My addiction to refrigerated poultry has gone too far

I'm quitting cold turkey

πŸ‘οΈŽ 598
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Hugh_McMan
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 21 2020
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πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RoymondRoy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 05 2021
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A guy at school kept hitting me with poultry...

I got goose bumps

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 08 2020
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What do you call mean poultry?

A jerk chicken!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ggfchl
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 04 2020
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I stopped eating poultry.

I gave up cold turkey.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 18 2020
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The Pilgrim's Pride CEO plead "not guilty" today in a poultry price-fixing case

What a chicken.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/badenglishihave
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 05 2020
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I think I'm addicted to eating poultry from the fridge

Looks like I'm going to have to quit cold turkey.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 54
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kingcasel
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 30 2019
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I just need dad joke enthusiasts to know that the International Poultry Meat Congress is held in Turkey this year.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 67
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PhilipGlassEye
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 24 2019
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It is with deepest regret that I have to inform you all, my poultry dating site will be closing down,

as I can no longer make hens meet!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 46
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Twigsnapper
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 13 2018
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Apparently made with conservative poultry.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Spyrulfyre
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 28 2018
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Mr. Jones loses his poultry and drove of pigs in a vicious coyote attack one night.

Upon hearing the news, his neighbours and other farm owners decide to chip in to help him through a tough time.

With high hopes and heavy pockets, they reach Mr. Jones' farmhouse, only to see him merrily sipping lemonade on the porch. Confused, a person from the horde asks him, "Aren't you devastated?"

To which the farmer says,

No ham, no fowl

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/theswarthyknight
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 18 2018
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My poultry business isn’t doing so well, my chicken account is almost at zero.

lol

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/fus_ro_derrp
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 23 2018
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My Jamaican friend invited me to his poultry farm

The second I arrived his chickens started to attack me.

He fought them off and said, β€œSorry about them. They’re jerk chickens.”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ToroZuzuX
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 03 2018
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What do you call a successful, wealthy poultry farmer?

A chick magnate

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/itsmoolla
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 18 2017
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I really can't stand poultry seasoning.

It just smells so fowl.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/carnageraiser
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 24 2017
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What dating app does poultry use?

Chicken Tinder.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Tyburskii
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 25 2017
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Poultry in motion.

Co-worker and I were talking about his contract here, and if he's heard anything about the position here at work. He told me he hasn't, but that he has some other interviews coming up.

"I don't want to keep all my eggs in one basket" he tells me.

"That's right." I reply. "You should keep them in the fridge so they don't spoil!"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TrainAss
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 02 2016
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My friend was addicted to eating frozen poultry

He quit cold turkey

πŸ‘οΈŽ 63
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Huardy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 16 2018
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I gave up eating deli meat poultry

I quit cold turkey

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HPAP
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 14 2018
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