word "tipping", which means....(A)Pushing a cow over.............(B)Tipping a generous amount of 20% after dinner!<

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Esmeralda_i
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2021
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My herd of cows got loose and wandered into a field of Marijuana

The stakes have never been so high

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πŸ‘€︎ u/judahthelion014
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2021
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How do Farmers greet their cows?

Hay

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πŸ‘€︎ u/geckheck
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2021
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What do you get when a cow is caught in an earthquake?

A milkshake

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2021
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"Look at that flock of cows"

"Herd of cows"

"Course I have, I go there every year for the regatta"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/widmerpool_nz
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2021
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs?

Lean beef.

What do you call a dog with no legs?

Doesn't matter, it's not coming.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cleetus12
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2021
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I have a cow joke for all of you...

You probably haven’t herd of it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aku223
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2021
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What is a cow's favorite place to go to?

The MOO-vie theater...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brady01234
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2021
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I was wondering who weighed more, cows or horses

Sure, the horse is bigger, but the cow looks BEEFY

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Randomuser3950
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2021
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A gang of outlaw cows rob a bank and flee..

The police track them to a motel, but can't narrow it down further. They call the judge and he writes out a warrant to search room #8 at the motel. Police break down the door and arrest the gang of cows with the stash.

Later the police captain calls the judge, "Your honor, how did you know where the gang would be hiding?"

Judge says, "It's easy Captain. Cows always room in 8".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LateralAxes
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2021
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How do you count cows?

With a cowculator.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2021
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Where do you find a cow with no legs ?

Exactly where you left it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2021
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What do you call a stupid cow?

A moo-ron

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πŸ‘€︎ u/civilisedcannibal
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2021
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How do Mexican cows say thank you?

Moooooochas Grassyas

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Justlikeyourmoma
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2021
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What do you call a cow that’s masturbating...

Beef stroganoff.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Flamingo_The_Pink
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2021
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What do you call a cow that’s too smart for its own good?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/UmDeTrois
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2021
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What do you call a cow in a cactus field?

Holy cow.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dlongwell
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2021
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A cow, a chicken and a pig go to Mac Donalds.

In pieces.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SleepOrderDis
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2021
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Did you hear about the cow that tried to jump a barbed wire fence?

Utter disaster.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Super4rank
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2021
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How does a cow walk?

One foot in front of the udder.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StringTraveler
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2021
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You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…

"What about the udder one?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2021
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Why did the Cows return to the marijuana field?

It was the pot calling the cattle back.

Edit: Thank you for the awards.

I was expecting this to go noticed like most of my other posts. You peeps rock!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TrikkWikkid5150
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
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I NEED ORIGINAL COW PUNS can you suggest any please?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nicht-deutsch
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2018
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I told my 7 year old daughter, "Go to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field."

Puzzled she asked, "What's that got to do with anything?

I chuckled, "Well that means....its pasture bedtime. "

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2021
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns dont work

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mitalily
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2021
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Why do cows wear bells?

Their horns don’t work.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pitmule
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
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What do you call a cow after an abortion?

De-calf-inated

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tuck190
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2021
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I told my daughter, "Go to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field." She said, "What's that got to do with anything?"

I said "That means it's pasture bedtime."

πŸ‘︎ 23k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ArchipelagoMind
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
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