An actual conversation between my wife and my son yesterday.

My wife has been teaching my son to fold his own laundry but he complains about it everytime. My wife, trying to convince my son, said to him "If you pick up this habit, your future wife will love you very much."

My son replied "I don't want my future wife to love me very much. I want my future wife to help me fold my laundry."

I busted out laughing. But the end result is that now I have to fold my own laundry going forward.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/infinit9
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28
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A conversation with my wife

Her, handing me a pillow: "Can you take this please?" Me: "Sure, but that's a pillow, not a please."

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/webbwbb
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13
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Two guys are having a conversation about their friends who speak Spanish.

The first guy says, β€œI like to say β€˜mucho’ to my Spanish friends as much as I can.” The second guy asks, β€œWhy would you say that?” The first guy replies, β€œ Because I know it means a lot to them.”

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dingdongdan69
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14
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An actual conversation with work friends

We’re sitting in the chill out area at work and there’s an old Metallica guitar Tab book near us.

One of the girls says β€œThat book smells like the 90’s”.

A guy laughs and says β€œWhat does the 90’s smell like?”

I say β€œTeen Spirit!”

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/r1pen
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29
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This breadiculous conversation reddit.com/gallery/m97sim
πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TrumpetSamurai
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20
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A conversation I had with my stepkids

8-year-old: "Dad, did you know that Humpty Dumpty and Puss in Boots are brothers?"

me: "You know being Humpty Dumpty's brother is not all it's cracked up to be?"

everyone: silence

me: "Give me a break, I am new to this dad joke thing."

teenager: Cracks up

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/withouta3
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15
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Text message conversation with my dad the other day, where I out-dadded him.

Dad: Give me your best knock knock joke. Or jokes. Do it when you can no rush.

Me: Does it have to be a knock knock joke or can it be any joke?

Dad: Knock Knock.

Me: Who’s there?

πŸ‘︎ 16k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NC0828
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
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How do you get out of a conversation with the Easter Bunny?

Well. You don’t want to egg him on; he’s a real basket case. Hop out of there.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jcvista69
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29
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I borrowed materials from my friend years ago who is a chain link enthusiast. During a heated conversation, I exclaimed that wood is superior...

I didn't expect it but he took a fence.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/alexd281
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26
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The wife accused me of always dropping random Elvis lyrics in our conversations.

Her suspicious mind left me all shook up

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 16
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A real conversation I had last night

Her: β€œIs it difficult for you to talk about this stuff?” (My erectile dysfunction)

Me: β€œY’know, normally yeah it is, but with you it’s nothing hard at all...”

Edit: I made this joke completely by accident and then immediately started laughing like a maniac.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Choopzilla
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31
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A touching conversation
πŸ‘︎ 890
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LazyYoda
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
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[an actual conversation I had with my beer loving father]

Me: "Hey dad, hypothetically, if the world suddenly ran out of beer, what would you do?"

Dad: "I'd probably swap to pandas."

Me: "Is ... is that like a type of cider?"

Dad: "No, it's a black and white animal."

Me: "Dad? There aren't any pandas in New Zealand?"

Dad: "Well, there's no bears either."

πŸ‘︎ 464
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yupitsnoone
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
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Daughter (complaining): :Daaaad, that's boring!" Son (overhearing end of conversation): "What's boring?"

Me (to son): digging holes in the ground.

mum: snigger

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/td941
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17
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Just a regular conversation
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jluke223
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
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I met a midget once, our conversation was very awkward...

I’m not very good at small talk.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/justbeatitTTD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
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Conversations about mythical creatures can sometimes drag on
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ToxianLeader
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
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Conversation regarding YouTuber Therapist "Dr Honda" I had with my girlfriend
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/J-L-Picard
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
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A conversation with my 11 year old this morning...

Son: Dad, there's a hole in your t-shirt. Me: I know, it's my religious t-shirt. Son: gives me a blank look Me: It's holy!

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DarthCoffeeBean
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
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I just had a text conversation with my daughter...

She was sitting in the car at the mall while her mother shopped. I was sitting inside the mall but outside the shop waiting and wishing I was dead.

Daughter: How much longer, I have to pee.

Me: I have no idea. You'd better come inside, if you don't, urine trouble.

Daughter: You're an idiot.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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Three old ladies were having a picnic when the following conversation took place.

First lady: Isn’t it a bit windy? Second lady: I thought it was Thursday. Third lady: Me too, let’s have a cup of tea.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dusk118
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
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A conversation with Dracula

me: i’m going to make one of those diagrams that uses circles

dracula: venn

me: probably tomorrow

πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notmypornaccount9
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
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Conversation with my 2y old son: What will happen if the moon falls down? Me: Hmm. Maybe we can play football with it?

Son: Nah. The moon has no legs.

πŸ‘︎ 53
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Strungen
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
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A real conversation between my brother and his wife + me

Brother: Babe, we need to eat all the pears, they’re going to go bad soon.

SIL: but I don’t like pears, you can eat the rest of them...

Brother: I don’t think I can eat the rest of them by myself though...

Me, from another part of the room: well you better pre-pear yourself!

*ugly laughs from the couch

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/easolo23
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
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An eggstra special conversation
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MonkeyMan_Man
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
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I had a conversation with a ghost once

But I knew it was lying because I could see right thourgh it

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zombiehunter201
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
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So I had this conversation with a friend just now
πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Atairy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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Why don't people like having conversations with the ocean?

Because it's always salty!

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/phantombrowser405
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
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School Drop off Conversation

A Conversation I had with my Daughter when I dropped her off at school

Me: Hey so you know how your cats are always running around all over the place right?
Daughter: Yeah why?
Me: So When they stop moving are they on Paws?
Daughter: Face Palms and says "OKAY DAD BYEEE!!!"
Me: YESSSS! Fist Pump!

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ajmansell
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
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I can never have a good conversation about wrenches with anyone...

I guess there just isn’t that much to torque about.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LazyBeast_Gaming
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
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A legit conversation today with my 2 1/2 year old son as we do our daily stroll past a train station that for once, has no trains stationed...

Son: Daddy, where is Thomas? Daddy: I don’t know, mate. Son: He must be working from home today.

Is this his first dad joke?? Strange what they must be picking up from conversations. Got me good.

πŸ‘︎ 598
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dens382
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
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Honest conversation.
πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/elko
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
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What do you call a conversation with Beyonce from beyond the grave?

SΓ©once

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EckisReckis
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
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Verbatim account of a conversation with my son at breakfast this morning that makes me feel like I’m dadding well:

Son: β€œI hate crumbs.”

Me: β€œThat’s not cool. Crumbs never did anything to you.”

Son: β€œWell I don’t want to eat them.”

Me: β€œAnd they don’t want to eat you.”

Son: β€œCrumbs can’t eat anything, Dad. They don’t have a mouth and they can’t swallow things inside them.”

Me: β€œWhat if there’s a river of crumbs going into the ocean and a duck lands on them and it’s like quicksand so the duck gets swallowed up at the mouth of the river of crumbs? I’d say it just got eaten.”

Son: β€œAnd I’d say you’re ducking weird.”

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VeryLastBison
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
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Just had a quick conversation with my dad and thought it belonged here

Me: The washer is free

Dad: No it wasn’t, it cost a lot

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/unions-orchid
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2020
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I was born a tree with a penchant for conversation

And I will die a log.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/willowhelmiam
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
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My school going son throws a tantrum everytime I bring up maths and numbers in ordinary conversations

Well, what can i say, kids his age are irrational

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orschinparjin
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
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Never get into a conversation with a flying reptile

Their conversations always dragon for way too long

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pusilli
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
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I’m not good with conversations, so I practice talking to large rocks.

It helps me speak boulder.

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
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Such a classic and unoriginal, but my dad just slipped this in a conversation.

I had a cold and my dad asked if my nose was running.

I said yes.

He said, You had better catch it then

I love my dad

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RekYaAll
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
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Two melons were having a conversation about their furture

They were in love, but one of their parents refused to let one of the melons marry the other, so it suggested that they run off and get married. The other melon said, "I'm sorry, but I cantaloupe."

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MasterCheezOtter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
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As a dad of boys, poop is always a solid conversation topic.

Sometimes, not so solid, either.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/astucker85
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
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I borrowed materials from my friend years ago who is a chain link enthusiast. During a heated conversation, I exclaimed that wood is superior...

I didn't expect it but he took a fence.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/alexd281
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26
🚨︎ report

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