Pig puns.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cadaverkitten94
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What happened after Harry Potter kissed a pig?

He got hogwarts

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/THPSROCKS
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2021
🚨︎ report
From my 7yr old daughter: Why was the pig covered in ink?

Because he lived in a pen!

So very proud!

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/soaraf
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2021
🚨︎ report
My best friend gave me this today because I'm obsessed with pigs & it is the best card I've ever gotten. reddit.com/gallery/lkaalp
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cadaverkitten94
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2021
🚨︎ report
My sister was complaining her online dating profile only attracted pigs.

She's a real babe magnet.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BellaLugosisChips
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2021
🚨︎ report
You know a pigs favourite song?

Don't go bacon my heart.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2021
🚨︎ report
Why should you never pick on a pig dressed all in black?

Because Batman is sworn to protect Goth Ham

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/benfh
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2021
🚨︎ report
What do wild pigs drink?

Boarbon

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/incredibleinkpen
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the pig go to jail ?

Someone squealed on him.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you pick a pig's nose?

Ham boogers.

I know, I know, snot funny.

-Edit- Thanks for the awards guys! First silver! :-D

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mama_Bear15
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the pig say on a hot summer day?

I’m bacon out here!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/westsoutheast
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2021
🚨︎ report
A cow, a chicken and a pig go to Mac Donalds.

In pieces.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SleepOrderDis
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2021
🚨︎ report
Shamelessly stolen from the "Flying Pigs" comedy troop.
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orlanthi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the pig captain of the ship say before leaving port?

Oinkers Away!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mallthus2
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2021
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between a baked sweet potato and a forcefully flying pig?

One is a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Columbus_Explorer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
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Pig iron
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LokiTheZorua
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you have 50 pigs and 50 deer?

100 sows and bucks.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BoletusVenandi
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2021
🚨︎ report
My 9 year old told me this....What do you get when you cross a pig and an oven ??

Bakin'

πŸ‘︎ 125
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Amart1985
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
My son's science fair entry was a volcano made of a fat product from rendering the fatty tissue of a pig. My son's fat teacher waddled around everywhere when he set it off...

The lard ash was everywhere!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a stuffed toy pig when throw like a football?

Spiral ham.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MahlonMurder
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you clean a pig?

Ham sanitizer

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fletch-8221
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you cross a bird of prey and a pig?

A Ham-Hawk..

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bad11ama
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you cross a hedgehog and a pig?

A porkupine.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jollyflyingcactus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
🚨︎ report
Kids want to know why I named my new guinea pig Moresby, well..

Because it’s papa’s new guinea

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/coloredboyadvance
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
🚨︎ report
A pig and a horse walk into a movie theater.

The horse didn’t feel like buying popcorn so he brought some hay. A theater employee saw him and said. β€œAre you sneaking outside food into the theater?”

The horse said β€œnay.”

The pig squealed.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JiminyKirket
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the guinea pig say to the hamster before leaving work on Friday?

Have a good wheek-end!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chonkin_GuineaPig
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What would you call a pig that obeys the laws of gravity?

A groundhog

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FurriesRGay14
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 80
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between politicians and flying pigs?

The letter f

πŸ‘︎ 273
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jerilishous
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you pick a pigs nose 🐽?

Ham boogers.

I know. I know...

Snot funny

πŸ‘︎ 58
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a pig from New York?

A New Porker...

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brady01234
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
🚨︎ report
Why would a pig dressed in black never get bullied?

Because Batman has sworn to protect goth ham

πŸ‘︎ 353
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordCinko
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
🚨︎ report
I was going to write this joke in Pig Latin...

But it wouldn’t be kosher.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jake_ub
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you cross a Dinosaur and a pig?

Jurassic Pork...

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Arachnadia
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2021
🚨︎ report
Why would a pig dressed in black never get bullied?

Because Batman has sworn to protect goth ham.

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/meggieveggie
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
🚨︎ report
If pigs could fly, bacon would be leaner.
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kathyeco
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a pig with three eyes?

Piiig

πŸ‘︎ 74
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lolyfe-dc
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a pig with 3 eyes?

PIIIG

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/risingphoenix22
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you pick a pig’s nose?

Ham Boogers

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ProjectOcoee
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a pig that can't drive?

A road hog

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotA_Drug_Dealer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you pick a pig's nose?

Hambooger

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Forsaken1372
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you pick a pig's nose?

Ham boogers

πŸ‘︎ 334
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πŸ‘€︎ u/reydeguitarra
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Why would a pig dressed in black never get bullied?

Because Batman has sworn to protect goth ham.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/oxfordthethird
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2020
🚨︎ report

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