I got a call in the middle of the night, and when I answered, the person on the other end of the line’s teeth were chattering...

Turns out it was a cold caller!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Homer_Simpson2
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2018
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A daughter asked her father, "Why are they called shoes?"

The father said it was a very old story about two inventors named Johnson and Hues. One day Hues was working feverishly on his latest project and talking to himself out loud. Unfortunately for Johnson, his project was not going well and Hues' constant chatter was getting on his last nerve. Suddenly, Hues lept from his chair in excitement and said "I finally did it!" "I finally invented a protective layer of apparel to be worn on the feet!" Johnson was a timid man that never attempted to stifle Hues' talking, but he was about to snap. At last, Hues cried out one last time to himself "...but what shall I call them?", to which Johnson finally retorted, "SSSSHHHH, Hues!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Arkangel_Ash
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
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Why is it hard to keep secrets in the North Pole?

Because your teeth chatter

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2019
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What's the most common dialogue in movies?

[indistinct chattering]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mikekhan7
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
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The floods had subsided, and Noah had safely landed his ark on Mount Sinai. "Go forth and multiply!" he told the animals...

...and so off they went two by two, and within a few weeks Noah heard the chatter of tiny monkeys, the snarl of tiny tigers and the stomp of baby elephants.

Then he heard something he didn't recognise… a loud, revving buzz coming from the woods. He went in to find out what strange animal's offspring was making this noise, and discovered a pair of snakes wielding a chainsaw.

"What on earth are you doing?" he cried. "You're destroying the trees!"

"Well Noah," the snakes replied, "we tried to multiply as you bade us, but we're adders… so we have to use logs."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bittibitti
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2018
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Well, her mouth IS always moving, soooo

We're shopping at Wegman's last night and the wife is chattering away. All the sudden she stopped talking and started going "hummna hummna hummna". What? says I. "I forgot what I was saying" replies she. "So you put your mouth into an idle?"

The cashier and two people at the service counter thought that was funny. The wife says I have no sense of humor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fixsomething
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2018
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The Long Con

A while ago I was sat down to dinner with my family, a delicious meal as it always is, ta very much Mum. Throughout dinner and the usual post-dinner chatter Dad had been muttering "My my myyyy Delilah..." to himself. Usually you can ignore a bit of a quiet singsong someone outside of a conversation is having to themselves but every 10-15 minutes he'd go "My my myyyy Delilah...". A good 2 hours after starting our dinner my sister feels the need to ask "Dad, why do you keep singing my my my delilah? Was there a song on the radio or something?". Dad gives a confused little look and goes "Hmmm? What? Oh dear oh dear oh dear... It's actually a medical problem. I went to the doctor about it recently" then raises his head trying to conceal that grin that we all know and dread. "He said I had Tom Jones Syndrome. I asked if it was common. He just shrugged and said it's not unusual". I gave him two thumbs up and a look of respect, most of the table gave a horrified groan. 2 Hours! the dedication on that man!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MeesterMoses
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2015
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