Give me your best duck puns
I live for them, they quack me up. Give me what y'all got >:)
Duck puns
I may be a goose, but I sure am quackers
A platypus walks into a bar owned by a duck.
He orders a drink, and asks for the check.
Duck billed platypus.
Edit: Thanks guys.
What does a subatomic duck say?
What do you call a duck that steals?
Looks like I have all my ducks in a row
What’s a duck’s favourite drug?
Even though I'm an avid duck and goose hunter, I don't own any calls.
My wife doesn't want me using fowl language.
Why did the police officer arrest a duck?
The duck was selling quack
What do you call a duck that's high on drugs
How does a duck swim from one side of the pond to the other?
Why did the duck have to attend rehab?
What kind of drugs do ducks do?
I won't let my daughter near ducks...
Due to their fowl language
What happens when you unintentionally step on a duck
it's day 22 of drawing puns for inktober. Duck tape
So proud of my 3 year old daughter... her first dad joke. “Hey Dad, why did the duck cross the road?”
Because the chicken had the day off.
Neither my wife or I have any idea where she heard this. And she isn’t divulging her sources. Hilarious.
Edit: The first joke she’s told in general. And happened to be a dad joke. :-)
A duck walks into a bar
and orders a drink, then a little while after he finished that drink he ordered another and he accidentally drops the glass containing the drink and he says to the waitress put it on my bill, so the waitress begins to grab the glass shards that were on the ground and carefully placed them on the ducks bill and the duck asks what are you doing and the waitress says I’m putting it on your bill and the duck sarcastically says ohhhh you really quack me up and the waitress says oh I'm sorry did I ruffle your feathers.
I want to get a pet duck
But I’m broke and I hear they come with a huge bill.
Daffy Duck went to Porky Pig’s house. When he arrived he used the bathroom, but there wasn’t any toilet paper. Daffy yelled for Porky and Porky replied:
Bidet bidet bidet, that’s all folks.
What does a debt collector say when complimenting a duck?
“You have an outstanding bill!”
What do you get when you hit a duck on the freeway?
A quack in the windscreen.
When ducks fly in a V one side is always longer. Do you know the reason?
Why don't ducks tell jokes while they're flying?
Because they would quack up!
What do you call a duck with one eye?
They tried to make a diamond shaped like a duck
But it quacked under pressure
Why does a duck have tail feathers?
To cover it's butt quack.
Life Pro Tip ~ Don't ever put ducks in a cement mixer because…
You'll get quacks in the pavement!
If you watch a movie about ducks...
Is it called a duckumentary?
Bought a new muzzle for my pet duck the other day.
Nothing fancy, but it fits the bill.
No matter how many times she tried, Sherlock Holmes' wife could never convince him to grow fond of her pet duck.
He was a master of the duck shun.
I got home from work angry and tired, so I asked my wife if she could make turkey and duck for dinner.
Why do ducks have feathers??
To cover up their butt qwack
What’s a duck’s favorite breakfast food?
Where do royal British ducks live?
Why was the duck so tired?
He woke up at the quack of dawn.
I ordered a large duck at the Chinese last night...
What happens before a tsunami of ducks
I sold a couple ducks today
Why do ducks hate eating out with friends?
They always get stuck with the bill.
Why did the duck got into jail?
I need duck puns
I’m going to be a duck for holloween I need some duck puns please help
I need duck puns for the love of god
I need as many duck puns as you guys can give me.
My marketing class is doing a fundraiser for the girls basketball team and it involves chucking rubber ducks.
The event is called chuck a duck and I need as many punny ideas to photoshop into posters as possible.
Also historic events that replace people with rubber ducks helps too.
What does a subatomic duck say?
Why is one side longer then the other when ducks fly in a V?
Because there’s more ducks on that side
A platypus walks into a bar owned by a duck.
He finishes his drink and asks for the check.
Duck billed Platypus.
I need duck puns! Right now! Please help!
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