A seabird stole my sausage.... It was a tern for the wurst.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/urlordcov
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2020
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Scientist studying the effect of cannabis on seabirds, have left no tern unstoned.
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dadjokesig
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2018
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Certain seabirds mate for life. Because one good tern deserves another.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quibblicous
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2019
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A group of sea-birds flew over Amsterdam. No tern was left unstoned.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/atomicmarc
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2017
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Bird Puns?

Toucan play at that game.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheDukeOfSpiffing
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
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Why should you be worried if you see cows smoking marijuana?

Cause that's when the steaks are highest.

Edit: Well this is rare, I wasn't sure how well done this joke was. Thanks for the face palm.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wileydan
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2020
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Why do sausage makers love migratory seabirds?

Because it takes a tern for the wurst.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/QuillofNumenor
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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What's your opinion on permitting coastal birds to smoke weed?

As I for one think that we should Seagullize Marijuana

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cnuttyforehead
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
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I thought I saw a German sausage fly past my window, but it was actually a seabird.

I think I’ve taken a tern for the wurst.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/snipesma
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
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I thought I just saw a flying sausage outside my window, but it was actually a migratory bird.

Looks like I’ve taken a tern for the wurst.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Windy246
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
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A pet store in New Mexico has seabirds in the window for sale; I bought the one on the right, but...

...I knew I shoulda taken that left tern at Albuquerque!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FunMathematician1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
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Police are looking for a man selling marijuana to birds.

Eyewitnesses report he left no tern unstoned.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/2shoesnotfellows
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
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Scientists are studying the effect of drugs on various seabirds.

They're leaving no tern unstoned.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2020
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A man was arrested at the beach for feeding pot brownies to the seagulls. It was his third such arrest because, as he put it,...

β€œI shall leave no tern unstoned.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zeroing-in
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2020
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What do you call a shorebird that believes everything you say?

I'm not sure, sea gull-ible in the dictionary.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/observer2017
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2019
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My local pet shop is having a Buy One, Get One Free sale on birds

The slogan is: One good tern deserves another.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hero_of_Thyme81
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
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What if...

What if we're all wrong about the lyrics to The Byrd's song, and it's really Tern, Tern, Tern?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EngineersAnon
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
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Ornithologists have recently been studying if cannabis has any effect on seabirds...

They’ve left no tern un-stoned.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/smartasskicker
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2019
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I like seeing when a couple of nice seabirds find each other...

One good tern deserves another.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2019
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A friend asked for a comprehensive collection of information about seabirds...

...So I gave him a book of alternative facts.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ysarro
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2017
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Disaster at the Los Angeles zoo today

when the snake pit was accidentally filled in. The zoo keeper said "it's terrible terrible news, now the snakes don't even have a pit to hiss in.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mosvicious
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2017
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The most frustrating thing about standing in line at the bird store

...is that you have to wait forever before it's your tern.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ottodidakt
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2018
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A War of Birds

Due to a difference in a pinion, a flock of doves attempted to stage an immediate coo by just winging it. So it wasn't surprising that, after creating an add-hawk unit (which many in the bird community considered fowl play), the eagles' military was just too strong and talonted, and the fledgling, emutional uprising subsequently took a tern for the worst.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HansSven
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2013
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In my mission to promote medical marijuana amongst marine birds,

I shall leave no tern unstoned.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pedantichrist
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2017
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The other day I got high with the birds at the beach.

I left no tern unstoned.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2013
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Co-worker got this text from her dad

A flock of terns landed a field of medical marijuana. A vet went out to check on them. He found no tern unstoned.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LegoGreenLantern
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2016
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It's been too cold to venture out the past few days. I'm not sure if cabin fever is setting in, or if dad's sense of humor has always been this lame.

We were all sitting there watching an Animal Planet special on bird migration (not by choice, the remote died), and after a few minutes apparent contemplation dad let this one loose on us.

"Did you hear about the ornithologist whose expedition was cancelled due to a severe snow storm?

I guess you could say things took an arctic tern for the worst!"

I think I may be booking a seat on the soonest ice floe out of this burg just to get away.

Oh no, he's got me doing it! It's spreading - run, save yourselves!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/barthm1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2015
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Grandad got me while painting.

I was painting this rock wall for my grandfather, and he was making sure I did a good job.

I said "Don't worry grandad, I won't leave any stone unturned".

He turned around for a sec and said "Did I ever tell you about my friend who walked along the beach, carrying rocks? He always left no tern unstoned"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pasta755
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2014
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Why are seabirds always found in groups?

Because one good tern deserves another.

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
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Police are looking for a man who was seen selling Marijuana to birds.

Eyewitness reports say that he left no Tern Unstoned.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I thought I saw a flying German sausage, but it turned out to be a seabird.

I took a tern for the wurst.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Along the shore, some birds cooperate with each other...

because one good tern deserves another.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wjc-reddit
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2019
🚨︎ report
I thought I saw a sausage fly past my window, but it turns out it was just a seabird.

I took a tern for the wurst.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Radish00
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2018
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