I have made the switch from Pheasant to Venison

It's been an absolute game changer!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stoatwobbler
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2019
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Customer had a pheasant stuck in the grill of their truck, took it to the shop for removal...

It was an unpheasant task

Original post in link above.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fericyde
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2014
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The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested.

I hear they're gonna give him a really tough sentence.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_kefir
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2020
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Why was the man smiling after the farmer gave him a chicken?

because he was pheasantly supplied

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cauterberri
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
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Police have arrested the world tongue-twister champion.

They said he'll be given a tough sentence.

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ‘€︎ u/Degtyrev
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2020
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My wife was picking feathers off my sweater...

and turns to me and asked, "have you been cheating on me with a bird?"

So I look at her right in the eye and said, "I swear... It was just a peck on the cheek."

She almost kicked me out of the house.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2014
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Autocorrect was my pal on this one

My girlfriend was texting me from a different city and said "The weather app said it would be cold today yet it's ducking 73 out here and I'm wearing a sweater."

I hit her with the "Geese babe, that seriously isn't pheasant at all..."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ouipareils
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2015
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I went bird hunting with my son

It was quite pheasant

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πŸ‘€︎ u/karmakurama
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2019
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Husband just dropped this on our son.

For context we have a pair of Guinea fowl and a pair of pheasants that have a coop in our back yard.

5 year old son, husband and I discussing our birds. Son: So are our birds married? Me: Yes, didn't you get an invitation? Son: No. Maybe there wasn't room in their coop. Husband: I heard the officiant was a cardinal, and the live entertainment was flock of seagulls

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πŸ‘€︎ u/brittanymow
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2019
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Clean kill

My grandfather, in his younger days, retired from his NASCAR dreams to do construction so he could raise a family. Fast forward 45 years to 1994. I was around 15. My grandfather, grandmother, her mother, and I were on the return trip from the Costco and liquor store just inside the no sales tax state of Oregon. My grandfather was, as usual, driving. He raced for Lincoln and they sponsored him so they gave him a really good lifetime discount. He drove a brand new Continental his entire life. He always raced down to Oregon as fast as he could and then tried beating his time while driving back. Suddenly, at about 140mph, a Pheasant committed suicide on the front end. We could see feathers occasionally come loose. Grandpa already had a couple minutes to make up. Needless to say, despite my grandma's insistance, stopping to investigate wasn't in the plans. When we got home, he was cussing an ill timed traffic light with a bored motorcycle cop parked on the sidewalk waiting for his target. My grandma and great grandma nearly died when, without batting an eye, grandpa pulled the Pheasant off the car, grabbed his Gerber knife, and stripped, cleaned, and threw the bird on the BBQ. I was in dying from laughter at this point. Grandma and my great grandma were dying from embarrassment. He offered them some and grandma angrily refused for the 3 of us, calling it road kill. Without skipping a beat, he calmly replied "This isn't road kill, it's Continental Wild Pheasant, Twice-Grilled."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sierragirl78
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2018
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Brainstorming food/movie theme nights. It es-kale-lated quickly. Only thing in my Bumble profile now.

When Harry Met Salad

What About Ke-Bob

Cumin to America

Weekend at Bearneaise II

Steakin I, II, & III

A Few Good Salmon

You’ve Got Kale

Shawshank Re-Dim Sum

Romancing the Scone

An Γ‰clair to Remember

Roman Hollandaise

Glazed and Confused

Bill & Ted’s Eggcellent Adventure

The Evil Bread

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang Shrimp

Fondue the Right Thing

Ribeyes Wide Shut


Plante of the Grapes

Spider Manchu

Sushis All That

A Wok to Remember

Marsala-la Land

Apocalypse Cow

Die Chard

Die Chard with a Vinaigrette

Hogan’s Gyros

The Sand Latkes

A League of their Macaroni

Revenge of the Curds

Rush S’More

Braising Arizona

Demolition Ham

10 Things I hate About Ewe


Oliver and Com-penne

Dirty Rotten Chanterelles

Sex and the Satay

The Truth About Cats & Hotdogs

Morella Enchanted

Provolone Together

Clear and Pheasant Danger

The Big Chili

LΓ©mon: The Professional


Hocous Pocous

High Fi-Deli Meat


The Fifth Elementos

Muensters Inc.

There’s Something About Rosemary

I Am Ham

Quiche Lorraine Man

Barley & Me

Lentil Giants

Peggy SoufflΓ© Got Married

Face Stroganoff

Con GruyΓ©re

Fast Times at Porridgemont High

Bok Choys in the Hood


Requinoa for a Dream

Serial Cardamom

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kat_fogg
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2019
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A king had a problem with a serial killer chicken...

He placed 30 silver coins as a bounty, and was peeved after a month had passed and nobody had taken the offer. He inquired to his squire, who responded that nobody would undergo such an unpleasant pheasant hunt for such a poultry sum.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KetoSaiba
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2016
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I met this owl the other day...

He wasn't a pheasant bird, but don't get me wrong he wasn't a fowl bird either. He just kept quiet and didn't seem to give a hoot about anything.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CosmicNoire
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2018
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The wife cooked game pie for dinner tonight. I wasn't expecting to like it but....

...I was pheasantly surprised!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThePeninsula
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2016
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Final Fantasy X

My friend was playing FFX last night and came upon the Triple Foul sphere for Wakka. Neither of us could remember, off the tops of our heads, what it did. That was when I said, 'Triple Foul? Pheasant, chicken, and duck?'


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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rodeohno
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2014
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