Is it 15%? 20%? I can never remember, I'm a terrible cow tipper
I told him I’ve never been served by a cow before.
Farmers pay them a competitive wage.
It wasn’t stroganoff...
The stakes were too high.
>A MOO MOO!
<<Thanks folks! I'm here all week! Don't forget to tip your cows!>>
Doesn’t he know cow tipping is illegal?
I do love me some cow tipping.
you'll know we've reached the cow tipping point.
Cow tipping.
A coworker and I were talking about how turtles act when they're on their shells and how some people do it them on purpose. Coworker says, "it's sort of like cow tipping. Have you ever tipped a cow?" And I shook my head and said, "I've never even been served by a cow." He then punched me in the face and walked far, far away from me.
Ok I might have embellished that very last part.
Her: "You know, cows don't really tip that easily" Me: "Wait, have you actually been cow tipping??" Her: "I tried. It was an utter disaster!"
What do you call a cow with three legs?
Tri-tip.
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with one leg?
Steak.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with five legs?
A mootation.
What do you call a cow with four legs?
A cow.
What do you call a cow that tried to jump over a barbed wire fence?
Udder destruction.
Because cows don't like to tip.
Oh MOOgosh. This might just sound like a load of Bull, but please STEER me out.
Deja Moo (Sung to the tune of Fresh Prince of Bel-air)
Now these are puns all about COWS
Their milk gets flipped, churned all around.
And I’d like to take a minute but I won’t stop and prattle
And tell you this story you haven’t HERD about cattle.
In IstanBULL I was born and BRAISED.
In the pastures back then in my HAYDAYS.
Chewing cud, RUMPING round, and making a fuss.
TANNING out so UDDERLY ridiculous.
When a couple of HEIFERS who had BEEF with me
Started BULLying on my Brand , you see.
I got TIPPED over once and my mom got scared
She said you're MOOvin your behind, your butt, your DAIRY Air.
I whistled for a calf and when it came near
Thought she was a babe, but HE was a STEER!
If anything I can say this STEAK is rare
But that Bovine was BO-FINE so I didn’t care!
I got milked a few times, maybe 7 or 8
More like long-gonehorn, than reliable date.
So I CHUCKED out the udder half of the pasture,
Bevo ain’t a cow, don’t got what I’m after.
Fun fact: a Dairy Cow can produce 125lbs of saliva a day.
Her: "Are cows nice?"
Me: "Of course they are. That's why we tip them."
