LOOKING FOR DUCK PUNS

please actual duck puns, play on words.

not jokes :) thanks!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Glass_Reach3509
πŸ“…︎ May 29
🚨︎ report
Give me your best duck puns

I live for them, they quack me up. Give me what y'all got >:)

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HartzelloS
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16
🚨︎ report
Duck puns

I may be a goose, but I sure am quackers

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πŸ‘€︎ u/A_hard_pistachio
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2017
🚨︎ report
My favorite crime tv show has a duck as the main character.

He always quacks the case.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/T20J
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01
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A duck wants into a pharmacy and says to the pharmacist: β€œI’d like some chapstick”

The pharmacist says β€œbut you’re a duck, how are you going to pay for that?”

The duck says β€œit’s fine, just put it on my bill”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mindful_dodger
πŸ“…︎ May 02
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Son: "Dad! I just saw two ducks at the park!"

Dad: β€œSorry, son... That’s not possible.”

Son: β€œI really did, I promise!”

Dad: β€œIt isn’t possible for two ducks to be be in the same place at the same time.”

Son: β€œWhy not?”

Dad: β€œBecause, son. It would create a pair-o-ducks!”

πŸ‘︎ 194
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πŸ‘€︎ u/potatoade
πŸ“…︎ May 18
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We have a duck dealer over here
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 04
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Why are ducks so crazy?

Because they're addicted to quack!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JustAnAverageBrit
πŸ“…︎ May 02
🚨︎ report
Why do ducks have tail feathers?

To cover up their butt quacks

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bones82
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06
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Why was the duck arrested?

Coz he was selling quack

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Esmeralda_i
πŸ“…︎ May 30
🚨︎ report
I told my son that I have 19 jokes about ducks

18 are too fowl to repeat but this one just quacks me up

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OH-Beans
πŸ“…︎ May 05
🚨︎ report
What is a ducks favourite dip?

Quackamole

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Paul-Swims
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03
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A duck was found dead on the sidewalk today...

The autopsy revealed he overdosed on quack.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ May 03
🚨︎ report
LPT: If you see someone about to be attacked by a duck, don’t try to warn them.

It only makes things worse.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 19
🚨︎ report
A platypus walks into a bar owned by a duck. He finishes his drink, and asks for the check.

Duck billed platypus.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 10
🚨︎ report
How do you turn a duck into an accomplished soul singer?

You cook it in the microwave until its Bill Withers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/duggers45
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01
🚨︎ report
What do you call a duck with a condom?

A rubber ducky

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JesseLynx
πŸ“…︎ May 20
🚨︎ report
I ordered a large duck at the Chinese last night.

The bill was huge.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ May 04
🚨︎ report
A duck walks into a drugstore to pick up a prescription. The pharmacist asks him,

"Cash or charge?"

The duck replies, "Nah....Just put it on my bill!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lodiman77
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02
🚨︎ report
What’s the worst part about going out to eat duck?

The Bill.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dirty-Slippers
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01
🚨︎ report
Why does a duck have feathers?

To cover up its buttQUACK

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iAmExisting69420
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05
🚨︎ report
Got kicked out of the zoo for feeding the ducks....

To the crocodiles .

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03
🚨︎ report
2 women in a restaurant, when a duck walks in with a huge bunch of flowers. He places them on the table and says,

"You two ladies are so beautiful with sparkling eyes. "

One of the women stopped him, called the waiter over and said, I ordered AROMATIC duck."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ May 10
🚨︎ report
What do you call a duck that can rap?

Drake

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/supra_elongata
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24
🚨︎ report
A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink

He tells the bartender, β€œput it on my bill”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bakedlogik
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28
🚨︎ report
What is a ducks favorite snack?

Cheese and quackers

(My kid made that up last night)

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/D-B-Zzz
πŸ“…︎ May 11
🚨︎ report
What do you call a duck with no wings

A dive

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Colm_Bucha
πŸ“…︎ May 11
🚨︎ report
Why did the duck go to jail?

For smoking quack!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09
🚨︎ report
I can't take my dog to the park anymore. The ducks keep biting him.

I should have known this would happen. He's pure bread.

πŸ‘︎ 91
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27
🚨︎ report
Why did Daffy Duck go to rehab?

He couldn't lay off the quack.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/meirzy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27
🚨︎ report
We’re you aware that the NFL has a rule on professional athletes and the animals they can own as pets? They are prohibited from owning a duck as a pet!

It’s considered a foul

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OH-Beans
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22
🚨︎ report
How does a duck find a wife?

Mallarder bride...

Love and New Balance shoes, Dad

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bradb717
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15
🚨︎ report
I can’t take my dog to the park as all the ducks keep trying to bite him...

My fault for getting one that’s pure bread.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lucifer_0915
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06
🚨︎ report
I need duck puns

I’m going to be a duck for holloween I need some duck puns please help

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ducks-Are-Betterr
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I need duck puns for the love of god

plz

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TAmaL3
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2016
🚨︎ report
I need as many duck puns as you guys can give me.

My marketing class is doing a fundraiser for the girls basketball team and it involves chucking rubber ducks.

The event is called chuck a duck and I need as many punny ideas to photoshop into posters as possible.

Also historic events that replace people with rubber ducks helps too.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fuzzyblackyeti
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2013
🚨︎ report
Why do ducks have feathers?

To cover up their butt quacks

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GrandmasGenitals
πŸ“…︎ May 30
🚨︎ report
Son: β€œDad! I just saw two ducks at the park!”

Dad: β€œSorry, son... That’s not possible.”

Son: β€œWhy? Because it would be a pair-o’-ducks?

Dad: β€œNo, because you’re blind.”

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BadJokeBill
πŸ“…︎ May 19
🚨︎ report
A platypus walks into a bar owned by a duck.

He orders a drink, and asks for the check.

Duck billed platypus.

Edit: Thanks guys.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you make a duck into a soul singer?

Put it in a microwave until it's Bill Withers.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rainbowape
πŸ“…︎ May 04
🚨︎ report
I can't take my dog to the lake anymore because the ducks keep attacking him.

That's what I get for buying a pure bread dog.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/XxDorrianxX
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19
🚨︎ report
A platypus walks into a bar owned by a duck. He finishes his drink, and asks for the check.

Duck billed platypus.

πŸ‘︎ 91
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16
🚨︎ report
Why did the ducks eat the dog?

Because it was pure bread

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BeatsbyChrisBrown
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11
🚨︎ report
Got chucked out of the zoo for feeding the ducks...

....to the crocodiles.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07
🚨︎ report
I need duck puns! Right now! Please help!
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FalcoFear
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2015
🚨︎ report

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